If you’ve ever found yourself staring at an email draft for an hour because your inner voice insists it’s not good enough, or if you constantly feel like you’re just one mistake away from being exposed as a fraud, you’re not alone. For working moms juggling career ambitions, emotional health, and family life, impostor syndrome is the uninvited guest who often crashes the party. Pair that with burnout, and it’s a cocktail of chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and a persistent cycle of self-doubt.
Let’s break this down: in this article, you will learn what impostor syndrome is, why it’s tied to burnout (especially for working moms), the five subtypes of impostor syndrome, and therapeutic exercises tailored to each. Spoiler: there’s hope—and humor—along the way.
About the author
As a doctor and burnout expert, I’ve helped countless high-achieving women navigate impostor syndrome and reclaim joy in their work lives. I know firsthand the toll long hours and constant fear can take. Handing back my membership of the Imposter Syndrome Club formed a crucial part of my burnout recovery. My mission? To arm you with evidence-based tools so you can thrive—not just survive.
What is impostor syndrome?
Impostor syndrome (or impostor phenomenon) describes the persistent self-doubt and feelings of fraudulence experienced by high-achieving individuals, even in the face of objective success. It’s the “I don’t deserve to be here” mantra, despite clear evidence that you do.
Signs of impostor syndrome include:
- Negative self-talk, like “I only got lucky” or “They’ll figure out I don’t belong here.”
- Fear of failure and constant fear of being exposed as a fraud.
- An unhealthy fixation on high standards and perfectionist tendencies.
Impostor syndrome is not just about you—external factors like workplace culture, family background, and systemic biases can fuel it. The systematic review of impostor phenomenon research consistently highlights its high prevalence among minority groups, medical workers, and knowledge workers, making it a hot topic in professional life and beyond.
The link between impostor syndrome and burnout
Impostor syndrome and burnout are toxic besties—they feed off each other in destructive ways. When you’re stuck in the impostor mindset, you overcompensate with long hours, additional responsibilities, and an obsessive need to prove yourself. This hard work can lead to high levels of stress, emotional exhaustion, and ultimately, burnout.
But imposter syndrome isn’t just a toxic friend to burnout, it’s also known to be a risk factor for it. Put simply, you’re more likely to burn out if you have Imposter Syndrome.
Burnout is more than just fatigue; it’s a state of chronic stress that can cause mental health symptoms like anxiety disorders, low self-esteem, and physical exhaustion. Here’s the kicker: because burnout can amplify feelings of inadequacy, it keeps the impostor cycle spinning.
Working moms are especially at risk. Why?
- Competing priorities: Balancing professional life, personal life, and family responsibilities can create high levels of anxiety.
- High standards: Many working moms hold themselves to perfectionist tendencies at home and work.
- Workplace environments: Lack of social support or a toxic workplace culture exacerbates both impostor phenomenon and burnout.
- Additional responsibilities: Being the “default parent” means even more mental load.
- The “Supermom” myth: Society loves a good “doing it all” narrative, which sets impossibly high standards. The pressure to excel at work while being a Pinterest-perfect mom creates a never-ending cycle of guilt and inadequacy.
- Gender bias: Research shows women are more likely to experience Imposter Syndrome than men, thanks to structural biases in the workplace. Working moms often feel scrutinized for choosing “career over kids” or vice versa.
- Invisible labor: From scheduling doctor’s appointments to remembering to pack soccer snacks, moms often bear the brunt of the mental load, which makes burnout inevitable.
It’s no wonder so many working moms feel trapped in a cycle of self-doubt, long hours, and emotional exhaustion.
How impostor syndrome shows up for working moms
Impostor syndrome has a unique way of sneaking into the minds of working moms. It doesn’t just whisper, “You’re not good enough.” It adds, “…and you’re probably failing at everything.” Thanks for that, brain. Here’s how it typically manifests:
1. What you think because of imposter syndrome
- “I’m not cut out for this.” Whether it’s managing a team at work or orchestrating a toddler’s meltdown-to-bedtime routine, impostor syndrome convinces moms that they’re winging it while everyone else has it all figured out. (Spoiler: No one has it all figured out.)
- “I have to prove I deserve this job.” Despite years of hard work and glowing performance reviews, impostor syndrome can make working moms feel like they need to overcompensate to justify their spot at the table.
- “I’m failing as a mom and an employee.” When you’re constantly pulled between personal life and professional life, it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough in either arena.
2. What you feel because of imposter syndrome
- Persistent guilt: Moms with impostor syndrome often feel guilty for not being at home more—and guilty for not giving work their undivided attention. It’s a lose-lose scenario that fuels emotional exhaustion.
- High levels of anxiety: Whether it’s double-checking emails at midnight or replaying a tense conversation with a family member, impostor syndrome keeps moms in a state of chronic stress.
- Feelings of inadequacy: Even when juggling a packed schedule like a pro, working moms might feel like they’re barely keeping their heads above water. Cue the soundtrack of self-doubt: “You should be doing more.”
3. What you do differently because of imposter syndrome
- Overwork to “prove” yourself: Working moms might log long hours or take on additional responsibilities they don’t have the bandwidth for, just to silence that nagging voice of inadequacy.
- Downplay your successes: Impostor syndrome convinces moms that their wins are due to luck, a team member’s support, or timing—never their own talent and hard work. “Sure, the project went well, but I got lucky with the client.”
- Avoid taking risks: Many working moms hesitate to go for a promotion, a leadership role, or even a new job because of the constant fear of failure. Better to stay in the comfort zone than risk exposing their “fraudulence,” right?
- Micromanage and over-prepare: Impostor syndrome often shows up as perfectionist tendencies, like spending hours proofreading a report or obsessing over every detail of a school bake sale (even though no one actually cares about the frosting shade).
Why this cycle feels so relentless
The pressures working moms face—balancing work lives and family responsibilities, managing high levels of stress, and meeting high standards in every sphere—create the perfect storm for impostor syndrome to thrive. Add in workplace environments that might not fully support working parents and a societal tendency to glorify the “Supermom” archetype, and it’s easy to see how these feelings of fraudulence persist.
But here’s the truth: No one is nailing it 100% of the time. That mom who shows up to school drop-off with perfectly braided hair and an enviable job? She probably feels like a fraud sometimes, too. It’s not about being flawless—it’s about giving yourself grace where it matters most.
The Science Says…
A study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science found that 70% of people experience Imposter Syndrome at some point, with women and minorities disproportionately affected. Burnout, according to the World Health Organization, arises from chronic workplace stress, but when you add unpaid domestic labor to the mix, it becomes a double whammy for working moms.
The five types of impostor syndrome (and how to tackle them)
Psychologist Valerie Young identified five subtypes of impostor syndrome. Let’s dive into each, with a therapeutic exercise to combat the negative voice in your head.
1. The Perfectionist
- Characteristics: Obsessive over details, afraid to delegate, and feels like nothing is ever “good enough.”
- Your inner dialogue: “If it’s not 100% flawless, I’ve failed. No exceptions.”
- Burnout Link: Perfectionists often work long hours trying to meet impossibly high standards, leading to emotional exhaustion. You’re stuck in an endless loop of striving for unattainable standards. Rest? Not in your vocabulary.
Therapeutic Exercise:
The “Good Enough” list
- Write down 3 things you completed that were “good enough” rather than perfect.
- Reflect: Did the world end because your toddler’s birthday cupcakes weren’t from scratch? (Spoiler: It didn’t.)
Evidence basis: Per Dr. Kristin Neff’s research on self-kindness, practicing self-compassion reduces stress and promotes resilience.
2. The Superwoman/Superman
- Characteristics: Feels like a fraud unless they’re juggling everything flawlessly. Struggles with work-life balance.
- Your inner dialogue: “If I don’t juggle 15 balls in the air, I’m failing everyone.”
- Burnout Link: This type often experiences chronic stress from taking on too much and rarely asking for help. You measure your worth by how much you accomplish, leading to chronic overextension
Therapeutic Exercise:
Delegate and celebrate
- List three tasks you’re currently doing that could be handed off (e.g., hiring a cleaning service or asking your partner to take over bedtime).
- Set a mantra: “Letting go is an act of strength, not weakness.”
- Write down 3 positive things that you have been able to do as a result of offloading these tasks.
Evidence basis: Studies on stress management by Dr. Brené Brown show that embracing vulnerability—including asking for help—leads to greater emotional well-being.
3. The Natural Genius
- Characteristics: Believes success should come easily; struggles when things require hard work or persistence.
- Your inner dialogue: “If I need to work hard or ask for help, I must not be smart enough.”
- Burnout Link: Unrealistic expectations of instant success create frustration and self-doubt.
Therapeutic Exercise:
Embrace the Learning Curve
- Pick one new skill (yoga, knitting, coding—whatever interests you) and commit to 10 minutes a day of messy, imperfect practice.
- Keep a journal of small wins, no matter how minor.
Evidence Basis: Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset shows that reframing challenges as opportunities for learning reduces feelings of inadequacy.
4. The Soloist
- Characteristics: Believes asking for help is a sign of weakness. Prefers to go it alone to prove their worth.
- Your inner dialogue: “If I can’t do it alone, I’m not competent.”
- Burnout Link: IYou reject support, leaving you isolated and overwhelmed.
Therapeutic Exercise:
The Connection Challenge
- Reach out to a friend, colleague, or family member once a week for advice or assistance, no matter how small the ask.
- Journal how it felt to rely on others—and notice if they were happy to help.
Evidence Basis: Social connection is a key buffer against burnout, according to research from the American Psychological Association.
5. The Expert
- Characteristics: Feels they must know everything before taking action. Avoids new roles or achievement-related tasks for fear of not being qualified.
- Your inner dialogue: “I need to know everything before I can even try.”
- Burnout Link: Constantly chasing “just one more qualification” leads to persistent self-doubt and anxiety disorders.
Therapeutic Exercise:
Action Before Expertise
- Identify one goal you’ve been procrastinating on due to “not knowing enough.”
- Take the smallest actionable step today (e.g., send an email).
Evidence Basis: Behavioral activation therapy, widely studied in cognitive-behavioral research, shows that small actions reduce paralysis and increase confidence.
Taking proactive steps
The best way to tackle impostor syndrome and burnout is by taking proactive steps to address the negative self-talk fueling both. A systematic review of workplace culture and high-achieving women suggests that building social support, addressing workplace environments, and prioritizing emotional health are key.
- At work: Seek feedback from team members and mentors, and embrace positive feedback without deflecting it.
- At home: Create boundaries to protect your work-life balance and carve out time for self-care.
- For yourself: Focus on small wins daily, and remember—success doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your emotional health.
Final Thoughts
To every working mom who feels like they’re drowning in self-doubt and to-do lists, here’s the truth: You’re already enough. Imposter Syndrome might be loud, but it doesn’t have to run the show. By recognizing the patterns, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion, you can reclaim your energy—and your joy.
And when in doubt, remember: Even Beyoncé probably has days when she doubts herself. (Okay, maybe not, but you get the idea.)
As always, if you have any questions please feel free to leave a question in the comments. There is a section on imposter syndrome in my book, The Burnout Doctor, due to be published in January 2025! Pre order from all good book retailers now.
Sources:
- Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice.
- Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself. Self and Identity.
- Young, V. (2011). The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women.
- Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
- World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an “Occupational Phenomenon.”