The Burnout Doctor

Doctoring burnt out working professionals to manage stress and achieve career success

Proven strategies to prevent and avoid burnout in 2025

Here’s exactly how you can avoid burnout in 2025.

Burnout isn’t new, but its causes and consequences are evolving. With the rise of remote work and hybrid setups, many professionals are grappling with unique challenges that impact their work-life balance. According to the World Health Organization, burnout is a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed, often leading to emotional exhaustion, reduced performance, and feelings of detachment.

Burnout is a multifaceted challenge influenced by both workplace factors and individual vulnerabilities. You can create a more positive work environment by addressing the six key drivers of burnout—control, fairness, values, workload, community, and rewards. Equally important is managing personal risks such as stress coping mechanisms, personality traits, neurodiversity, and mental health challenges. Proactive solutions like job crafting, time-blocking, gratitude journaling, and trauma-informed self-care are grounded in neuroscience and psychology, offering practical ways to build resilience and prevent emotional exhaustion. With these strategies, sustainable success and a balanced personal and professional life are within reach.

This guide will explore how to avoid burnout in 2025 by addressing the six work factors that most commonly contribute to it.  You’ll also learn effective strategies to successfully manage your risk of burnout.  Your goal?  To thrive both in your personal life and your professional roles.

About the author

Dr Claire Ashley is a doctor with years of experience helping professionals create positive work environments. Passionate about blending psychology, neuroscience, and practical solutions, she provides engaging online discussions, interactive workshops, and live online sessions to promote sustainable well-being.  Her first book, The Burnout Doctor, is being published internationally on 30th January 2025- pre-order your copy now by clicking here! 

The six work factors that cause burnout and how to manage them to avoid burnout in 2025

Discover the 6 work factors that cause burnout- and how to avoid them in 2025
Discover the 6 work factors that cause burnout- and how to avoid them in 2025

1. Lack of control

Feeling powerless in your current job—from unclear expectations or micromanagement—creates high-stress levels. This lack of autonomy increases the risk of burnout.

Proactive solution to avoid burnout in 2025: Incorporate “job crafting” into your routine. This strategy, backed by studies, involves adjusting how you complete tasks or interact with colleagues to better align with your strengths and values. For example, if you excel at mentoring team members, propose a peer specialist program to HR leaders.

Why it works: Job crafting enhances autonomy, which research shows reduces workplace stress and increases job satisfaction. By reshaping aspects of your role, you feel more empowered and engaged.

2. Unfair treatment at work

When employees perceive favoritism, inconsistent rules, or toxic work environments, their motivation plummets.

Proactive solution: Advocate for open communication and regular check-ins. Suggest using an anonymous engagement tool like Officevibe to gather feedback and promote fairness within your team.

Why it works: Open communication builds trust and ensures fairness by giving all staff members a voice. Regular feedback mechanisms highlight inequities early, improving employee morale and retention rates.

3. Misalignment of values

Working in a role that clashes with your core beliefs or personal goals breeds discontent and chronic stress.

Proactive solution: Identify your “non-negotiables” during a dedicated time of self-reflection. Then, communicate them with HR leaders to ensure your job responsibilities and company culture align with what matters most to you.

Why it works: Aligning personal values with workplace demands reduces cognitive dissonance, a known stressor. When employees work in environments that reflect their core beliefs, they feel more fulfilled and motivated.

4. Excessive workload

An overwhelming workload or constant pressure to meet deadlines leads to emotional exhaustion. 

Proactive solution: Practice time-blocking with a twist inspired by Cal Newport’s “Deep Work.” Dedicate your first two hours each morning to undistracted, high-priority tasks, and reserve afternoons for simpler tasks and regular breaks.

Why it works: Focusing on high-priority tasks during peak productivity hours helps you accomplish more in less time, decreasing the likelihood of emotional exhaustion. This method also ensures you incorporate recovery periods into your day, which combat the effects of long hours.

5. Lack of community

Feeling isolated at work reduces employee morale and increases signs of burnout. Social interactions are crucial for employee engagement and job satisfaction.

Proactive solution: Organize interactive workshops or live online sessions where staff members can collaborate and connect. Hybrid work models also benefit from virtual coffee breaks for informal chats.

Why it works: Building a sense of community boosts employee engagement and satisfaction. Positive social interactions reduce workplace stress and create an environment where team members feel valued.

6. Inadequate rewards

A lack of recognition—whether financial or emotional—leads to disengagement.

Proactive solution: Start a “recognition jar” initiative. Team members write down positive notes about peers’ contributions, which are read aloud during meetings to boost employee satisfaction and morale.

Why it works: Recognition activates the brain’s reward system, increasing dopamine levels and reinforcing positive behaviors. Feeling appreciated enhances job satisfaction and reduces signs of employee burnout.

Managing individual risks to avoid burnout in 2025

Discover how you can manage your stress better to avoid burnout in 2025
Discover how you can manage your stress better to avoid burnout in 2025

1. Coping with stress

Some stress management techniques work better than others, depending on the individual. Chronic stress often stems from poor coping habits.

Proactive solution to avoid burnout in 2025: Try the “5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique” during stressful moments. This mindfulness exercise helps reduce blood pressure and anxiety by focusing on your senses. This technique asks you to focus on 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.

Why it works: Grounding techniques interrupt spiraling thoughts by engaging your senses, which calms your nervous system and reduces symptoms of chronic stress.

2. Personality type

Perfectionists or individuals with high expectations for themselves often face greater risks of burnout.

Proactive solution: Use “compassionate self-talk.” Remind yourself, “Hard work is enough,” and celebrate small wins with a gratitude journal to combat unrealistic expectations.

Why it works: Self-compassion reduces the pressure of perfectionism and prevents burnout by shifting focus from shortcomings to achievements. Gratitude journaling rewires your brain to focus on positive experiences, fostering resilience.

3. Neurodiversity

Neurodivergent individuals may struggle with rigid workplace norms, increasing workplace stress.

Proactive solution: Request flexible schedules and advocate for inclusive tools and reasonable adjustments, which can help you manage life-work assignments and decrease burnout.

Why it works: Flexibility allows neurodivergent individuals to work during their most productive times, accommodating their unique needs. Tools like Trello provide visual organization, making complex tasks easier to manage.

4. Childhood trauma

Unresolved trauma may amplify symptoms of burnout due to heightened sensitivity to stress.

Proactive solution: Enroll in a trauma-informed online course or connect with mental health providers offering virtual counseling services.

Why it works: Trauma-informed approaches address underlying triggers that exacerbate workplace stress. Therapy and education empower you to manage emotions effectively and prevent burnout.

5. Current mental health problems

Existing issues like anxiety or depression magnify burnout’s impact.

Proactive solution: Dedicate time to regular mental health days outside of work. Use this opportunity to engage in self-care activities like nature walks or virtual therapy sessions. Please also speak to your doctor so that you can manage your current mental health problems effectively.

Why it works: Mental health days provide a break from constant pressure, giving your mind and body a chance to recover. Self-care activities lower stress levels and improve overall well-being.

6. Introversion

Introverts often feel drained by dual roles requiring extensive social interactions. 

Proactive solution: Set boundaries for screen time and social interactions. Schedule “no-meeting afternoons” to recharge without sacrificing employee well-being.

Why it works: Introverts recharge through solitude. Limiting overstimulation during peak energy-draining periods helps maintain their engagement and productivity.

7. Imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome feeds self-doubt, which can exacerbate workplace stress and burnout.

Proactive solution: Use the “fake it till you make it” strategy with a twist: set small, achievable goals that demonstrate your expertise, building confidence incrementally.

Why it works: Breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps creates a track record of success, countering feelings of inadequacy. Confidence builds over time as you achieve consistent wins.

8. Perfectionism

Perfectionism can lead to long hours and loss of motivation when outcomes fall short of high expectations.

Proactive solution: Adopt the “80% rule.” Stop tweaking projects once they’re “good enough” to maintain sustainable success and overall performance.

Why it works: The “80% rule” prevents you from overinvesting time and energy in diminishing returns. Letting go of unattainable standards reduces stress while still delivering quality results.

By understanding the psychology and neuroscience behind these solutions, you can integrate them into your daily life with confidence that they will make a difference.

Final thoughts on how to successfully avoid burnout in 2025

Burnout is a common challenge in today’s high-pressure work environments, but the good news is that it’s preventable. You can avoid burnout in 2025 by addressing the six core factors of workplace burnout and managing your risks. By using the solutions presented in this article, you can achieve both long-term success and sustainable well-being.

further reading

  1. Newport, C. (2016). Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World.
  2. World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an “occupational phenomenon”: International Classification of Diseases.

*some of the links in this article may be affiliate

Self-employment: the cause or cure for burnout in working moms?

Being a working mom is no small feat, and when you add self-employment to the mix, life can feel like a constant juggling act. On one hand, self-employed moms enjoy greater flexibility, the ability to create their schedules, and the possibility of escaping the corporate world’s rigidity. On the other hand, self-employed working moms face unique challenges that can increase stress levels, especially when trying to balance work time, family life, and personal health.  Moms often turn to self-employment to help ease burnout after struggling to balance the simultaneous demands of parenting and work.

is self-employment the cause or the cure for burnout in working moms?

It’s complicated:

The answer is that self-employment is both a cause of burnout, and the cure for it.

Whether self-employment is good or bad for your burnout risk is entirely dependent on your personal circumstances.

In this post, we’ll explore why self-employed working moms are particularly vulnerable to stress and burnout, and then uncover strategies to manage these pressures effectively. But, we’ll also dive into how self-employment can (paradoxically) also help moms recover from burnout and live a more balanced life.

Stuck in a job that’s burning you out and wondering if going self employed will help? By the end, you’ll have a clearer idea of whether self-employment is the right choice for you.

About the author:

Dr Claire is a burnout expert and mom of 2.  Her book first book, The Burnout Doctor, is being published in January 2025.  Pre-order your copy now!

The double-edged sword of self-employment for working moms

Why self-employment can increase stress levels

Let’s begin by talking about how being self-employed can increase stress levels for working moms. While being a self-employed mom comes with exciting benefits like greater flexibility and autonomy, it’s important to recognize the stressors that often accompany it:

  1. Financial uncertainty
    Self-employed individuals don’t have the steady paycheck of a full-time job. Add to that the pressure of covering expenses like child care, health insurance, and short-term disability insurance without employer support, and the stress can quickly mount. For working moms managing household budgets, the lack of a predictable income can be a major source of anxiety.
  2. Blurring boundaries between work and personal life
    Without a corporate structure or “official” work time, self-employed moms often work during family moments, school holidays, or even evening hours. A little corner office in the home might lack the separation needed to maintain a healthy work-life balance, leaving moms feeling they’re neither fully present at work nor home.
  3. Increased mental load
    Managing every aspect of your business—from accounting during tax time to building social media accounts—adds significant pressure. For working moms already responsible for the bulk of parental leave logistics, school pick-ups, and a seemingly endless to-do list, the additional business running can tip the scales toward burnout.
  4. Lack of support systems
    Self-employed people miss out on many corporate benefits, such as paid leave programs, employer-provided health insurance, and even coworkers to commiserate with. Self-employed mothers may feel isolated compared to their counterparts in the labor force.

Here’s an example to demonstrate how self employment can increase stress and burnout:

Example 1: Stress levels raised by self-employment

Name: Sarah

Job: Freelance graphic designer

Family and home setup: Sarah is a single mom of two young kids, aged 4 and 7, living in a small apartment in New York. She has no local family support and relies on paid child care. Her budget is tight, and her biggest concern is ensuring she has enough money to cover rent, child care, and health insurance.

Why self-employment increases her stress:

  • Financial instability: Sarah’s freelance income fluctuates dramatically from month to month, and she struggles to keep up with expenses.
  • Overwhelming workload: Since she has to manage all aspects of her business, including finding clients, invoicing, and marketing, her to-do list feels never-ending.
  • Blurred boundaries: With her kids home during school holidays and limited space for a dedicated home office, Sarah finds it challenging to focus on her work.
  • Isolation: As a self-employed individual, Sarah doesn’t have coworkers to lean on, leaving her feeling unsupported and alone in her challenges.

For Sarah, the financial and logistical demands of self-employment outweigh the benefits of flexibility, leaving her feeling more stressed than she was in her previous full-time job. Her stress levels are raised, and she is at risk of burnout. Here are some ideas to help her avoid burnout that would help any self-employed working. mom:

Practical strategies for managing stress and burnout when self-employed

Thankfully, self-employed moms don’t have to succumb to burnout. Here’s how to stay in the right mind zone and manage stress effectively:

  1. Set clear boundaries
    Create a ‘home-free’ work area or dedicated workspace to minimize distractions and separate work from family life.
  2. Prioritize self-care
    Schedule non-negotiable breaks for enough sleep, exercise, and quality time with loved ones. Organizing an achievable, doable list of priority items helps make room for these essential moments.
  3. Build a support network
    Whether through professional associations, nonprofit organizations, or other self-employed women, lean on a community for advice and support.
  4. Delegate where possible
    Outsource smaller pieces of your workload, such as hiring a freelance writer for marketing tasks or a project manager for administrative work.
  5. Stay financially prepared
    Create a financial buffer to navigate slower months, and explore private insurer plans for essential benefits like medical leave.

It is possible to manage stress effectively, and avoid burnout as a self-employed working mom.

However, whilst being self-employed can be very stressful for working moms (and could even lead to burnout), it can also help prevent burnout.

The paradox of self-employment: stressor and savior

Surprisingly, self-employment can also be a solution for working moms to recover from burnout. While it presents challenges, it offers something that many stressed moms desperately need: control over their lives.

Why self-employment can help reduce stress

  1. Greater flexibility
    The ability to create your schedule means you can attend to family priorities like maternity leave or school holidays without asking for permission or sacrificing income.
  2. More meaningful work
    Many moms find that running their businesses aligns with their passions, giving them a sense of purpose missing in the corporate world.
  3. Freedom from the “motherhood penalty”
    Self-employed moms escape the subtle (and sometimes overt) biases that working mothers face in the traditional labor market.
  4. Customizable workload
    Unlike a rigid full-time job, self-employment allows moms to work part-time, in smaller pieces, or during hours that suit their family life.

But what about you?  How do you know if self employment is the right chose for your stress levels as a working mother?  Take the quiz to find out! 

Quiz: Will self-employment ease your stress?

Take this short quiz to see if self-employment might help you reduce stress:

1. Do you feel that your current job allows you enough time for family priorities?

  • Yes / No

2. Do you feel emotionally drained at the end of your workday?

  • Yes / No

3. Do you thrive on independence and decision-making?

  • Yes / No

4. Are you financially prepared to handle unpredictable income for at least six months?

  • Yes / No

5. Do you have access to child care or a supportive partner/family?

  • Yes / No

If you answered “No” to questions 1 and 4, but “Yes” to 3, self-employment might be a good idea for reducing your stress.

How self-employment can help manage stress levels

Self-employment offers unique benefits that can directly address some of the root causes of stress and burnout for working moms. Here’s how it can help:

  1. Control over your schedule
    • Benefit: Self-employed moms have the power to set thwie hours, allowing them to work during their most productive times or fit work around family responsibilities.
    • Why it works (science backed!): Autonomy in scheduling significantly reduces work-related stress.
  2. Alignment with personal values
    • Benefit: Running your own business allows you to pursue projects that align with your passions and goals.
    • Why it works (science backed!): When work feels meaningful, it becomes less draining and more fulfilling. This emotional alignment can help stave off burnout.
  3. Avoiding the corporate “motherhood penalty”
    • Benefit: Self-employed mothers sidestep biases against working moms, such as being overlooked for promotions or assignments.
    • Why it works: Eliminating the psychological toll of workplace discrimination creates a healthier mental space.
  4. Opportunity for better work-life balance
    • Benefit: Self-employment allows you to integrate work into family life more seamlessly. For example, you can take breaks for school events or personal milestones.
    • Why it works: Flexibility means you’re more likely to meet your own needs and those of your family without the constant tug-of-war between roles.
  5. Scalable workload
    • Benefit: Self-employed individuals can tailor the amount of work they take on, scaling it up or down based on life circumstances.
    • Why it works: The ability to lighten your load during high-stress periods (like a new baby or school holidays) can prevent overwhelm.

As you can see, self employment can both help and cause burnout- but whether it’s the right choice for you is entirely dependent on your personal circumstances.

Practical advice: Is self-employment better for your stress levels?

Transitioning to self-employment isn’t a cure-all for stress, but it can offer solutions to specific challenges. Use these steps to determine if it’s the right move for you:

  1. Identify your stress triggers
    • Write down what’s causing the most stress in your current role: lack of flexibility, long hours, an unsupportive work environment, or financial instability.
  2. Compare your needs with self-employment benefits
    • If your stressors revolve around a rigid schedule or a lack of autonomy, self-employment might be a great fit. However, if you thrive on structured environments or struggle with financial uncertainty, self-employment might increase your stress.
  3. Evaluate your support system
    • Do you have access to reliable child care or support from a partner? Self-employment works best when there’s a foundation of support for unexpected challenges.
  4. Test your adaptability
    • Consider how comfortable you are with uncertainty. Can you handle variable income and unforeseen work challenges without feeling overwhelmed?
  5. Seek advice from self-employed moms
    • Talk to other self-employed women in similar life stages. Their experiences can provide valuable insights into the day-to-day realities of balancing motherhood and business ownership.

By thoughtfully weighing these factors, you can make a well-informed decision that aligns with your unique situation. Here’s an example to help you work this out:

Example 2: Stress levels decreased by self-employment

Name: Emily

Job: Boutique owner and part-time freelance writer

Family and home setup: Emily lives in a suburban home in New Jersey with her spouse and three kids, ages 2, 5, and 10. Her partner has a stable full-time job with benefits, and they share parenting duties. Emily’s mother also lives nearby and helps with child care.

Why self-employment decreases her stress:

  • Flexible schedule: Emily can schedule work during school hours and nap times, leaving her evenings free for family dinners and personal life.
  • Aligned priorities: Emily loves the creative freedom of running her boutique and writing about topics she’s passionate about.
  • Shared responsibilities: Her spouse’s steady income provides peace of mind, reducing the pressure to generate a significant income every month.
  • Better work-life balance: Emily has created a well-organized schedule that allows her to attend school events and take personal days when needed.

For Emily, self-employment is an empowering choice that allows her to create a harmonious balance between her work, family, and personal goals.

If you’re still a little stuck about whether self-employment will help your stress levels then these journal prompts will allow for some deeper reflection.

Journal questions for self-reflection

  1. What are my primary sources of stress in my current job?
    • Is it financial pressure, time constraints, lack of flexibility, or something else?
  2. What aspects of my life would I like to improve through self-employment?
    • More time with family, greater autonomy, or the ability to pursue work I’m passionate about?
  3. Do I have the financial stability to handle the unpredictability of self-employment?
    • If not, what steps can I take to build a safety net?
  4. How much support do I have at home?
    • Can my partner, family, or childcare providers help with parenting or household tasks?
  5. Am I comfortable with multitasking and handling multiple roles (e.g., business owner, marketer, accountant)?
    • If not, could outsourcing or seeking professional help ease this burden?
  6. How do I feel about working alone?
    • Would I miss the camaraderie of coworkers, or do I thrive in independent environments?
  7. What steps can I take to test self-employment before fully committing?
    • Could I start a side hustle or reduce hours in my current job to experiment with being my own boss?
  8. What values or priorities matter most to me?
    • Do I value financial security over flexibility, or is pursuing meaningful work more important than a predictable income?

Final thoughts

Self-employment is not a one-size-fits-all solution. For some working moms, it can intensify stress and burnout, but for others, it can be the key to greater flexibility and life satisfaction. By carefully weighing the pros and cons, using tools like this quiz, and following practical advice, you can determine if becoming your own boss by running your own business or going self-employed is a good idea for your unique circumstances and your mental health. 

If you enjoyed this article, you’ll love Dr Claire’s weekly email newsletter, The Phoenix. Sign up here.

The Stress Continuum Model: a first call to care

The stress continuum model is a powerful, evidence-based tool that helps you understand your stress levels at any given time. Stress is unavoidable, especially for working moms juggling careers, kids, and everything in between. But not all stress is bad! Originally developed by the US Marine Corps to address stress in combat settings, the stress continuum model is now used by individuals, families, and organizations to monitor and manage stress before it becomes overwhelming.  In this article you’ll discover what the stress continuum is, why it’s such a great tool for working moms, how to use it in your daily life, and what to do immediately depending on which stage you’re in. Read on to take the first steps to managing your stress before it starts to manage you!

About the author:

Dr Claire Ashley is a writer, mental health advocate, and mom of two who understands the daily challenges of juggling work, parenting, and self-care. With a background in creating relatable, evidence-based content, she’s passionate about providing working moms practical tools to manage stress and build more balanced, fulfilling lives. Her debut book, The Burnout Doctor, is being published on January 30th 2025. You can preorder at all good bookstores. Alternatively, click to order on Amazon (aff link).  

What is the stress continuum?

The stress continuum model categorizes stress into four zones:

Green Zone (ready): You’re calm, focused, and in control. Stress is manageable, and you’re thriving.

Yellow Zone (reacting): You’re experiencing stress reactions, like irritability, trouble sleeping, or mild anxiety. Stress is present but not debilitating.

Orange Zone (injured): You’re dealing with stress injuries, such as prolonged anxiety, mood swings, or physical exhaustion.

Red Zone (ill): Chronic stress has led to major depression, substance abuse, or other serious mental health issues requiring immediate intervention.

This model offers a common language to discuss psychological health and stress, helping you identify when your stress is creeping into dangerous territory.

Below is an infographic of the stress continuum. Feel free to pin it, or copy and paste into your notes app for easy reference! Image credit: https://cohcwcovidsupport.org

A colour coded infographic explains the stress continuum model. Starting with a green column (thriving), moving to yellow (surviving), orange (struggling) and red (in crisis).

Why the stress continuum is such a great tool for working moms

1. It helps you catch stress early.
The stress continuum provides clear markers to identify when stress is no longer manageable. For example, if you notice you’ve been snapping at your kids or struggling with delivery time at work, it’s a sign you’re moving from the green zone to the yellow zone.

2. It’s simple to use.
The model is visual and intuitive, making it easy to monitor your stress on a regular basis. You don’t need to be a therapist to understand where you stand.

3. It’s actionable.
Once you know your zone, you can take steps to get back to psychological health before things spiral.

Whilst it was originally developed to help service members, this tool isn’t just for combat settings—it’s a lifesaver for anyone facing chronic stress, including working moms. By using the stress continuum, you can spot unmanaged stress early and take steps to prevent burnout. It’s like having a personal radar for your mental health!

How to use the stress continuum in your daily life

1. Check in regularly.
Set a reminder to assess your stress levels daily or weekly. Ask yourself:

  • Am I calm and focused? (Green Zone)
  • Am I starting to feel overwhelmed? (Yellow Zone)
  • Am I constantly stressed or emotionally drained? (Orange Zone)
  • Am I completely burned out? (Red Zone)

2. Track patterns over time.
Use a journal or app to log your zones each day. If you notice frequent shifts into the orange zone, it’s time to address the underlying causes of your stress.

3. Discuss with family members/friends
The stress continuum model isn’t just for you—it can also help your partner, children and friends recognize their stress levels. Sharing this common language makes it easier to support each other during stressful situations.

Immediate actions for each zone on the stress continuum

Depending on where you fall on the stress continuum, here are practical ways to manage your stress effectively:

Green Zone: Keep thriving
  1. Stick to routines: Maintain habits like exercise, healthy eating, and quality sleep to stay balanced.
  2. Prioritize self-care: Take time for hobbies, mindfulness, or even a yoga class.
  3. Build strong relationships: Connect with friends and family to reinforce your support network.
Yellow Zone: Slow down
  1. Identify triggers: Pinpoint what’s pushing you into the yellow zone (e.g., too many household responsibilities or work deadlines).
  2. Practice relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, short walks, or meditation can lower stress.
  3. Set boundaries: Say “no” to extra tasks that aren’t a core function of your priorities.
Orange Zone: Take action
  1. Seek professional help: A therapist or counselor can help address stress injuries before they escalate.
  2. Reevaluate commitments: Reduce your load by delegating tasks or stepping back from nonessential activities.
  3. Tap into your community: Lean on your marine spouse friends, family members, or a support group for guidance.
Red Zone: Get immediate support
  1. Contact a professional: Reach out to a mental health professional for evaluation and treatment.
  2. Inform trusted people: Let your partner, family, or boss know you’re struggling so they can help.
  3. Avoid harmful coping mechanisms: Replace unhealthy habits like alcohol with healthier outlets, such as journaling or calling a friend.

Final thoughts on the stress continuum

As a working mom, your plate is always full, and stress is inevitable. The stress continuum model gives you a simple tool to monitor your stress levels, respond effectively, and stay in control. Whether you’re in the green zone or approaching the red zone, the key is to check in with yourself, take proactive steps, and seek professional help when needed.

By making this part of your routine, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the ups and downs of work, family, and everything in between.

If you enjoyed this article, you’ll love my weekly email newsletter, The Phoenix. Packed full of advice to help doctor you to manage stress, overcome burnout, and create an amazing career (but without the bro BS!). Click here to sign up now.

As always, I am happy to answer any comments you have about the stress continuum in the comments!

References

  1. US Marine Corps Operational Stress Control and Readiness (OSCAR) Program. Stress Continuum Model. Retrieved from https://www.marines.mil/portals/1/Publications/MCTP%203-30E%20Formerly%20MCRP%206-11C.pdf 
  2. American Psychological Association Stress Reactions and Mental Health. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/topics/stress

How to overcome perfectionism and burnout as a working mom

Perfectionism is the relentless pursuit of unattainably high standards, often fueled by internal pressures and societal expectations. For a working mom, this manifests in various ways: striving for a spotless home, preparing Instagram-worthy meals, ensuring young children excel in every activity, and climbing the corporate ladder—all while being a “perfect mom.”  This intense drive to meet unrealistic expectations can result in feelings of failure, even when you’re doing your absolute best. Social media often amplifies these pressures, showcasing picture-perfect families that create a false sense of what being a “good mom” looks like. The symptoms of mom burnout—physical exhaustion, emotional health struggles, and a pervasive sense of “not enough time”—are often rooted in the inability to let go of perfectionism.  

In this article, you can expect to learn how perfectionism shows up for working moms, its impact, the Perfectionist Cycle how to break it, and how perfectionism is linked to burnout.  Finally, you’ll learn 5 practical ways you can successfully overcome perfectionism in your daily life, and feel less stressed!  

About the author

Dr Claire Ashley is a passionate advocate for working moms and a soon-to-be-published author and public speaker specializing in stress management, burnout, and work-life balance. With personal experiences as a mother navigating societal pressures and professional challenges, she combines empathy with evidence-based advice to support moms striving for healthier, happier lives.

You can pre-order her debut book, The Burnout Doctor, from all good bookstores now!  

How perfectionism shows up for working moms

Perfectionism is a mindset characterized by setting excessively high standards and striving for flawlessness, often accompanied by critical self-evaluation. For working moms, perfectionism can be a double-edged sword: while it may drive them to excel in their careers and personal lives, it often leads to burnout, guilt, and dissatisfaction when those standards feel unattainable.  Let’s dive into what it feels like to experience perfectionism now: 

1. Thoughts:
Perfectionist working moms often believe they must be the perfect parent and employee simultaneously. This might sound like:

  • “If I’m not doing it all, I’m failing.”
  • “There’s a right way to do everything, and I need to find it.”
  • “Other moms seem to manage it better than I do.”

Society often reinforces these thoughts through expectations from workplaces, social media, and family dynamics.

2. Feelings:
The emotional toll of perfectionism can manifest as:

  • Anxiety over incomplete tasks on your to-do list
  • Guilt for prioritizing work over child care or vice versa
  • Resentment about unmet high expectations, either their own or others

In some cases, these feelings can escalate to mental health challenges like postpartum depression or panic attacks, particularly when moms feel they are constantly falling short.

3. Actions:
Perfectionism impacts behavior, often leading to:

  • Over-committing at work and home, leaving not enough hours for rest
  • Micromanaging household responsibilities to maintain control
  • Avoiding hard conversations about workload or boundaries
  • Using unhelpful coping mechanisms like having a glass of wine (or several!), or stress-eating

If this sounds like you, read on! 

The impact of perfectionism on working moms

Mental and emotional health

Constantly chasing perfection can deplete emotional reserves, leaving little space for joy or creativity. This may lead to chronic stress, which affects physical health, sleep quality, and resilience.

Time management challenges

Perfectionism often means spending excessive time on tasks that don’t align with a mom’s core values. For example, an hour perfecting a birthday cake might steal precious moments that could have been spent fostering strong relationships with their child or partner.

Work-life balance struggles

Perfectionism can cause working moms to view their dual roles as competing rather than complementary. Whether you’re working full-time or part-time, these moms often feel torn between achieving career success and being present at home.

The Perfectionist Cycle: how it traps you

Breaking the perfectionist cycle isn’t about lowering standards—it’s about choosing balance, self-care, and joy over the endless pursuit of "perfect."
Breaking the perfectionist cycle

Perfectionism is often fueled by the belief that achieving a lofty goal will finally bring relief, validation, or peace of mind. Instead, what typically happens is the perfectionist cycle:

  1. Unrealistic expectations: Setting impossibly high standards for yourself, whether at work, at home, or in parenting.
  2. Intense effort: Pouring immense time and energy into meeting these standards, often at the cost of physical and emotional health.
  3. Momentary achievement: Reaching the goal, but finding only fleeting satisfaction.
  4. Self-criticism: Instead of celebrating success, noticing minor flaws or ways you “could have done better.”
  5. Raising the bar: Setting an even higher standard for the next goal, restarting the cycle.

For working moms, this cycle is everywhere: striving for a spotless home, meeting every family obligation, excelling in a demanding job, or trying to be a “perfect mom” who never misses a soccer game or bedtime story. The problem is that achievement doesn’t break the cycle. It feeds it. Each success only raises the stakes, increasing internal pressures and perpetuating the sense of “never enough.”

Why achievement doesn’t satisfy perfectionists

For perfectionists, the satisfaction of reaching a goal is overshadowed by the focus on perceived flaws and the next challenge. This is because perfectionism isn’t about the goal but the fear of failure, inadequacy, or judgment. External achievements can’t fix the internal fear or need for control that drives perfectionism. Instead, chasing perfection leaves moms physically exhausted, emotionally depleted, and at risk of parental burnout.

What breaks the perfectionist cycle if it’s not achievement or success?

The key to breaking free is letting go of perfectionism and embracing being “good enough.” This requires a mindset shift prioritizing self-compassion, personal growth, and aligning with core values rather than external validation. Here’s how working moms can achieve this:

  1. Practice self-compassion: Replace harsh self-criticism with kindness. Treat yourself as you would a close friend.
  2. Redefine success: Focus on progress, connection, and meaningful moments rather than flawless results.
  3. Set healthy boundaries: Learn to say no to unrealistic expectations, whether from yourself, family members, or societal pressures.
  4. Focus on emotional health: Prioritize personal time, stress management, and activities that nourish your well-being.
  5. Celebrate small victories: Shift from chasing big achievements to appreciating the small steps and daily wins that reflect your hard work and love.

Working moms can take the first step by challenging the belief that their worth is tied to achievement. For instance, instead of striving for a spotless home, you might decide that a lived-in home filled with love is more meaningful.  By building a support system, learning to ask for help, and practicing gratitude for what you’ve already achieved, you can finally step off the hamster wheel of perfectionism.

Breaking the perfectionist cycle isn’t about lowering standards—it’s about choosing balance, self-care, and joy over the endless pursuit of “perfect.”

How perfectionism leads to burnout

Burnout occurs when stress levels reach a breaking point, and for working moms, perfectionism is a key contributor. Here’s how perfectionism creates a vicious cycle leading to mommy burnout:

  1. Unrealistic standards: Perfectionism sets moms up to feel like failures when you can’t do it all.
  2. Excessive workload: Household chores, family obligations, and professional life pile up, creating mental and physical exhaustion.
  3. Neglected boundaries: Many working moms have a hard time saying no, and overcommitting in your personal and professional lives.
  4. Depleted resources: Without proper stress management, moms reach their breaking point, experiencing symptoms of burnout like fatigue, irritability, and a loss of joy in daily life.

Recognizing signs of burnout

  • Constant physical exhaustion that isn’t alleviated by rest
  • Increased feelings of mom guilt or inadequacy
  • A sense of detachment from family members, especially young children
  • Loss of motivation in professional or personal growth
  • Persistent stress or anxiety, even at the end of the day

So, managing any perfectionism that you’re experiencing isn’t just about making how you think, feel, and act feel easier and less stressful- it’ll also help you to avoid burnout. 

Let’s move on to think about how you can achieve this! 

5 practical ways working moms can overcome perfectionism in their daily lives

5 practical but life-changing ways working moms can overcome perfectionism in their daily lives. Reframe “perfect” as “aligned with your core values” Challenge your inner critic with real-time statistics Embrace “good enough” parenting Practice self-compassion instead of guilt Seek practical support and professional help Read on to discover more and take your first steps towards a life free of perfectionism
5 practical but life-changing ways working moms can overcome perfectionism in their daily lives

Let’s explore five realistic, research-backed ways to overcome perfectionism, grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and other evidence-based approaches.

1. Reframe “perfect” as “aligned with your core values”

Perfectionism often traps us into chasing an unattainable “right way” of doing things—whether at work or home. Instead, focus on what aligns with your core values.

  • Ask yourself: What truly matters to me as a mom and as a professional?
    For example, if spending quality time with your kids is a priority, remind yourself that building Lego towers or chatting over dinner is far more valuable than meticulously cleaning the house.

Practical tip:

Write down your top three values—such as connection, growth, or health—and keep them visible. Use them as a compass to decide where to invest your time and energy.

2. Challenge your inner critic with real-time statistics

Your inner perfectionist thrives on exaggeration: “I never do enough!” or “I’m a bad mom because I missed the bake sale.” Combat these thoughts with real-time statistics.

  • Look at your day objectively. Did you complete a new project at work? Did you read to your child before bed? These are sure signs you’re showing up in meaningful ways.

Practical tip:

Keep a journal of your daily wins—big and small. Seeing your accomplishments on paper can provide a sense of accomplishment and reduce feelings of inadequacy.

3. Embrace “good enough” parenting

There’s no such thing as a perfect time or a perfect sense of balance between work and motherhood. Psychologists call this the “good enough parent” principle—accepting that your love and care are what truly make you a good mother, not your ability to do it all.

  • Remember: Kids don’t need perfect primary caregivers; they need present, responsive, and loving ones.

Practical tip:

When you’re tempted to overdo it (like staying up all night to craft the “perfect” birthday party), pause and ask: Will this effort align with my child’s needs—or my perfectionist expectations?

4. Practice self-compassion instead of guilt

Feeling guilty is almost a default setting for individual moms trying to juggle everything. Instead of beating yourself up, practice self-compassion. Studies show that self-compassion reduces stress and increases resilience.

  • Replace negative self-talk with kindness: “I’m doing the best I can with the resources I have.”

Practical tip:

When you feel guilt creeping in (e.g., for working late or taking time for yourself), treat yourself as you would a friend: would you berate them or offer understanding?

5. Seek practical support and professional help

Perfectionism often worsens in the face of a lack of support. Whether it’s societal expectations or personal pressure, no one can tackle everything alone.

  • Consider enlisting practical support, such as a babysitter, meal delivery service, or a therapist. Many American moms have found a positive impact from professional guidance, particularly with CBT techniques to reframe perfectionist thoughts.

Practical tip:

Take advantage of your community, whether that’s swapping help with other moms or exploring professional help like therapy. Seeking support is not a sign of failure—it’s a sign of strength.

Final thoughts: permit yourself to live a beautiful, imperfect life

Perfectionism may whisper that there’s a right time and best way to do everything.  But the truth is that perfection isn’t the goal. The goal is connection, joy, and living in alignment with your values. For working moms, the last thing they need is more pressure. By embracing imperfection, prioritizing wisely, and seeking support, moms can find balance and peace in their beautifully imperfect lives.

As working moms, we’re told we can “have it all,” but perfectionism turns that promise into a burden. Worse, perfectionism and burnout often co-exist and feed into each other. By embracing strategies like aligning with your values, practicing self-compassion, and seeking support, you can create a beautiful life that’s meaningful, messy, and completely your own.

If you have any questions please feel free to leave them in the comments.  I’ll answer each one personally. 

Plus- if you enjoyed this article then you’ll love my weekly newsletter, The Phoenix.  The Phoenix doctors working mothers to overcome stress, prevent burnout, and create careers that work for them.  Sign up here.

References/Further reading

  1. American Psychological Association. (2021). The impact of parental burnout. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/10/cover-parental-burnout
  2. Mayo Clinic. (2023). Job burnout: How to spot it and take action. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/burnout/art-20046642
  3. Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2022). Rising parental expectations linked to perfectionism in college students. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2022/03/parental-expectations-perfectionism
  4. American Psychological Association. (2021). Understanding Perfectionism. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2011/perfectionism
  5. Harris, R. (2009). ACT Made Simple: An Easy-to-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. New Harbinger Publications.

How to overcome imposter syndrome and burnout

If you’ve ever found yourself staring at an email draft for an hour because your inner voice insists it’s not good enough, or if you constantly feel like you’re just one mistake away from being exposed as a fraud, you’re not alone. For working moms juggling career ambitions, emotional health, and family life, impostor syndrome is the uninvited guest who often crashes the party. Pair that with burnout, and it’s a cocktail of chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and a persistent cycle of self-doubt.

Let’s break this down: in this article, you will learn what impostor syndrome is, why it’s tied to burnout (especially for working moms), the five subtypes of impostor syndrome, and therapeutic exercises tailored to each. Spoiler: there’s hope—and humor—along the way.

About the author

As a doctor and burnout expert, I’ve helped countless high-achieving women navigate impostor syndrome and reclaim joy in their work lives. I know firsthand the toll long hours and constant fear can take.  Handing back my membership of the Imposter Syndrome Club formed a crucial part of my burnout recovery.  My mission?  To arm you with evidence-based tools so you can thrive—not just survive. 

What is impostor syndrome?

Impostor syndrome (or impostor phenomenon) describes the persistent self-doubt and feelings of fraudulence experienced by high-achieving individuals, even in the face of objective success. It’s the “I don’t deserve to be here” mantra, despite clear evidence that you do.

Signs of impostor syndrome include:

  • Negative self-talk, like “I only got lucky” or “They’ll figure out I don’t belong here.”
  • Fear of failure and constant fear of being exposed as a fraud.
  • An unhealthy fixation on high standards and perfectionist tendencies.

Impostor syndrome is not just about you—external factors like workplace culture, family background, and systemic biases can fuel it. The systematic review of impostor phenomenon research consistently highlights its high prevalence among minority groups, medical workers, and knowledge workers, making it a hot topic in professional life and beyond.

The link between impostor syndrome and burnout

Impostor syndrome and burnout are toxic besties—they feed off each other in destructive ways. When you’re stuck in the impostor mindset, you overcompensate with long hours, additional responsibilities, and an obsessive need to prove yourself. This hard work can lead to high levels of stress, emotional exhaustion, and ultimately, burnout.

But imposter syndrome isn’t just a toxic friend to burnout, it’s also known to be a risk factor for it.  Put simply, you’re more likely to burn out if you have Imposter Syndrome.

Burnout is more than just fatigue; it’s a state of chronic stress that can cause mental health symptoms like anxiety disorders, low self-esteem, and physical exhaustion. Here’s the kicker: because burnout can amplify feelings of inadequacy, it keeps the impostor cycle spinning.

Working moms are especially at risk. Why?

  • Competing priorities: Balancing professional life, personal life, and family responsibilities can create high levels of anxiety.
  • High standards: Many working moms hold themselves to perfectionist tendencies at home and work.
  • Workplace environments: Lack of social support or a toxic workplace culture exacerbates both impostor phenomenon and burnout.
  • Additional responsibilities: Being the “default parent” means even more mental load.
  • The “Supermom” myth: Society loves a good “doing it all” narrative, which sets impossibly high standards. The pressure to excel at work while being a Pinterest-perfect mom creates a never-ending cycle of guilt and inadequacy.
  • Gender bias: Research shows women are more likely to experience Imposter Syndrome than men, thanks to structural biases in the workplace. Working moms often feel scrutinized for choosing “career over kids” or vice versa.
  • Invisible labor: From scheduling doctor’s appointments to remembering to pack soccer snacks, moms often bear the brunt of the mental load, which makes burnout inevitable.

It’s no wonder so many working moms feel trapped in a cycle of self-doubt, long hours, and emotional exhaustion.

How impostor syndrome shows up for working moms

Impostor syndrome has a unique way of sneaking into the minds of working moms. It doesn’t just whisper, “You’re not good enough.” It adds, “…and you’re probably failing at everything.” Thanks for that, brain. Here’s how it typically manifests:

1. What you think because of imposter syndrome

  • “I’m not cut out for this.” Whether it’s managing a team at work or orchestrating a toddler’s meltdown-to-bedtime routine, impostor syndrome convinces moms that they’re winging it while everyone else has it all figured out. (Spoiler: No one has it all figured out.)
  • “I have to prove I deserve this job.” Despite years of hard work and glowing performance reviews, impostor syndrome can make working moms feel like they need to overcompensate to justify their spot at the table.
  • “I’m failing as a mom and an employee.” When you’re constantly pulled between personal life and professional life, it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough in either arena.

2. What you feel because of imposter syndrome

  • Persistent guilt: Moms with impostor syndrome often feel guilty for not being at home more—and guilty for not giving work their undivided attention. It’s a lose-lose scenario that fuels emotional exhaustion.
  • High levels of anxiety: Whether it’s double-checking emails at midnight or replaying a tense conversation with a family member, impostor syndrome keeps moms in a state of chronic stress.
  • Feelings of inadequacy: Even when juggling a packed schedule like a pro, working moms might feel like they’re barely keeping their heads above water. Cue the soundtrack of self-doubt: “You should be doing more.”

3. What you do differently because of imposter syndrome

  • Overwork to “prove” yourself: Working moms might log long hours or take on additional responsibilities they don’t have the bandwidth for, just to silence that nagging voice of inadequacy.
  • Downplay your successes: Impostor syndrome convinces moms that their wins are due to luck, a team member’s support, or timing—never their own talent and hard work. “Sure, the project went well, but I got lucky with the client.”
  • Avoid taking risks: Many working moms hesitate to go for a promotion, a leadership role, or even a new job because of the constant fear of failure. Better to stay in the comfort zone than risk exposing their “fraudulence,” right?
  • Micromanage and over-prepare: Impostor syndrome often shows up as perfectionist tendencies, like spending hours proofreading a report or obsessing over every detail of a school bake sale (even though no one actually cares about the frosting shade).

Why this cycle feels so relentless

The pressures working moms face—balancing work lives and family responsibilities, managing high levels of stress, and meeting high standards in every sphere—create the perfect storm for impostor syndrome to thrive. Add in workplace environments that might not fully support working parents and a societal tendency to glorify the “Supermom” archetype, and it’s easy to see how these feelings of fraudulence persist.

But here’s the truth: No one is nailing it 100% of the time. That mom who shows up to school drop-off with perfectly braided hair and an enviable job? She probably feels like a fraud sometimes, too. It’s not about being flawless—it’s about giving yourself grace where it matters most.

The Science Says…

A study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science found that 70% of people experience Imposter Syndrome at some point, with women and minorities disproportionately affected. Burnout, according to the World Health Organization, arises from chronic workplace stress, but when you add unpaid domestic labor to the mix, it becomes a double whammy for working moms.

The five types of impostor syndrome (and how to tackle them)

Psychologist Valerie Young identified five subtypes of impostor syndrome. Let’s dive into each, with a therapeutic exercise to combat the negative voice in your head.

1. The Perfectionist

  • Characteristics: Obsessive over details, afraid to delegate, and feels like nothing is ever “good enough.”
  • Your inner dialogue: “If it’s not 100% flawless, I’ve failed. No exceptions.”
  • Burnout Link: Perfectionists often work long hours trying to meet impossibly high standards, leading to emotional exhaustion.  You’re stuck in an endless loop of striving for unattainable standards. Rest? Not in your vocabulary.

Therapeutic Exercise:

The “Good Enough” list

  • Write down 3 things you completed that were “good enough” rather than perfect.
  • Reflect: Did the world end because your toddler’s birthday cupcakes weren’t from scratch? (Spoiler: It didn’t.)

Evidence basis: Per Dr. Kristin Neff’s research on self-kindness, practicing self-compassion reduces stress and promotes resilience.

2. The Superwoman/Superman

  • Characteristics: Feels like a fraud unless they’re juggling everything flawlessly. Struggles with work-life balance.
  • Your inner dialogue: “If I don’t juggle 15 balls in the air, I’m failing everyone.”
  • Burnout Link: This type often experiences chronic stress from taking on too much and rarely asking for help.  You measure your worth by how much you accomplish, leading to chronic overextension

Therapeutic Exercise:

Delegate and celebrate

  • List three tasks you’re currently doing that could be handed off (e.g., hiring a cleaning service or asking your partner to take over bedtime).
  • Set a mantra: “Letting go is an act of strength, not weakness.”
  • Write down 3 positive things that you have been able to do as a result of offloading these tasks. 

Evidence basis: Studies on stress management by Dr. Brené Brown show that embracing vulnerability—including asking for help—leads to greater emotional well-being.

3. The Natural Genius

  • Characteristics: Believes success should come easily; struggles when things require hard work or persistence.
  • Your inner dialogue: “If I need to work hard or ask for help, I must not be smart enough.”
  • Burnout Link: Unrealistic expectations of instant success create frustration and self-doubt.

Therapeutic Exercise:

Embrace the Learning Curve

  • Pick one new skill (yoga, knitting, coding—whatever interests you) and commit to 10 minutes a day of messy, imperfect practice.
  • Keep a journal of small wins, no matter how minor.

Evidence Basis: Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset shows that reframing challenges as opportunities for learning reduces feelings of inadequacy.

4. The Soloist

  • Characteristics: Believes asking for help is a sign of weakness. Prefers to go it alone to prove their worth.
  • Your inner dialogue: “If I can’t do it alone, I’m not competent.”
  • Burnout Link: IYou reject support, leaving you isolated and overwhelmed.

Therapeutic Exercise:

The Connection Challenge

  • Reach out to a friend, colleague, or family member once a week for advice or assistance, no matter how small the ask.
  • Journal how it felt to rely on others—and notice if they were happy to help.

Evidence Basis: Social connection is a key buffer against burnout, according to research from the American Psychological Association.

5. The Expert

  • Characteristics: Feels they must know everything before taking action. Avoids new roles or achievement-related tasks for fear of not being qualified.
  • Your inner dialogue: “I need to know everything before I can even try.”
  • Burnout Link: Constantly chasing “just one more qualification” leads to persistent self-doubt and anxiety disorders.

Therapeutic Exercise:

Action Before Expertise

  • Identify one goal you’ve been procrastinating on due to “not knowing enough.”
  • Take the smallest actionable step today (e.g., send an email).

Evidence Basis: Behavioral activation therapy, widely studied in cognitive-behavioral research, shows that small actions reduce paralysis and increase confidence.

Taking proactive steps

The best way to tackle impostor syndrome and burnout is by taking proactive steps to address the negative self-talk fueling both. A systematic review of workplace culture and high-achieving women suggests that building social support, addressing workplace environments, and prioritizing emotional health are key.

  • At work: Seek feedback from team members and mentors, and embrace positive feedback without deflecting it.
  • At home: Create boundaries to protect your work-life balance and carve out time for self-care.
  • For yourself: Focus on small wins daily, and remember—success doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your emotional health.

Final Thoughts

To every working mom who feels like they’re drowning in self-doubt and to-do lists, here’s the truth: You’re already enough. Imposter Syndrome might be loud, but it doesn’t have to run the show. By recognizing the patterns, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion, you can reclaim your energy—and your joy.

And when in doubt, remember: Even Beyoncé probably has days when she doubts herself. (Okay, maybe not, but you get the idea.)

As always, if you have any questions please feel free to leave a question in the comments. There is a section on imposter syndrome in my book, The Burnout Doctor, due to be published in January 2025! Pre order from all good book retailers now.

Sources:

  • Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice.
  • Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself. Self and Identity.
  • Young, V. (2011). The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women.
  • Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
  • World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an “Occupational Phenomenon.”

Avoid 6 mistakes working moms make in their daily routine

If you’ve ever googled “how to build a daily routine,” you’ve probably come across advice that sounds great… if you have unlimited time, no children, and magical powers that let you create extra hours in the day.  According to most of the internet, your ideal daily schedule should start with a morning routine that looks like this: wake up at 5 a.m., meditate for 30 minutes, journal your intentions, cook a healthy breakfast, do a 10-step skincare routine, and somehow have time to run 5 miles before you sit down to work. For working moms, this is nothing short of laughable.  If you’re a working mom juggling family life, work, and school activities, you probably laugh-cry at the thought of doing even one of these things in your daily life without multiple family members yelling your name by 6 a.m.

The reality for most of us is that we’re lucky if we get five minutes to shower alone. The idea of “finding time” for elaborate self-care routines simply adds to the stress. So, let’s ditch the unrealistic advice and get real about what works for busy, stressed-out working moms.

So why does the traditional advice fall flat?  And how can we busy moms set up a routine that works *for us* and doesn’t leave us feeling like bad moms for not achieving a flawless morning ritual?  Furthermore, how can routines advise that a typical day for a mom will be very different, depending on whether you work full-time, part-time, remote, hybrid, or in the office? 

What you’ll learn about the mistakes working moms make in their daily routine in this post

This post will tell you all the reasons why traditional routine advice often doesn’t fit the unpredictable lives of working moms, who juggle work, kids, and home responsibilities.  You’ll also learn how and why this is a risk factor for burnout.  Rigid routines with early starts and structured “me-time” don’t match the demands of your days. Instead, you should focus on your natural energy peaks, aligning high-focus tasks with times when you feel most alert, rather than sticking to rigid schedules. Embracing micro-routines—small, flexible daily routines—allows for manageable accomplishments without the pressure of a perfect routine. Working with children’s schedules rather than against them helps you to feel more balanced and reduces stress. Creating flexible core routines, like meal prep or tidying, provides an anchor without the need for a strict timetable. Simple evening routines, such as preparing for the next day, can also make mornings more manageable. And finally, it’s essential to accept that some days will be messy; routines should adapt to real-life demands. These approaches allow working moms to build routines that support their unique lives without unnecessary stress or guilt.  Read on to learn how to do this! 

About the author: 

I’m Dr Claire, and I’m a UK-based family doctor.  I’m also a mama of 2 who has struggled with time management, the demands of work, and being a good mother.  My own experience with burnout means that I am a firm believer in helping working moms achieve that elusive work-life balance.  I now work as an expert in workplace mental health and wellbeing, and I am passionate about supporting women in the workplace.    

Let’s start by talking about why traditional routine advice doesn’t help working moms. 

Why traditional daily routine advice doesn’t help working moms

Traditional routine advice often assumes that you have hours of free time to devote to self-care and productivity hacks. Unfortunately, that’s not the reality for working moms who are already juggling a full-time job, the demands of kids, and the household chores. According to a study by the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, moms spend twice as much time as dads on housework and childcare, even when both parents work full-time.

And then there’s the “motherhood penalty”—that nagging fear that if you take too much time for yourself, you’ll fall behind at work or somehow be seen as less committed. Research from Harvard Business Review shows that mothers often feel this pressure, leading to burnout. Traditional routines don’t take into account the emotional and physical load that working moms carry.

Let’s be real: working moms need daily routines that fit into their busy lives, help reduce stress, and—if we’re lucky—create tiny pockets of calm in the chaos.

Most routine advice for a “successful morning” assumes a world with enough hours in the day, uninterrupted “me-time,” and a level of work-life balance that only happens in social media dreams.

The 6 mistakes working moms make in their daily routine

Here are the 6 things that you are told to do, in order to have a successful daily routine:

1. Wake up early (before anyone else in the house, of course).

2. Meditate for 10-20 minutes to clear your mind.

3.  Journal for a bit of “me-time” and self-reflection.

4. Exercise– because we’re all meant to get those *productive hours* in before dawn.

5. Have a nutritious breakfast without interruption (lol)

6. Review your goals for the day and get your mindset ready.

Sounds nice, right?  There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of the advice above.  But for some of you, this just doesn’t cut it. Here’s why:

Why typical daily routine advice doesn’t work for working moms

​1. The myth of me-time

   – The idea of waking up early for extra “me-time” sounds nice until you realize that the baby was up all night or a young kid needs help finding a favorite water bottle right first thing in the morning. Hectic days don’t magically create extra time just because you set an alarm.

2. The Unrealistic “Start of the Day”

   – You might set intentions for a perfect morning, but school days, extracurricular activities, and getting lunch boxes packed means you’re lucky if you’re dressed by 9 a.m. Mornings become a race against the clock, not a mindful ritual.

3. The Pressure of “Best Start” Expectations

   – Being told to start each day with a perfect routine can trigger mom guilt. When life throws curveballs, we’re left feeling like we’re not doing enough. It’s hard to feel like a good mom when society tells you that your morning smoothie will set the tone for the entire day.

4. Different Schedules, Endless Juggling

   – Traditional advice assumes a one-size-fits-all schedule. But every mom’s life has unique twists—part-time work, full time work, hybrid schedules, older kids, babies, toddlers. These routines rarely account for the juggling act that moms face daily.

5. The Overwhelming Focus on Productivity

   – We’re often told that more productivity equals a more successful life. But when working moms hear that, it feels like just one more area where we need to overachieve. Sometimes, getting everyone out the door with shoes on is a huge win.

Working moms are more at risk of burnout 

Traditional routine advice can be a fast track to burnout for working moms because, honestly, it sets a completely unrealistic bar. These routines are designed with the idea that your day is predictable, that you have uninterrupted time, and that “getting up earlier” is the solution to all your problems. But the reality is, for a working mom, there’s rarely a predictable day. You’re constantly juggling—the kids might be up at night, the morning might start with a missing shoe crisis, and by the time you sit down to work, you’re already in catch-up mode.

Trying to force a routine that’s rigid and doesn’t account for the unpredictable nature of mom life just creates this feeling of never quite being good enough.  When you can’t fit in that peaceful meditation or the early morning workout everyone says is the “best way” to start your day, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing. Over time, this constant self-criticism and the pressure to achieve a picture-perfect daily routine can drain you, mentally and physically.

Plus, traditional routines often ignore the emotional weight moms carry, like mom guilt or the mental load of remembering everything from doctor’s appointments to who likes which lunch box. This kind of advice doesn’t leave any room for flexibility, for those days when you’re running on empty, or when a sick kid means your morning is flipped upside down. Constantly chasing a routine that’s incompatible with real life means you’re always pushing yourself to meet expectations that weren’t built for you. And that constant push? It’s a one-way ticket to burnout.

Avoid burnout with these 13 practical and pragmatic daily routine tips that actually work for busy moms
Avoid burnout with these 13 practical and pragmatic daily routine tips that actually work for busy moms

13 practical and pragmatic daily routine tips that *actually* work for busy moms

The key to a *good routine* is flexibility, compassion, and a healthy dose of reality. Here are some ideas that might look a little *different* than the standard advice but will help you feel more in control of your *busy day*:

1. Let Go of the “Ideal Morning”

There’s no such thing as a “perfect start.” Focus on just two non-negotiables every morning—ones that make you feel ready for the day without adding *mom guilt* or extra pressure. Maybe it’s a five-minute stretch or even a warm shower before anyone else is up.  Alternatively, aim for a 10-minute reset when you wake up. Grab a coffee or tea, breathe, and spend a couple of minutes stretching or mentally prepping for the day. This tiny ritual can help you start your day feeling a little more in control, without the pressure of an hour-long “self-care” routine. Bonus: Doing this can give you a mental boost, helping you show up more focused and productive at work.

2. Plan Around Your Energy Peaks (Not the Clock)

Use your productive hours wisely. If you’re sharpest in the afternoon, schedule high-focus work tasks then, not at 5 a.m. when the world says you “should” be at your best. This allows you to create a routine that feels natural.

3. Embrace “Micro-Routines” for a Busy Schedule

  Not every routine has to happen every day, at the same time. Think about routines as smaller, flexible tasks. Maybe it’s drinking a glass of water before each meal, or a quick tidy-up of the living room after the end of the day. Micro-routines are achievable without requiring an entire day to manage them.

4. Work with, Not Against, Your Kids’ Schedule

Make routines that fit into your kids’ rhythm. If your young kids need your attention in the mornings, save your high-focus tasks for the *second shift* after bedtime. Adjust your day around school activities or childcare without fighting it.

5. Build a “Flexible Core” Routine

Have a couple of core tasks—daily tasks like meal prep or laundry—that anchor your day, but leave the timing open. This helps you adapt to interruptions. Whether it’s doing the dishes after family dinners or folding laundry after work, flexible core routines can happen whenever you have enough time.

6. Have a Realistic Evening Routine

 For moms, evening routines might be less about “unwinding” and more about preparing for tomorrow. Small changes like packing bags, getting water bottles ready, or planning for school days will give you a better chance to handle the next morning with less stress.

7. Accept the Messy Days

Not every day will look the same, and that’s okay. Working moms have different schedules, busy schedules* and sometimes very little predictability. Embrace those long days where routines don’t happen and remember that every day is different. Celebrate the little things and keep moving forward.

8. Time Block the Non-Negotiables (Work and Life)

Time-blocking is an old productivity hack, but it works for working moms when you use it to carve out space for both work tasks and life essentials. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by a massive to-do list, block out time for your most important work tasks and the non-negotiable life stuff—like school runs, meal prep, or kiddo’s bedtime. And yes, schedule breaks. It might sound counterintuitive, but even a 15-minute break helps with focus and reduces burnout.

9. Batch Small Tasks Like a Boss

Have you ever found yourself answering work emails while simultaneously cooking dinner, helping with homework, and replying to the group chat? Spoiler alert: multitasking isn’t the most efficient way to manage your day. Instead, batch similar tasks together. Need to knock out emails? Do them all at once in a dedicated block. House chores piling up? Set a 20-minute timer and tackle as much as you can in that window. This helps reduce decision fatigue and gives you a little more mental breathing room.

10. Sneak in Self-Care (In Tiny Doses)

Forget hour-long meditation sessions or bubble baths. For working moms, self-care needs to be quick and realistic. Sneak it in where you can—five minutes of deep breathing before your first Zoom meeting, stretching while the kettle boils, or listening to a favorite podcast while tidying up. The key is consistency, not duration. Tiny moments of self-care throughout the day help recharge your batteries without derailing your schedule.

11. Set Work Boundaries That Stick

When you’re working from home (or even in a hybrid role), it’s easy for work to bleed into every corner of your day. However, setting strict work boundaries is essential for reducing stress. Set a clear “end time” for your workday and stick to it. Once that laptop is closed, it stays closed. Communicate your boundaries to your boss or team—most of them will respect it if you’re consistent. Tip: Use technology to help. Schedule an email “pause” after work hours, or set your phone to “Do Not Disturb” mode to avoid getting sucked into work tasks at night.

12. Delegate Like You Mean It

Here’s the thing—if you’re trying to do everything yourself, you’re setting yourself up for burnout. Get comfortable with delegating tasks, whether it’s at work or home. At work, delegate smaller tasks to coworkers or use productivity tools to streamline your to-do list. At home, involve your partner (if you have one), and get the kids to help with age-appropriate chores. Asking for help is not a failure; it’s survival.

13. End the Day with a “Closing Routine”

Just like your workday has a start, it needs an end. Create a quick “closing” routine to signal the day is done. This could be something as simple as tidying your workspace, writing a quick to-do list for tomorrow, or enjoying 5 minutes of meditation. It gives your brain permission to switch off from work mode and helps you wind down for the evening. Bonus: This also helps prevent work thoughts from creeping into family time, giving you more emotional presence at home.

Final thoughts on building realistic daily routines for working moms that avoid burnout

The “perfect” routine advice you see on social media often misses the mark for organized working moms.  When you’re juggling a job, and family, and trying to find a moment to breathe, your day won’t look like anyone else’s. The key is building a flexible, compassionate approach to routines that work for you, not for some idealized version of what a mom “should” do.

After all, the best routines are the ones that fit your real life—not a flawless Instagram post. So forget the 5 a.m. smoothie if it doesn’t work, and make room for *quiet time* whenever you find it—even if it’s five minutes after the washing machine stops. That’s how you create a routine that works for your world.

Creating daily routines for working mums isn’t about adding more things to your plate—it’s about finding small, manageable ways to reduce stress and regain a sense of control. These routines are designed to fit into your busy life, not disrupt it, helping you feel calmer and more balanced at both work and home.

Remember, perfection isn’t the goal here. It’s about progress—tiny steps that make a big difference over time. With the right routine, you can tackle your day feeling a little more like you and a little less like a headless chicken.

As always, feel free to ask me any questions you have about stress, burnout, and work in the comments.  I’ll respond personally to every single one. 

PS. If you loved this article, then you really love the other articles I’ve written for working moms just like you. Click here to read more!

Notion pricing plans 2024: your guide to free vs plus

You might think of Notion as a work tool, but think again!  For many working professionals juggling family, career, and personal commitments, keeping everything organized is a constant challenge.  Traditional planners and scattered notes only add to the chaos. The right digital tool can make a world of difference.  

In this guide, we dive into why Notion’s free plan is a game-changer for personal and family management, offering features that reduce stress and promote a balanced, organized lifestyle—all without any subscription costs.  You’ll learn the key differences in the 2 lowest tier priced products for Notion by directly comparing what their Free Plan and the Plus plan offers.  You’ll discover that Notion’s free plan provides ample space for tracking tasks, planning meals, managing family schedules, and setting goals.  And, with customizable templates and robust database capabilities, Notion adapts to your needs rather than the other way around.  If you’re looking for a straightforward solution to streamline your home life, Notion’s free version is an ideal choice. It helps you to feel in control, more organized, and ready to tackle each day.  

About the author:

I’m Dr Claire Ashley, a doctor with a specialist interest in workplace mental health and wellbeing.  My 22 years of clinical training and experience, coupled with my background in neuroscience and lived experience of burnout, uniquely places me to help stressed and burnt-out professionals regain balance in their lives using the very best scientific advice.  I am also an avid user of Notion! I use it as an individual to help organize my personal, family life and work life so that I feel more in control and less stressed.  

First, let’s discuss why you need a good online planner. Discover how it can be a game-changer in keeping life balanced (and a bit less stressful).  

Why busy working professionals need an online planner for home life

Between work obligations, social plans, family time, and the daily logistics of running a household, it’s no wonder burnout risk is high.  For busy professionals, an online planner isn’t just a convenience—it’s a necessity.  A tool like Notion offers that next level of organization. It helps by creating a space to manage everything in one place without scattering notes across apps, spreadsheets, or paper planners.  It’s your command center to help you navigate work, home life, and a few precious minutes of personal time!  It’s a great way to feel more in control and less stressed. 

Why Notion the perfect home organization tool for individuals

So, why Notion?  Unlike traditional planners that are mostly calendar-focused, Notion allows you to design a system that suits your life.  With its flexible pages, templates, and databases, you can create lists, manage projects, set reminders, and keep records all in one place. And the best part?  You’re in control of how simple or complex it is.  Notion adapts to you, rather than you adapting to it. Thus, making it ideal for individuals who need both flexibility and functionality.  

5 ways working professionals can use Notion to save time and reduce stress at home

Here are five specific ways you can use Notion to streamline your day-to-day life, free up time, and minimize stress:

  1. Meal planning and grocery lists
    Create a weekly meal planner where you can quickly drop in recipe links, list ingredients, and categorize groceries. Add a checkbox feature to mark off items as you shop or order online. Planning meals for the week saves you from the daily scramble and makes shopping more efficient.
  2. Task management and daily to-dos
    Use Notion’s task board feature to set up a “home” and “work” to-do list, broken down by day or week. You can drag tasks between columns labeled “To Do,” “In Progress,” and “Done” to visualize your progress. This is a real mental boost! Plus, it’s satisfying to see everything in one place rather than scattered across sticky notes.
  3. Family schedules and calendars
    Create a master calendar for family activities, work meetings, school events, and appointments. Use reminders for upcoming deadlines, and color-code events to easily spot what’s happening. No more last-minute “Mom, it’s show-and-tell today!” stress.
  4. Goal setting and habit tracking
    Ever feel like you don’t get time to work on personal goals? Set up a simple database for tracking goals and habits. You can add motivational notes or checkboxes to track things like “exercise,” “read a chapter,” or even “drink enough water”.
  5. Project management for work and home
    Do you have a work project with tight deadlines? Or maybe you’re planning a family vacation?  Use Notion’s Kanban boards or timelines to break down larger tasks into manageable steps. Seeing a visual plan for big projects helps you manage stress, stay on track, and feel accomplished as you tick items off.

Notion competitors: why they don’t stack up

While Notion is versatile, it’s not the only app out there. Here are three other popular apps that working professionals sometimes use, and why Notion still comes out on top.

  1. Trello
    Trello is great for task management with its boards and cards. But Trello lacks the depth and customization that Notion offers. It’s still a good choice for managing projects. However, it doesn’t handle diverse needs (like meal planning or note-taking) as seamlessly as Notion.
  2. Evernote
    Evernote is excellent for note-taking and storing information. However, its structure is limiting if you want to integrate more complex tasks like databases or project management. While it’s great for collecting notes, it’s not as strong for tracking tasks or schedules.
  3. Google Keep
    Google Keep is simple and intuitive, which is useful for quick notes and lists. However, it lacks the robust features of Notion for more extensive planning and organization. It’s a good supplemental tool but isn’t sufficient as an all-in-one planner.

If you’re guilty of downloading a note-taking app in the past, but not using it, then read on!   You’ll learn the key differences between the free and paid versions of Notion.  You’ll realize why the free version is a great choice for working professionals, and how it meets your specific needs. 

Notion pricing plans: Free vs. Plus in 2024

Below is a quick breakdown of the main differences between Notion plans. You’ll find that the free version has plenty of tools to help working professionals organize and simplify their lives.

Notion offers a range of pricing plans ranging from individuals right through to large teams and large enterprises.  There are 2 further pricing plans to choose from in addition to the Free Plan and the Plus Plan- the Business Plan, and the Enterprise Plan.  You also have the option of choosing to have the Notion AI add-on.  These plans aren’t outlined in this article, but you can read more about them here.  

FeatureFree Plan- for individualsPlus Plan- for small teams and professionals $8.50 /month
StorageUnlimited for individuals, limited block trial for 2+ membersUnlimited
File Upload Limit5 MB per fileUnlimited
Collaborative WorkspaceYesYes
Database CapabilitiesFull accessFull access
Version HistoryLimited (7 days)Extended (30 days)
IntegrationsBasic integrations availableAdvanced API integrations
Guest LimitUp to 10 guestsUp to 100 guests
PriceFree£8.50/$10 a month per seat

Additional information comparing Notion free and plus plans:

In addition to the above, Plus members get custom websites, custom automations and synced databases with 3rd party apps.  You are entitled to 1 custom domain on the free plan, and up to 5 on the plus plan.  The Plus plan has monthly billing, and there is no option for annual billing. There is also no free trial option.  If you choose to have the Notion AI add on then you can try it for free beforehand as part of your Free or Plus plan.  This is so you can test most of its capabilities before purchasing the add-on subscription. On both the Free and the Plus plans, you can integrate multiple Google calendars at once (a lifesaver if you want to integrate your Google workspace calendar with your home one!).

Let’s go through each feature from Notion’s free vs. paid plan and look at which option best suits the needs of busy working professionals. Here’s a breakdown to help you decide if the free version will cover your needs or if upgrading is worth it.  

FeatureFree PlanPlus PlanBest for home life useRecommendation for home life use
StorageUnlimited for individuals, limited block trial for 2+ membersUnlimitedBoth plans offer unlimited storage for individuals, which is perfect for managing everything from tasks to meal plans.Free Plan: More than enough for most working professionals, especially if you are using it as an individual
File Upload Limit5 MB per fileUnlimitedIf you mostly upload small files or images (like grocery lists or receipts), the 5 MB limit is sufficient. However, larger files like videos or high-res images will require an upgrade.Free Plan: Ideal unless you work with large files regularly.
Collaborative SharingYesYesSharing is useful if you want to involve family members in grocery lists, to-dos, or schedules. The free plan’s 10-guest limit is usually enough.Free Plan: Perfect for coordinating with family or close collaborators.
Database CapabilitiesFull accessFull accessBoth plans offer full database features, ideal for tracking family routines, goals, and work projects. No need to upgrade here.Free Plan: Fully equipped for managing work and home databases.
Version HistoryLimited (7 days)Extended (30 days)If you work on complex projects or need to frequently review and roll back changes, the extended version history can be helpful. For basic home and work tasks, the 7-day history suffices.Free Plan: Suitable for tracking regular edits without requiring extensive history.
IntegrationsBasic integrationsAdvanced API integrationsFor most families, the basic integrations (like Google Calendar) are sufficient. Advanced integrations are more for technical or business-heavy tasks.Free Plan: Basic integrations cover family and work needs well.
Guest LimitUp to 10 guestsUp to 100 guests10 guests are more than enough for coordinating with a partner or family. If you’re not sharing with a larger team, you’ll rarely need more.Free Plan: Plenty of guest capacity for family and personal use.
PriceFree£8.50/$10 a month per seatThe free plan has robust functionality without extra costs. The paid plan is reasonable but only necessary for more advanced needs.Free Plan: Perfect for working professionals’ everyday needs.

Here’s a more detailed breakdown of each Notion feature in the free and plus plans, and recommendations for individual use:

1. Storage

   – Both Free and Plus: Both plans offer unlimited storage, which is incredibly useful for storing endless to-do lists, meal plans, and even years’ worth of family schedules. You won’t have to worry about running out of space.

   – Recommendation for home use: Free Plan– with unlimited storage in both, the free version covers the needs of most working professionals at home.

2. File Upload Limit

   – Free: Limited to 5 MB per file. Great for smaller files, photos, documents, and PDFs.

   – Plus: Unlimited file uploads, with no size limit, useful for larger files (e.g., presentations or videos).

   – Recommendation for home use: Free plan– Unless your job requires uploading big files, 5 MB should be plenty for typical family and work documents.

3. Collaborative Sharing and Guest Limit

   – Free: Share with up to 10 guests, enough to collaborate with family members or a small work team.

   – Plus: Allows for 100 guests, useful for larger teams.

   – Recommendation for home use: Free plan – The 10-guest limit is ideal for most working professionals who only need to share lists or schedules with family members.

4. Database Capabilities

   – Both Free and Plus: Full access to Notion’s database features, enabling you to set up lists, habit trackers, project boards, and more.

   – Recommendation for home use: Free plan – The database functionality is identical, so the free version is more than enough for personal and professional organizing.

5. Version History 

   – Free: Offers 7 days of version history. If you make a mistake, you have a week to restore an earlier version, which is generally adequate for everyday needs.

   – Plus: Extends version history to 30 days, ideal if you’re working on long-term, complex projects that require more frequent rollbacks.

   – Recommendation for home use: Free plan – For most professionals using Notion for home use, a 7-day rollback is enough; 30 days is more for business or project-heavy users.

6. Integrations

   – Free: Basic integrations are available, covering popular tools like Google Calendar, which is ideal for syncing family and work events.

   – Plus: Advanced API integrations open up broader connectivity, ideal for business or technical use.

   – Recommendation for home use: Free Plan – The basic integrations available on the free plan should cover family and basic work coordination without the need for advanced options.

7. Cost

    – Free: no cost 

    – Plus: £8.50/$10 a month per seat

    – Recommendation for home use: Free plan- the free plan is a no-brainer for any busy professional looking to regain some order in their lives! 

Final verdict and summary

There is a misconception that Notion is exclusively for small teams and small businesses and that the advanced features it offers are only designed for people who use it as a collaborative workspace.  Notion workspace is fabulous for all team members, but, as you can see, the free plan is perfect for individual users.  For working professionals, the free version of Notion offers everything you need to create order in both your home and work life without any added cost.

For most, the added benefits of the plus plan won’t be necessary unless you require more file storage, advanced integrations, or extended guest access.  Individuals don’t need the advanced page analytics, workplace analytics, or advanced security options to get the most out of Notion.  Furthermore, you’ll still get access to the basic page analytics and customer support even on the free plan- although plus users are treated to priority support.  But even without priority support, you’ll get a pretty swift response to any issues that arise. 

With all the functionality you need for planning, tracking, and organizing, the free version offers more than enough power to help you create a better work-life balance without the extra expense. So go ahead, give it a try, and watch as your daily life begins to feel just a little bit more manageable. Plus, once you start using it, I promise you’ll never look at another online planner the same way again!

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask in the comments as I’d be happy to help as an avid user of Notion. I use the free plan and I have no commercial links to Notion. 

Understanding ADHD burnout symptoms and recovery in women

Here’s why you need to be aware of the ADHD burnout cycle. There is a new generation – particularly of adult women – being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). These women typically have not been diagnosed in early life because they have been able to mask their symptoms sufficiently. Or, perhaps because they presented in a different way than expected.

Many adult women, especially working moms, are receiving ADHD diagnoses later in life. This is a reality that comes as both a revelation and a relief.  For years, these women may have struggled through daily life. Meeting work demands, managing family responsibilities, and navigating social interactions, all the while feeling like they’re falling short. Understanding why so many women with ADHD are diagnosed later in life is key. It requires looking at how symptoms manifest differently in females, the societal expectations placed on women, and the challenges associated with “masking” ADHD traits.  The result, for many, is burnout, and in particular, rapid ADHD burnout cycles.

Why do ADHD diagnoses come later for women?

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects executive functioning, attention, and impulsivity. ADHD has traditionally been studied in boys, and the symptoms associated with it (like hyperactivity and impulsiveness) are often more visible and disruptive.  Research shows that ADHD in girls and women often presents differently.  

Women are more likely to experience inattentive symptoms like forgetfulness, disorganization, and difficulty focusing on daily tasks. These symptoms can be less obvious and are often mistakenly attributed to personality quirks or stress rather than a neurodevelopmental condition. This gendered misunderstanding of ADHD symptoms is a significant reason why many women go undiagnosed until adulthood.

ADHD in adulthood might look like this: 

having difficulty finishing projects once the challenging parts have been done; 

having difficulty organizing tasks and getting things in order; 

forgetting appointments and obligations; 

avoiding or delaying tasks that require a lot of thought; 

needing to fidget or do something with the hands or feet when in meetings or having to sit still for long periods; 

feeling overly active and compelled to move; 

making careless mistakes when working on a tedious or repetitive task or piece of work; 

having difficulty concentrating on what people say; 

regularly losing items such as keys, wallets or phones; 

lack of motivation;

sleep problems;

being distracted by activity and noise; 

having difficulty relaxing and unwinding; 

sensitive dysphoria;

poor time management;

talking a lot in social situations, interrupting other people, finishing off other people’s sentences; 

finding it hard to wait your turn in situations where this is expected or required. 

The role of masking and burnout

As adults, many women adapt by “masking” their symptoms.  Masking is consciously or unconsciously hiding behaviors and working overtime to meet societal expectations. This masking involves compensatory strategies like working extra hours, hyper-focusing on specific tasks, and maintaining an external appearance of control.  While these strategies help women get through the day, they also lead to chronic stress, mental exhaustion, and a cycle of burnout symptoms. Over time, the emotional dysregulation that is often part of ADHD becomes harder to hide. This ultimately leads to emotional exhaustion, frustration, and the need for professional help.

Masking ADHD symptoms isn’t just exhausting; it creates a vicious cycle.  Women with undiagnosed ADHD often feel overwhelmed by the unique challenges of daily life, experiencing ADHD burnout symptoms like fatigue, mental fog, and emotional exhaustion.  Constantly “keeping it together” for others or working extra hours to stay organized drains cognitive and emotional resources.  Over time, this burnout amplifies ADHD symptoms, making it even harder to manage daily tasks.

For working moms, life stressors like balancing work and family responsibilities, managing household schedules, and handling social interactions add layers of stress.  Events like a career transition, the birth of a child, or relationship changes can “unmask” ADHD symptoms.  These pivotal moments increase the pressure to manage everything flawlessly. It makes it impossible to keep up with the masking behaviors that were once used to cope. The chronic stress of these situations exacerbates emotional dysregulation and ADHD symptoms, pushing women toward a tipping point where they seek a diagnosis.

The link between ADHD and increased burnout risk

Living with undiagnosed ADHD often leads to a cycle of chronic stress and burnout.  Women with ADHD tend to internalize their struggles, believing they should be able to manage like everyone else.  This self-imposed pressure leads to guilt, emotional exhaustion, and feelings of inadequacy. This only worsens as they struggle to keep up with the demands of daily lives. There is evidence to suggest that ADHD is linked to burnout. This association may be particularly relevant for women who are diagnosed later in life. 

ADHD burnout symptoms are particularly challenging for working moms who are already stretched thin. Women with undiagnosed ADHD face higher risks of emotional dysregulation, including mood swings and heightened anxiety.  When ADHD is masked or ignored, these symptoms worsen, leading to burnout and impacting physical and mental health.  This burnout often compounds feelings of self-blame, adding yet another layer of emotional strain to an already overwhelming experience.

You can see from the list of symptoms above that people with undiagnosed ADHD are likely to struggle with some important aspects of work. In particular, difficulties with time management, organizational skills, and stress management at work lead to a higher rate of burnout in those with ADHD. 

Regardless of biological sex or gender, for people with ADHD, burnout is normally caused by unmanaged symptoms. However, workplace stressors (particularly tight deadlines and a heavy workload requiring concentration) and unhealthy coping mechanisms (like avoidance and social withdrawal) are also factors.  Masking can be very stressful, too, and certainly can factor into the development of burnout. 

What ADHD burnout looks like:

For people with ADHD, especially undiagnosed adults, the burnout cycle is a frequent and challenging experience.  In addition, the risk of burnout is much higher in ADHD than in those who are neurotypical.  ADHD burnout goes beyond the typical exhaustion. It includes both mental and physical fatigue, emotional dysregulation, and significant challenges in managing daily tasks.  The cycle often begins with high levels of motivation and overcommitment, driven by a desire to “prove oneself” or compensate for perceived shortcomings. However, without adequate rest and boundaries, this can lead to periods of extreme fatigue, decreased productivity, and eventually, burnout.

ADHD symptoms make it hard to commit and follow through on work tasks. This then leads to an accumulation of stress and adoption of unhealthy coping techniques (such as avoidance, procrastination, and self-medication). This then leads to withdrawal (quitting, giving up on tasks, and withdrawing socially), before going back to feeling overwhelmed and stressed.  

Workplace pressures mean that people with ADHD take significantly more stress-related days off sick than those who do not have ADHD.

Common symptoms in the ADHD burnout cycle include:

The ADHD burnout cycle
  1. High motivation and overcommitment – This initial phase includes a high drive to take on more responsibilities and projects.
  2. Accumulating mental and physical exhaustion – The continuous effort leads to fatigue.
  3. Emotional dysregulation – Symptoms such as anxiety and mood swings start to surface.
  4. Difficulty with daily tasks – Basic tasks feel overwhelming, leading to procrastination and feelings of being stuck.
  5. Social withdrawal – Individuals may start avoiding social interactions, and feeling emotionally drained.
  6. Burnout – Complete exhaustion, both mentally and physically, where managing any responsibility feels unmanageable.

This cycle feeds into itself. Burnout often leads back to the first stage when energy temporarily returns, restarting the process. 

How to successfully manage the ADHD burnout cycle

Quite shockingly, there is very little work done on how to successfully manage burnout in ADHD (just three studies known at the time of writing!).  

The difficulty with this lack of scientific work and evidence-based advice means that when there is an information vacuum, it gets filled with advice that doesn’t necessarily work or isn’t always helpful. 

Work stressors are a factor in the ADHD burnout cycle, but fundamentally the cycle is driven by the ADHD itself.  Therefore, concentrating on neurotypical burnout recovery measures alone will not be enough to break the ADHD burnout cycle alone.  There are some extra things to be aware of that will need your attention to successfully break the cycle of ADHD burnout. 

Managing  ADHD symptoms will form a key part of the recovery process.  Unmanaged, the symptoms of ADHD can make it very difficult to focus, sit still, and complete tasks on time. Regardless of whether you manage this with medication, therapy, or changes to your routine or work habits, it’s important to reduce the negative impact of these symptoms on your work to help manage burnout. 

Procrastination and avoidance can also factor into ADHD burnout because these cause stress by creating a backlog of tasks. Impulsivity can lead to not finishing work tasks and taking on too much. Taking on too many responsibilities and tasks is a common pitfall of people with ADHD, who tend to have a lot of energy, motivation, and optimism about how much they can do. Unfortunately, they may not be realistic with themselves or others about how much they can do or how quickly they can accomplish their goals. 

ADHD masking can also be exhausting. Not only does it contribute to ADHD burnout directly in itself, but it can also affect relationships and expectations from employers and co-workers. 

With these difficulties in mind, let’s move on to discover 8 proven strategies to help break the recurrent and exhausting cycle of ADHD burnout.

8 powerful strategies to help break the cycle of ADHD burnout: 

1. Get a ADHD diagnosis and learn to understand your neurodivergent brain!  Depending on where you live, this can be tricky, as waiting lists can be long.  But, if your symptoms are significant then having a diagnosis can be a real game changer.  

2. Consider ADHD medication – mediation will help to control ADHD control symptoms and minimize their impact on your burnout risk.  You don’t need to take medication every day if you don’t want or need to.  A lot of people take medication on work, university, or school days when they need to focus or quieten down their brains.  Any decision to take medication must be based on understanding the risks and benefits. Please speak to your doctor if you think this would be helpful for you. 

3. Access specialist support from an ADHD-trained therapist (CBT or DBT) or ADHD coach – Having the right tools to manage ADHD symptoms outside of medication is really important.  Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) are both evidence based in the management of ADHD.

The skills learned with these types of therapy are pretty much everything you need to know to successfully break the ADHD burnout cycle!  However, while CBT is recommended to help control ADHD symptoms, not everyone with ADHD feels it is helpful for them. If if this is you then you’re certainly not alone.  DBT, or ADHD coaching might be the better approach in this instance.

In the UK, you can access funding for ADHD coaching through the Access to Work program. 

4. Get help to learn self-compassion and self-acceptance skills- a very common experience with ADHD burnout is guilt and shame.  Learning to treat yourself with kindness through coaching, therapy or a support group is helpful.

6. Unmask your ADHD – masking is exhausting. Let the mask drop. Be honest about your ADHD with yourself and the people around you, and let them help you! It’ll feel a much lighter burden to carry when you do this. 

7. Request appropriate reasonable adjustments from your employer, to help ease the impact of your ADHD symptoms on your work life and subsequent stress levels. For instance, open-plan offices can cause sensory overwhelm in ADHD, which then leads to decreased work performance.  Your employer would give you reasonable adjustments to help manage this. For instance, you could have the option of having your own office, but if that’s not possible, try noise-canceling headphones instead. Alternatively, your employer could also provide a quiet and private decompression space.

8. Practice mindfulness. Regular mindfulness exercises reduce inattentiveness, hyperactivity, and impulsivity in people with ADHD. Mindfulness also has a secondary benefit in reducing stress and preventing burnout. If meditating isn’t your thing, then doing flow/meditative activities such as yoga and Tai Chi are just as beneficial. 

Final thoughts on understanding ADHD burnout: symptoms and recovery 

ADHD in women, particularly working moms, comes with unique challenges and stressors that can lead to mental and emotional exhaustion. Undiagnosed ADHD often traps women in a cycle of masking and burnout, intensified by life’s ever-growing demands. But recognizing these challenges is the first step to change. With an accurate diagnosis, professional support, and self-compassion, women can find ways to manage ADHD in daily life, easing the chronic stress that once felt insurmountable. The journey isn’t easy, but with the right support and tools, it’s possible to reclaim balance, joy, and self-acceptance.

If you’re a working mom, please sign up for my email newsletter The Phoenix. The link is below.

9 powerful financial planning tips for working moms

Financial planning for working moms can be difficult to navigate, and never more so than when you are thinking about a career change. Perhaps you’ve burnt out. Or, perhaps you need a career change to better fit your life as a parent. For many working moms, the arrival of your kids often prompts a reevaluation of priorities—including career goals. Whether it’s the desire for more flexibility, a less stressful role, or a complete shift into a new field, transitioning careers as a mom presents a unique set of financial challenges. Between the high cost of childcare, the motherhood penalty, and the need for more flexible working arrangements, it’s no wonder that financial planning for working mums feels like climbing a mountain in stilettos.

You probably don’t feel that you have much money at the moment, so thinking about your financial future and your financial security will come with several mixed emotions.  Financial stress and financial wellbeing have a huge impact on your burnout risk too.  

If you’re on a tight budget, but you want to change careers, then I’m here to help. Let’s start by breaking down the main financial hurdles working moms face when considering a career change. Then, you’ll learn 9 practical and powerful tips to help you prepare for that transition without losing your mind (or your savings).

The financial challenges that a working mom faces

  1. The high cost of childcare – according to data from the UK and the US, childcare is one of the biggest expenses for families. In the UK, full-time nursery care for a child under two can cost upwards of £14,000 per year (from this article in ​Nature). In the US, parents are paying an average of $10,000 to $15,000 annually per child for childcare (via ​SIEPR). That’s a mortgage payment in many cases—and these costs don’t magically disappear if you decide to change careers. Additionally, research shows that women typically pay for childcare costs themselves, even if they are in a relationship. 
  2. Needing flexible or part-time work– many moms want more flexibility in their schedules to accommodate family life, but part-time or flexible jobs often come with lower pay and fewer benefits. The motherhood penalty is real. Research shows that moms are paid 12-15% less than their child-free counterparts, and working fewer hours only exacerbates this gap.
  3. The Motherhood Penalty– it’s no secret that moms are often overlooked for promotions or high-profile projects, especially if you’ve taken time off for maternity leave. Research shows that women with children earn significantly less than men with children, and this gap persists even in progressive workplaces. The motherhood penalty doesn’t just affect your salary today; it can also reduce your future earning potential and retirement savings.

If these challenges make you want to scream into a pillow, then you’re not the only one. Financial planning for working moms is tough, and especially when you’re on a tight budget!  So, with these challenges in mind, here’s how you can start to prepare for successful career change- without the stress of money problems:

9 practical steps for financial planning for working moms preparing for a career change on a budget (with common objections, and how to overcome them!)

9 powerful financial planning tips for working moms on a budget:Create a household budgetBuild an emergency fundPlan for the cost of retraining/upskillingCut unnecessary expensesMaximise childcare support and benefitsStart side hustling Understand how your career change affects your long-term financial goalsTalk to a financial advisorAllow yourself some self careRead on to learn how to make your career change less stressful financially
9 powerful financial planning tips for working moms on a budget:

1. Create a household budget

Objection: “I’m already drowning in bills!  A budget isn’t going to magically give me more money!”
How to overcome:
I get it—looking at your personal finances can feel like staring into the abyss.  A budget isn’t about finding extra cash under the couch cushions (though I wish it were!). It’s about knowing where your money is going so you can make better decisions.  Think of it like Marie Kondo-ing your finances—declutter the unnecessary, and you’ll feel in control again. Start small, with just one week’s worth of expenses, and you’ll see where those invisible leaks are happening.  Take a look at your monthly income and your monthly expenses, and go from there. 

2. Build an emergency fund

Objection: “Emergency fund? I’m just trying to get through this week without dipping into my overdraft.”
How to overcome:
Listen, you need a safety net, but I know saving feels impossible when the grocery bill alone looks like it’s paying for a small army (those of you who have boys hear me right!), and the amount on your credit cards is increasing.  But, an emergency fund doesn’t have to start with $10k in the bank.  Even $20 a month adds up.  Automate the savings so you don’t even see it, and pretend that little bit of money is your ‘future-you treat fund.’ The peace of mind is priceless. You can achieve your long-term goals this way.  Go on- open a savings account today!  It really is the best way to give yourself peace of mind as you navigate career changes (or other curve balls/unexpected expenses that life occasionally throws at you).  Start by setting yourself the target of having a month of expenses in savings.  

*We currently use the Plum autosavers feature to save small amounts each month. This isn’t an ad or an affiliate link but a genuine recommendation. It helped us to easily save $600 for a very special big birthday event recently. We were able to use the money to have a night away, have a fabulous dinner, and see a West End show without worrying about the cost as it was already paid for. We didn’t even notice the money going from the account.

3. Plan for the cost of retraining or upskilling

Objection: “I can barely get through a day without a coffee, let alone think about taking a course!”
How to overcome:
No one’s saying you need to jump into a full-on degree program with a textbook in one hand and a baby bottle in the other. Start small. There are tons of affordable (even free!) online courses—check out platforms like Coursera or LinkedIn Learning. Or, perhaps you could even start with YouTube! It has a ton of free resources on it. You can learn any skill on YouTube. My husband learned to build via YouTube, and he ended up building our entire home extension without spending a penny on learning this new skill set. Start with something bite-sized, and it won’t feel overwhelming. Think of it as an investment in Future You, who will be so grateful for the added skills. You can get so much decent financial education online too. Whilst planning your career change, you might also like to read this previous article on career advice that working moms should never take to avoid any painful mistakes!

4. Cut unnecessary expenses

Objection: “Cut what?! I don’t even splurge on lattes anymore!”
How to overcome:
I feel you, but even the most frugal among us have hidden expenses. Have you looked at your subscriptions recently? (Cough that gym membership you haven’t used since 2021 cough).  Revisit every small automatic payment and ask yourself if you need it. It’s not about depriving yourself; it’s about spending on things that bring you joy and utility.  This is a really helpful tip if you work full time but your financial health isn’t in the best of states- it’s an easy win to help you feel more in control of your outgoings.  

5. Maximize childcare support or benefits

Objection: “I’ve looked into it—there’s no help for me!”
How to Overcome:
I hear you, but government programs are a maze, and it’s easy to miss things. Revisit your options—sometimes new subsidies pop up, or maybe you’ve missed out on tax-free childcare. Try speaking to a financial advisor or using a benefits calculator (in the UK, sites like Turn2Us can help). It doesn’t hurt to dig around a little more. You’d be surprised at what you might be eligible for.  This is a great first step if you’re not sure where to get started on your journey to financial independence.  By getting some additional support this will allow you some flexibility to look at your life goals and to shoot for a job that will eventually give you a much higher income. 

6. Start side hustling

Objection: “How am I supposed to start a side hustle when I barely have time to shower?”
How to overcome:
Side hustling doesn’t have to mean working 40 more hours a week- working moms already don’t have much time on their hands.  Think of it as a great way to build an additional  “slow and steady” income.  It can be something you’re already good at—selling preloved baby clothes online, freelance writing during nap time, or tutoring on weekends. It’s about finding something flexible that fits into your current life, not adding a ton more stress. Having a side hustle will generate additional income that will help ease any career break, or change. 

7. Understand how your career change affects your long-term financial goals

Objection: “Retirement?! I’m more worried about making it to the end of the month!”

How to overcome:
When you’re focused on changing careers, the last thing on your mind is your retirement plan. But here’s the thing: even if retirement feels like a distant worry, making sure you don’t lose track of long-term savings now will save you headaches later. If you’re switching to part-time work or going freelance, it’s important to know how your pension or retirement savings will be affected. Check with your current employer about what happens to your pension contributions if you leave or reduce hours, and consider setting up a personal pension plan if your new career won’t come with employer contributions.

Think of it this way: you’re not planning for a luxury yacht in retirement (though, hey, why not dream big?), but for peace of mind down the line. Even small, consistent contributions now mean you won’t have to scramble later. You’ve got enough to juggle already—so let Future You benefit from a little planning today!  Setting clear goals will help you to prepare for your golden years. 

8. Talk to a financial advisor

Objection: “A financial advisor? That sounds expensive and way too fancy for me.”
How to overcome:
Financial advisors/a certified financial planner aren’t just for billionaires. There are affordable options, and some workplaces even offer free consultations.  Many advisors work on an hourly rate or offer free first-time sessions, and they can save you more money in the long run than they cost upfront.  Plus, they’ll help you see the bigger picture without the stress of doing it all yourself.  In the UK, financial advisors are regulated, so you can rest easy knowing this.  They can help you will some of the more intimidating financial things that you’ve been putting off- like getting life insurance, maximising your interest rates, and thinking about retirement accounts.  They’re great to help you feel that you have a really solid financial plan. 

9. Allow yourself a little self-care (it doesn’t have to cost anything!)

Objection: “Yeah, but I have no time or money for self-care. I can barely fit in a nap!”
How to overcome:
Self-care doesn’t have to be a spa day (we can dream though, right?), or something where you need to spend a lot of money- money that could be used instead to prepare for a career change. Self-care can be as simple as sitting in the car for 10 extra minutes before the school run to breathe or read a chapter of a book. It might be arranging to meet a friend for a walk at the weekend. Being kind to yourself is about small, manageable moments. Taking care of your mental well-being as you prepare for a career change in a way that is financially sustainable will help ease the stress of this period. 

Final thoughts on financial planning for working moms considering a career change

Changing careers after having kids is a big deal, both emotionally and financially. With some thoughtful financial planning, working moms can navigate the transition smoothly. By creating a solid budget, building an emergency fund, and cutting unnecessary expenses, you can prepare yourself for the next chapter of your professional life without sacrificing your financial stability. The journey may be challenging, but the result—a fulfilling career that works for you and your family—is well worth the effort.

Remember, financial planning for working moms is all about creating flexibility and security, so take the time to plan and give yourself the best chance to succeed.

Further reading: 

I highly recommend a read of Money Mentor by Anna Brading (aff link). She walks you through the 10 Steps to mastering your money as you learn how to piece together your own financial plan, step by step, and track your progress as you go. (Spoiler alert: it’s not that hard – we were just never taught this stuff in school!).  Upgrade your financial knowledge now-  this is essential reading for any mom looking to prepare their finances for a career change! 

Disclaimer:

This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended as financial advice. For personal financial planning, please consult a certified financial advisor.

Navigating fertility problems at work: why it’s so stressful, and how to manage it

Struggling with fertility issues is emotionally exhausting enough without the added stress of navigating it in the workplace. Women, men, non-binary folks and LGBTQIA+ couples who are dealing with fertility problems often face unique challenges at work. Many of these challenges make your journey even more difficult. In addition, not only do these challenges increase stress, but they also make burnout more likely.

If you think you might be burning out, then this quiz will help you to this out- and tell you your essential next steps.

Let’s break down the key issues that those with fertility problems face in the workplace and, crucially, how you can tackle each one in a way that’s practical for work, and compassionate for you.

10 Challenges for folks with Fertility Problems at work (and Why They Increase Stress)

  1. Lack of flexibility for medical appointments
    Fertility treatments often require frequent, time-sensitive medical appointments. Without workplace flexibility, you may struggle to fit these appointments into your schedule. This then leads to stress and worry about job security (see case study on ​Action for Children).
  2. Unsupportive work cultures
    Many workplaces don’t have policies in place to support employees dealing with fertility issues. This can lead to you feeling isolated or guilty for needing time off​.
  3. Fear of discrimination
    You may fear that disclosing fertility struggles could result in discrimination or missed career opportunities. This then leads to additional stress and pressure to keep your issues hidden​.
  4. Mental and emotional strain
    Fertility problems can be emotionally draining, affecting concentration, productivity, and overall mental well-being at work. Many people feel pressured to perform at their usual level, despite the emotional toll. You bring your whole self to work- it’s impossible to leave your fertility struggles at the work front door.
  5. High cost of fertility treatments
    For those paying out of pocket, fertility treatments can be financially crippling, adding a significant burden on top of the stresses of work. This financial strain increases burnout risk as you juggle both expenses and workplace demands.
  6. Lack of access to benefits
    While some companies offer fertility treatment coverage, it’s not the norm. Employees without such benefits feel unsupported, especially when their workplace provides no guidance or assistance with accessing fertility resources. (FYI- The F Word At Work podcast has some great advice for busy HR, DE&I and wellbeing leads to support their employees with fertility issues).
  7. Stigma around fertility struggles
    Talking openly about fertility issues is still taboo in many workplaces, leaving you to suffer in silence. The stigma can stop you from seeking support or requesting necessary accommodations.
  8. The pressure of time
    Fertility treatments are often a race against time. The pressure to balance work responsibilities with this ticking clock can be overwhelming. This stress amplifies when treatments are unsuccessful, as they often are- IVF success rates range from 32% for women under the age of 35, to 4% for women aged over 44.
  9. Colleagues’ unawareness and insensitive comments
    Fertility struggles are invisible, and colleagues may unknowingly make insensitive comments about parenthood, adding to emotional strain. “When are you going to have a baby?” can feel like salt in the wound when you’re going through fertility investigation and treatment.
  10. Fear of job insecurity
    You are likely to worry that taking time off for fertility treatments will be seen as a lack of commitment to their job, especially if your workplace lacks clear policies around this issue. This fear can lead to burnout as you push yourself to keep up.

How These Issues Lead to Burnout

Fertility problems are a deeply personal and emotional challenge. When layered with the additional pressures of work, they create a perfect storm for burnout. The constant balancing act between attending medical appointments, managing the emotional rollercoaster of treatments, and performing at work can leave you feeling depleted and overwhelmed.

Burnout is the result of chronic stress. When work becomes another arena where fertility struggles must be managed in silence, the emotional toll can become too much to bear. Without support, you might find yourself battling feelings of shame, fear, and inadequacy—leading to both mental and physical exhaustion.

Let’s move on to think about practical solutions to help!

10 Practical Solutions to Help Navigate Fertility Issues at Work

Fertility problems? Here's how to manage your stress and avoid burnout at work as you navigate your fertility journey
Fertility problems? Here’s how to manage your stress and avoid burnout at work as you navigate your fertility journey
  1. Flexible work arrangements
    If possible, request a flexible work schedule that allows time for medical appointments without penalizing your productivity. This could include flex-time, remote work, or making up hours later in the week.
  2. Confidential conversations with HR
    Consider having a confidential conversation with HR to explore what options and accommodations are available to you. Many companies have policies around medical leave that you may not be aware of.
  3. Utilize Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)
    Some workplaces offer Employee Assistance Programs that provide confidential counseling, including mental health support for fertility-related stress. Take advantage of these resources if they’re available.
  4. Request a reduced workload
    If your job allows, consider asking for a reduced workload or temporary job-share arrangement during periods of intensive treatment. This can help manage your stress while maintaining your professional responsibilities. Your occupational health department (if you have one) will be able to help with this.
  5. Access to fertility benefits
    Check with your HR department to see if your company offers fertility treatment coverage or wellness benefits. If not, inquire about external resources or advocacy groups that might provide assistance.
  6. Join a support network
    Whether online or in person, joining a fertility support group can be a game-changer. Knowing you’re not alone and sharing your experiences with others in the same boat can make a huge difference. But, use these resources with care. If you find the distress of others too much, or if seeing others celebrate their pregnancies cuts too deeply, be prepared to step away.
  7. Create boundaries around work stress
    Fertility struggles are all-consuming, and burnout happens faster when you’re pushing yourself to be perfect at work. Set boundaries by letting go of tasks that are non-essential or requesting extensions on deadlines.
  8. Educate your boss without oversharing
    You don’t need to disclose all the details, but it’s okay to let your manager know that you’re dealing with a medical issue that requires flexibility. A simple heads-up can pave the way for a more understanding and supportive work environment. See below for a suggested email template that you can copy and paste to send to your boss.
  9. Prioritise rest and recovery
    Fertility treatments can be emotionally and physically exhausting, so it’s important to factor in rest and recovery where possible . Instead of pushing through non-stop, try scheduling moments of downtime during your work day. Whether that’s taking a short walk, doing a quick mindfulness exercise, or allowing yourself a proper lunch break. These small moments of rest can help prevent burnout and maintain your emotional well-being, without needing to take extended time off.
  10. Focus on self-care outside of work
    Your journey doesn’t stop when you leave the office. Prioritize self-care practices that help reduce stress, like meditation, therapy, or simply taking time to rest and relax.

Email Outline for Requesting Time Off for Fertility Appointments

Here’s an outline of how you can draft an email to your boss when requesting time off for medical appointments related to fertility treatments. Feel free to copy and paste with your edits as you see fit:

Subject: Request for Flexible Time Off for Medical Appointments

Dear [Boss’s Name],

I hope this email finds you well. I’m writing to let you know that I’m currently undergoing medical treatment that requires several upcoming appointments, and I will need some flexibility in my schedule to attend these. The times and dates required for these appointments are:

[list dates, if known]

I am fully committed to meeting my work responsibilities and will ensure that any missed time is made up accordingly. If needed, I’d be happy to discuss how we can best manage this during the treatment period.

Thank you for your understanding and support. Please let me know if you’d like to discuss this further.

Kind regards,
[Your Name]

Final Thoughts on successfully navigating fertility problems at work

Navigating fertility struggles is hard enough without the additional weight of workplace stress. But, by creating a plan that includes practical solutions and healthy boundaries, you can reduce the chances of burnout and take better care of yourself. Everyone’s journey is different, but you don’t have to walk it alone. Seek support, set boundaries, and remember that your well-being matters just as much as your work performance.

6 powerful ways to help working moms overcome burnout

Hey there, mama! Today’s post focuses on the factors that cause burnout at work. You’ll learn exactly how and why you’re disproportionately at risk as a mom, and then you’ll learn 6 powerful ways to help working moms overcome burnout.

Burnout isn’t just about feeling tired, it’s complete physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. And let’s be honest: as a working mom, burnout hits differently.

The size and scale of the problem for working moms to overcome burnout

It’s no secret that working moms are at a higher risk of burnout, and the stats back it up. First, 86% of working moms report feeling exhausted by balancing work and family responsibilities (according to a study by Motherly in 2021). If that wasn’t enough, research from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research found that working mothers are 28% more likely to experience burnout compared to fathers. And get this—according to a report by McKinsey & LeanIn.org, one in three working moms is considering downshifting her career or leaving the workforce altogether due to burnout (click here to read more). When you’re carrying the mental load of both work and home, it’s no wonder the burnout rate is through the roof!

In two previous posts, you learned about the six work factors that can cause burnout. If you haven’t already familiarised yourself with these six work factors, please click here to read part one, and here to read part two. Now, for those of you balancing work and family life, these factors often go into overdrive. Working moms are more at risk of burnout than working dads and women without children. So, let’s start by understanding how these six factors hit working moms harder than most. Then you’ll get some practical, mom-tested advice on how to tackle each one head-on! Read on to find out how working moms can overcome burnout!

The Six Work Factors That Cause stress at work (And Why They’re Harder for Working moms)

the 6 factors that cause burnout in working moms: lack of control at home and work, lack of reward, values mismatch, lack of community, not being treated fairly, heavy workload
The 6 factors that cause burnout in working moms
  1. Control
    Ah, control—remember that?! When was the last time you felt in control of anything? For working mums, control over your workday is often laughable. Between a 9 a.m. meeting, a sick kid at home, and the last-minute school project, “control” becomes a myth. In burnout, lack of control at work is a risk factor for burnout. But, for moms you’re much more likely to find it hard to find control at work- and at home.
  2. Reward
    Being adequately rewarded for the work you do is protective against burnout. It doesn’t necessarily have to be financial reward here- opportunities for positive feedback, professional development, and doing rewarding work also help protect against burnout. The trouble is that moms work hard both at home and at the office. Whilst the labour at home is rewarding, it’s also unpaid. Your hard work is often unappreciated by your loved ones (or at least, they might not vocalise their gratitude!). When’s the last time someone handed you a trophy for surviving the day? Or a pay raise for juggling ten things at once? For working moms, the feeling of being under-rewarded is magnified because you’re constantly giving without much in return.
  3. Values mismatch
    Having a kid, like any major life event, changes what’s important to you. You want to be a present parent, but your boss wants you to be available 24/7. That clash in values—between being a good parent and a good employee—leaves working moms feeling like they’re always failing somewhere. This values mismatch puts working moms at disproportionate burnout risk.
  4. Community
    A supportive community means everything when it comes to effective burnout prevention. But- whether it’s your workplace community or your ‘village’ at home, feeling isolated is really common among working moms. You might be surrounded by people, but who really understands your daily challenges? If you don’t have a village, then you’ll be at risk of burnout.
  5. Fairness
    If you’re not treated fairly at work by your employer, then the stress it causes can factor into the development of burnout. But the workplace isn’t just the only place where moms feel unfairly treated. Ever notice how you’re doing the same work as everyone else but with added mental load? “Fair” can feel like a foreign concept when you’re balancing unpaid household labor on top of your job. (click here to read more about how women take on more of the domestic load, and how it can cause burnout).
  6. Workload
    Oh boy, where do we even start? Your workload is like an all-you-can-eat buffet that just never ends, with side orders of school pick-ups, laundry, and dinner-making. Not only does a heavy workload in your job risk burnout, for working moms, the workload both at home and at work can feel an impossible juggle.

Tackling These Factors: Practical, Real-World Solutions for Working moms to overcome burnout

1. Control: how to regain it (yes, really!)

As a working mom, you can’t control everything, but you can focus on the little things. Control doesn’t have to mean re-organizing your entire life—it can be as simple as setting small boundaries. Here’s the cool thing about control in burnout prevention: simply believing you have control over your work and life is enough to prevent burnout (this is because those that believe this then go on to make changes that reduce burnout!).

Three things you can do:

  • Time blocking: Allocate specific time slots for work, family, and you. And yes, that you time is mandatory.
  • Delegate at work and home: Get comfortable with asking for help, whether it’s a team member at work or your partner at home. This is tough but essential to get a handle on your stress levels.
  • Say no more often: Boundaries are your best friend. Practice saying no to those extra requests that push you to the limit. It’s a form of self-care!

2. Reward: finding it where you can

If you’re not getting rewards from your boss (hello, pay gap), it’s time to create your own sense of accomplishment.

Three things you can do:

  • Celebrate your wins: Small victories deserve recognition. Did you manage to cook dinner AND make that deadline? Treat yourself to your favorite snack or a 30-minute Netflix binge.
  • Find meaning in your work:  If possible, focus on the tasks that make you feel good. Even if it’s just 20% of your day, doing something that energizes you makes a big difference.
  • Create mini-rewards:  Set small goals and reward yourself. Finished the laundry pile? Take a bubble bath. Got through your inbox? Have a dance party with your kids.

3. Values mismatch: making it work

When your personal values don’t align with your workplace, it can feel like an uphill battle. But instead of switching jobs, try creating alignment where you can. If you’re not sure what your values are, start with this list here.

Three things you can do:

  • Find overlap: Identify the common ground between your values and your job. If you value flexibility, negotiate for it—maybe not today, but it’s worth a try!
  • Be vocal: Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs and values to your employer. Sometimes, it takes a conversation to shift expectations.
  • Own your personal mission: Whether at work or home, make your values clear to yourself and others. Even if it’s just saying, “I prioritize family dinners,” own it unapologetically. Remember, you don’t need to explain your priorities to anyone else.

4. Community: building your village

You need your people—both at work and at home. Building a community that understands the struggle can take some work, but please do prioritise this. It will make such a difference to how you feel about your work and life.

Three things you can do:

  • Join a values- aligned mom group: Whether online or in-person, find a group of moms who get it. Sharing struggles and wins can make a world of difference. Just make sure that the group you’re going to join shares your values. If you’re ruthlessly practical then you won’t find the support you need in a crunchy mama group!
  • Leverage work relationships:  If possible, form a support system at work with colleagues who also juggle similar responsibilities.
  • Outsource help: It’s okay to get help where you can, whether it’s a cleaner, babysitter, or meal delivery service. You can’t do it all, and that’s okay.

5. Fairness: level the playing field

Let’s face it, working moms often take on more than their fair share. Tackling fairness starts with acknowledging the imbalance and taking steps to fix it. Just FYI, the advice below is optional. Tackling an unfair work culture is tough when you’re already stressed and feeling vulnerable. You don’t have to take on more if you don’t want to.

Three things you can do:

  • Speak up: Advocate for fairness at work and at home. If you’re doing more than your share, it’s time to have that tough conversation—whether with your boss or your family.
  • Track your time:  Keep a log of how much time you spend on work vs. household tasks. This can help you (and others) see where the imbalance lies.
  • Outsource when possible: Yes, we’re back to outsourcing. Whether it’s hiring someone to help with household chores or delegating more at work, reducing your load can help create fairness.

6. Workload: simplifying the chaos

When you’re juggling ten balls at once, it’s no wonder burnout hits hard. Reducing your workload might sound impossible, but there are ways to make it more manageable.

Three things you can do:

  • Prioritize ruthlessly:  What’s urgent, and what can wait? Learn to be okay with letting the non-essential tasks slide. Read this post on how you can use my reworked Mom version of the Eisenhower Matrix!
  • Batch tasks:  Group similar tasks together to make them more efficient. This works for both work and home—think meal prepping or knocking out emails in one go.
  • Take breaks:  I know, breaks feel like a luxury, but they’re crucial. Set a timer for 5-minute breathers during your workday and resist the urge to fill that time with something “productive.” Make a lovely coffee and savor it. Or, perhaps you could take a moment to get some fresh air? It all adds up.

Final Thoughts for working moms to overcome burnout

Working moms face burnout on a whole different level! But, with some self-awareness and practical steps, you can start taking control (yes, even if it’s just a little) and feel more in charge of your life again. Remember, you’re already doing an amazing job. So here’s to keeping it real, staying strong, and giving yourself a little more grace every day! You’ve absolutely got this.

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10 challenges working moms face returning to work after burnout (and how to overcome them)

If you’re a working mom who’s taken time off, the prospect of returning to work after burnout can feel daunting, if not downright terrifying. One of the key features of the burnout recovery process is that it takes so much longer than hoped to recover completely. The average burnout recovery takes 1-3 years. But, if you have taken sick leave then the average time off in burnout is 3.5 months. Therefore, it is critically important to appreciate that if you have taken sick leave, you will be returning to work long before you are fully recovered.

What this means in practice is that you must make changes at work to prevent your burnout from getting worse again. You’re going to be going back to work at a potentially vulnerable period of your recovery.

How to overcome the challenges of going back to work after burnout (without burning out again)
How to overcome the challenges of going back to work after burnout (without burning out again)

The idea of re-entering the workforce might very well make you want to crawl back under the duvet (and who could blame you!). But don’t panic! Returning to work after burnout is possible. Returning to work and staying well is also possible. Yes, it’s challenging, but with the right plan and support system, you can re-enter the workplace in a way that is sustainable, healthy, and balanced. In this post, you’ll explore some of the core challenges that moms face when returning to work after burnout. Most importantly, you’ll also read some actionable advice to help you transition back into your career without losing the hard-earned peace you’ve found.

The Core Challenges of Returning to Work After Burnout for working moms- and how to overcome them

Burnout isn’t just about being tired—it’s about feeling completely depleted, mentally, emotionally, and physically. If you’re a working mom who’s taken time off to recover, returning to the office (or your work-from-home desk) can feel like trying to climb Everest in flip-flops. But, fear not, you can navigate this transition successfully!

Let’s dive into the 10 biggest challenges you’ll face when going back to work after burnout and, most importantly, how to tackle them with compassion, practicality… and maybe a touch of humor.

The 10 core challenges of returning to work after burnout: Fear of relapse Feeling guilty for taking time off Worry about what colleagues will think Reduced energy levels Fear of overwhelm Unrealistic expectations Changed workplace dynamics Maintaining work-life balance Worry about competence Feeling isolated/unsupported
The core challenges of returning to work after burnout

Challenge #1: Fear of Relapsing into Burnout

The number one fear when returning to work after burnout? Ending up right back where you started—overwhelmed, exhausted, and heading toward burnout 2.0.

The solution: set firm boundaries on returning to work after burnout

Don’t fall into the same habits that led to burnout. Be clear about your limits from the outset.

Actionable tip: Practice saying “no.” You don’t have to be available for every meeting or project. Block off time in your schedule for “deep work” or self-care breaks—and treat these as non-negotiable.

Bonus tip: If you want to return to work and avoid relapse then you must tackle the root cause of the burnout in the first place. There are 6 work factors that cause burnout- read more about them in part one here, and part two here. Take some time to identify which ones have affected you, and take steps to reduce their impact using the exercises and advice provided.

Challenge #2: Feeling Guilt for Taking Time Off

Working moms are notorious for feeling guilty, and when you add time off for burnout, it really does feel like you’ve failed, or -worse- let others down.

The solution: embrace the power of self compassion

Guilt isn’t your friend here. You took time off to heal, and that was the best thing you could do for everyone—including your family and colleagues.

Actionable tip: When the guilt creeps in, remind yourself that burnout is the result of prolonged stress at work. In fact, it is considered to be the body’s normal response to long term stress. It isn’t even officially recognised as a medical or mental health problem! It is therefore not a weakness. Repeat the mantra: “I am not a robot. I deserve rest, recovery, and wellbeing.”

Challenge #3: Worry About What Colleagues Will Think

You’re concerned that coworkers might see you differently or doubt your abilities now that you’ve taken time off for burnout. You might even feel that you owe them an explanation about why you’ve been off.

The solution: decide how much you’re willing to share before you return to work, and own your decision

You don’t have to share anything with your colleagues if you don’t feel comfortable to. But, you’ll need to be prepared in case of any questions. If you decide not to talk about the reasons for your sick leave, this is absolutely fine. Ensure that you have a one-line statement prepared to use when you’re asked.

If you decide that you are happy to share why you’ve been off, then be proud of the fact that you took proactive steps to prioritize your mental health. Remember, there’s no need to over explain yourself.

Actionable tip: Prepare a simple statement to address it: “I took some time to recharge, and now I’m ready to give my best to the work that matters most.”

Challenge #4: Reduced Energy Levels

Burnout recovery doesn’t end when you clock back in. Your energy reserves might still be low, and you can’t just jump back in at full throttle. Remember that you’re still only months into a recovery that will take years to be complete.

The solution: manage your expectations about your productivity and performance on returning to work after burnout

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was your career. Ease back into your work routine and be realistic about what you can handle. This can be very challenging for the personality types that tend to burn out!

Actionable tip: Organize your tasks using the “energy ladder”—tackle the high-energy tasks when you’re feeling freshest and save lower-energy work for the afternoon when you’re naturally more drained.

Challenge #5: The Fear of Overwhelm

The thought of juggling work, kids, and home life all over again might feel overwhelming. Your to-do list may look more like a novel than a checklist.

The Solution: learn to delegate

You don’t have to do everything yourself. Delegate tasks both at work and at home.

Actionable tip: Make a list of all the tasks you can delegate—whether that’s having a coworker take on some projects or getting help at home. Then actually delegate them! This isn’t failure; it’s smart time management.

Challenge #6: Unrealistic Expectations

You might have grand ideas about returning to work and immediately being the powerhouse you were before. But burnout changes things, and that’s okay.

The solution: learn to pace yourself

Recognize that you are not the same person who left, and that’s actually a good thing. You’re coming back with new perspectives and priorities. Don’t take on too much too soon- build up gradually. Think of it like you’re returning to the gym after time out for a physical injury. If you broke your ankle 6 weeks ago, you’re not going to run a marathon the first time you step foot on a treadmill! You’re going to be cautious and build up your strength and stamina over time. You must take the same approach with return to work after burnout.

Actionable tip: Break your goals into bite-sized, manageable pieces. Celebrate small wins—whether it’s finishing a report or just getting through a meeting without feeling frazzled.

Challenge #7: Workplace Dynamics Have Changed

Maybe there’s been a restructure, or your team dynamics have shifted while you were away. Walking into a changed work environment can feel disorienting.

The solution: communicate and reconnect

If you can, catching up with your boss before you return to talk about any changes that have happened in your absence is a great place to start. On return, take time to get caught up on any changes and reconnect with colleagues. It’s okay to admit you’re feeling a little out of the loop.

Actionable tip: Schedule one-on-one coffee chats or video calls with key team members. Ask them to bring you up to speed on what’s changed, and let them know you’re excited to collaborate again.

Challenge #8: Struggling to Maintain Work-Life Balance on return to work after burnout

It is essential that you avoid bringing work home with you after burnout- you don’t want to end up in a cycle of overwork and increasing stress like before, and run the risk of another episode of burnout.

The solution: create non-negotiable work-life boundaries

Work can wait. Your mental health and family cannot. Stick to your working hours and carve out personal time that’s sacred.

Actionable tip: Set “no work” zones. This might be no checking emails after 6 p.m. or not working on weekends unless absolutely necessary. Communicate these boundaries to your team (and yourself!) early and often.

Challenge #9: Worry About Competence

It’s normal to worry if you’ve “still got it” after time away. You might fear that your skills are rusty or that you won’t be able to keep up with the fast pace.

The solution: focus on what you can control

You’re still the capable, talented person you were before burnout. Trust your abilities, and remember that learning curves are normal.

Actionable tip: Before you return, brush up on key skills or take a refresher course in your field to boost your confidence. This proactive step will make you feel more in control and prepared. Alternatively, do the circle of control exercise as outlined in this article.

Challenge #10: Feeling Isolated or Unsupported

Coming back to work after such a personal struggle can feel isolating, especially if you’re not sure how to talk about it.

The solution: build your support network

You don’t have to go through this alone. Whether it’s a mentor at work, a fellow working mom, or a coach, surround yourself with people who “get it.” The research on burnout is very clear: supportive relationships are one of the key predictors of a successful burnout recovery. Therefore, building your support network is essential.

Actionable tip: Join a working mom or wellness group at work, or create one if it doesn’t exist! Being around others who share your challenges makes a world of difference. Keep open lines of communication with your manager and advocate for yourself when needed.

Final Thoughts about returning to work after burnout

Returning to work after burnout isn’t just about going back to your job. Rather, it’s about re-entering the workforce on your terms, with healthier boundaries, better priorities, and renewed strength. You’ve already done a huge amount of hard work in both recognizing, and starting the healing process from burnout. You must return with improved coping strategies for your stress, new boundaries, and a clearer understanding of your needs. With a thoughtful approach and a focus on your well-being, you can return to work, reclaim your energy, and build a sustainable career that works for you.

Take it one step at a time, and remember: progress is progress, no matter how slow it seems (or, indeed if it feels that you are taking steps back). Thanks to your burnout, you now know better than ever how to take care of yourself going forward.

If you’d like to hear more about my own thoughts about returning to work after burnout, then please do listen to this podcast where I talk to Dr Katya Miles about exactly this!

In this episode, we cover:


Why you need time off work with burnout
What things you need to do to prepare to return to work after burnout
Who you need to help you to return to work well
What changes and/or reasonable adjustments might be helpful for your return, both in the short term and in the long term
What a realistic return to work looks and feels like.


Whilst both Katya and I are both doctors, today’s episode is for anyone who is returning to work after burnout and a period of sick leave.

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