January 2, 2025

Proven strategies to prevent and avoid burnout in 2025

Here’s exactly how you can avoid burnout in 2025.

Burnout isn’t new, but its causes and consequences are evolving. With the rise of remote work and hybrid setups, many professionals are grappling with unique challenges that impact their work-life balance. According to the World Health Organization, burnout is a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed, often leading to emotional exhaustion, reduced performance, and feelings of detachment.

Burnout is a multifaceted challenge influenced by both workplace factors and individual vulnerabilities. You can create a more positive work environment by addressing the six key drivers of burnout—control, fairness, values, workload, community, and rewards. Equally important is managing personal risks such as stress coping mechanisms, personality traits, neurodiversity, and mental health challenges. Proactive solutions like job crafting, time-blocking, gratitude journaling, and trauma-informed self-care are grounded in neuroscience and psychology, offering practical ways to build resilience and prevent emotional exhaustion. With these strategies, sustainable success and a balanced personal and professional life are within reach.

This guide will explore how to avoid burnout in 2025 by addressing the six work factors that most commonly contribute to it. You’ll also learn effective strategies to successfully manage your risk of burnout. Your goal? To thrive both in your personal life and your professional roles.

About the author

Dr Claire Ashley is a doctor with years of experience helping professionals create positive work environments. Passionate about blending psychology, neuroscience, and practical solutions, she provides engaging online discussions, interactive workshops, and live online sessions to promote sustainable well-being. Her first book, The Burnout Doctor, is being published internationally on 30th January 2025- pre-order your copy now by clicking here!

The six work factors that cause burnout and how to manage them to avoid burnout in 2025

Discover the 6 work factors that cause burnout- and how to avoid them in 2025

1. Lack of control

Feeling powerless in your current job—from unclear expectations or micromanagement—creates high-stress levels. This lack of autonomy increases the risk of burnout.

Proactive solution to avoid burnout in 2025: Incorporate “job crafting” into your routine. This strategy, backed by studies, involves adjusting how you complete tasks or interact with colleagues to better align with your strengths and values. For example, if you excel at mentoring team members, propose a peer specialist program to HR leaders.

Why it works: Job crafting enhances autonomy, which research shows reduces workplace stress and increases job satisfaction. By reshaping aspects of your role, you feel more empowered and engaged.

2. Unfair treatment at work

When employees perceive favoritism, inconsistent rules, or toxic work environments, their motivation plummets.

Proactive solution: Advocate for open communication and regular check-ins. Suggest using an anonymous engagement tool like Officevibe to gather feedback and promote fairness within your team.

Why it works: Open communication builds trust and ensures fairness by giving all staff members a voice. Regular feedback mechanisms highlight inequities early, improving employee morale and retention rates.

3. Misalignment of values

Working in a role that clashes with your core beliefs or personal goals breeds discontent and chronic stress.

Proactive solution: Identify your “non-negotiables” during a dedicated time of self-reflection. Then, communicate them with HR leaders to ensure your job responsibilities and company culture align with what matters most to you.

Why it works: Aligning personal values with workplace demands reduces cognitive dissonance, a known stressor. When employees work in environments that reflect their core beliefs, they feel more fulfilled and motivated.

4. Excessive workload

An overwhelming workload or constant pressure to meet deadlines leads to emotional exhaustion.

Proactive solution: Practice time-blocking with a twist inspired by Cal Newport’s “Deep Work.” Dedicate your first two hours each morning to undistracted, high-priority tasks, and reserve afternoons for simpler tasks and regular breaks.

Why it works: Focusing on high-priority tasks during peak productivity hours helps you accomplish more in less time, decreasing the likelihood of emotional exhaustion. This method also ensures you incorporate recovery periods into your day, which combat the effects of long hours.

5. Lack of community

Feeling isolated at work reduces employee morale and increases signs of burnout. Social interactions are crucial for employee engagement and job satisfaction.

Proactive solution: Organize interactive workshops or live online sessions where staff members can collaborate and connect. Hybrid work models also benefit from virtual coffee breaks for informal chats.

Why it works: Building a sense of community boosts employee engagement and satisfaction. Positive social interactions reduce workplace stress and create an environment where team members feel valued.

6. Inadequate rewards

A lack of recognition—whether financial or emotional—leads to disengagement.

Proactive solution: Start a “recognition jar” initiative. Team members write down positive notes about peers’ contributions, which are read aloud during meetings to boost employee satisfaction and morale.

Why it works: Recognition activates the brain’s reward system, increasing dopamine levels and reinforcing positive behaviors. Feeling appreciated enhances job satisfaction and reduces signs of employee burnout.

Managing individual risks to avoid burnout in 2025

Discover how you can manage your stress better to avoid burnout in 2025

1. Coping with stress

Some stress management techniques work better than others, depending on the individual. Chronic stress often stems from poor coping habits.

Proactive solution to avoid burnout in 2025: Try the “5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique” during stressful moments. This mindfulness exercise helps reduce blood pressure and anxiety by focusing on your senses. This technique asks you to focus on 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.

Why it works: Grounding techniques interrupt spiraling thoughts by engaging your senses, which calms your nervous system and reduces symptoms of chronic stress.

2. Personality type

Perfectionists or individuals with high expectations for themselves often face greater risks of burnout.

Proactive solution: Use “compassionate self-talk.” Remind yourself, “Hard work is enough,” and celebrate small wins with a gratitude journal to combat unrealistic expectations.

Why it works: Self-compassion reduces the pressure of perfectionism and prevents burnout by shifting focus from shortcomings to achievements. Gratitude journaling rewires your brain to focus on positive experiences, fostering resilience.

3. Neurodiversity

Neurodivergent individuals may struggle with rigid workplace norms, increasing workplace stress.

Proactive solution: Request flexible schedules and advocate for inclusive tools and reasonable adjustments, which can help you manage life-work assignments and decrease burnout.

Why it works: Flexibility allows neurodivergent individuals to work during their most productive times, accommodating their unique needs. Tools like Trello provide visual organization, making complex tasks easier to manage.

4. Childhood trauma

Unresolved trauma may amplify symptoms of burnout due to heightened sensitivity to stress.

Proactive solution: Enroll in a trauma-informed online course or connect with mental health providers offering virtual counseling services.

Why it works: Trauma-informed approaches address underlying triggers that exacerbate workplace stress. Therapy and education empower you to manage emotions effectively and prevent burnout.

5. Current mental health problems

Existing issues like anxiety or depression magnify burnout’s impact.

Proactive solution: Dedicate time to regular mental health days outside of work. Use this opportunity to engage in self-care activities like nature walks or virtual therapy sessions. Please also speak to your doctor so that you can manage your current mental health problems effectively.

Why it works: Mental health days provide a break from constant pressure, giving your mind and body a chance to recover. Self-care activities lower stress levels and improve overall well-being.

6. Introversion

Introverts often feel drained by dual roles requiring extensive social interactions.

Proactive solution: Set boundaries for screen time and social interactions. Schedule “no-meeting afternoons” to recharge without sacrificing employee well-being.

Why it works: Introverts recharge through solitude. Limiting overstimulation during peak energy-draining periods helps maintain their engagement and productivity.

7. Imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome feeds self-doubt, which can exacerbate workplace stress and burnout.

Proactive solution: Use the “fake it till you make it” strategy with a twist: set small, achievable goals that demonstrate your expertise, building confidence incrementally.

Why it works: Breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps creates a track record of success, countering feelings of inadequacy. Confidence builds over time as you achieve consistent wins.

8. Perfectionism

Perfectionism can lead to long hours and loss of motivation when outcomes fall short of high expectations.

Proactive solution: Adopt the “80% rule.” Stop tweaking projects once they’re “good enough” to maintain sustainable success and overall performance.

Why it works: The “80% rule” prevents you from overinvesting time and energy in diminishing returns. Letting go of unattainable standards reduces stress while still delivering quality results.

By understanding the psychology and neuroscience behind these solutions, you can integrate them into your daily life with confidence that they will make a difference.

Final thoughts on how to successfully avoid burnout in 2025

Burnout is a common challenge in today’s high-pressure work environments, but the good news is that it’s preventable. You can avoid burnout in 2025 by addressing the six core factors of workplace burnout and managing your risks. By using the solutions presented in this article, you can achieve both long-term success and sustainable well-being.

The Stress Continuum Model: a first call to care

The stress continuum model is a powerful, evidence-based tool that helps you understand your stress levels at any given time. Stress is unavoidable, especially for working moms juggling careers, kids, and everything in between. But not all stress is bad! Originally developed by the US Marine Corps to address stress in combat settings, the stress continuum model is now used by individuals, families, and organizations to monitor and manage stress before it becomes overwhelming. In this article you’ll discover what the stress continuum is, why it’s such a great tool for working moms, how to use it in your daily life, and what to do immediately depending on which stage you’re in. Read on to take the first steps to managing your stress before it starts to manage you!

About the author:

Dr Claire Ashley is a writer, mental health advocate, and mom of two who understands the daily challenges of juggling work, parenting, and self-care. With a background in creating relatable, evidence-based content, she’s passionate about providing working moms practical tools to manage stress and build more balanced, fulfilling lives. Her debut book, The Burnout Doctor, is being published on January 30th 2025. You can preorder at all good bookstores. Alternatively, click to order on Amazon (aff link).

What is the stress continuum?

The stress continuum model categorizes stress into four zones:

Green Zone (ready): You’re calm, focused, and in control. Stress is manageable, and you’re thriving.

Yellow Zone (reacting): You’re experiencing stress reactions, like irritability, trouble sleeping, or mild anxiety. Stress is present but not debilitating.

Orange Zone (injured): You’re dealing with stress injuries, such as prolonged anxiety, mood swings, or physical exhaustion.

Red Zone (ill): Chronic stress has led to major depression, substance abuse, or other serious mental health issues requiring immediate intervention.

This model offers a common language to discuss psychological health and stress, helping you identify when your stress is creeping into dangerous territory.

Below is an infographic of the stress continuum. Feel free to pin it, or copy and paste into your notes app for easy reference! Image credit: https://cohcwcovidsupport.org

A colour coded infographic explains the stress continuum model. Starting with a green column (thriving), moving to yellow (surviving), orange (struggling) and red (in crisis).

Why the stress continuum is such a great tool for working moms

1. It helps you catch stress early.
The stress continuum provides clear markers to identify when stress is no longer manageable. For example, if you notice you’ve been snapping at your kids or struggling with delivery time at work, it’s a sign you’re moving from the green zone to the yellow zone.

2. It’s simple to use.
The model is visual and intuitive, making it easy to monitor your stress on a regular basis. You don’t need to be a therapist to understand where you stand.

3. It’s actionable.
Once you know your zone, you can take steps to get back to psychological health before things spiral.

Whilst it was originally developed to help service members, this tool isn’t just for combat settings—it’s a lifesaver for anyone facing chronic stress, including working moms. By using the stress continuum, you can spot unmanaged stress early and take steps to prevent burnout. It’s like having a personal radar for your mental health!

How to use the stress continuum in your daily life

1. Check in regularly.
Set a reminder to assess your stress levels daily or weekly. Ask yourself:

Am I calm and focused? (Green Zone)
Am I starting to feel overwhelmed? (Yellow Zone)
Am I constantly stressed or emotionally drained? (Orange Zone)
Am I completely burned out? (Red Zone)

2. Track patterns over time.
Use a journal or app to log your zones each day. If you notice frequent shifts into the orange zone, it’s time to address the underlying causes of your stress.

3. Discuss with family members/friends
The stress continuum model isn’t just for you—it can also help your partner, children and friends recognize their stress levels. Sharing this common language makes it easier to support each other during stressful situations.

Immediate actions for each zone on the stress continuum

Depending on where you fall on the stress continuum, here are practical ways to manage your stress effectively:

Green Zone: Keep thriving

Stick to routines: Maintain habits like exercise, healthy eating, and quality sleep to stay balanced.
Prioritize self-care: Take time for hobbies, mindfulness, or even a yoga class.
Build strong relationships: Connect with friends and family to reinforce your support network.

Yellow Zone: Slow down

Identify triggers: Pinpoint what’s pushing you into the yellow zone (e.g., too many household responsibilities or work deadlines).
Practice relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, short walks, or meditation can lower stress.
Set boundaries: Say “no” to extra tasks that aren’t a core function of your priorities.

Orange Zone: Take action

Seek professional help: A therapist or counselor can help address stress injuries before they escalate.
Reevaluate commitments: Reduce your load by delegating tasks or stepping back from nonessential activities.
Tap into your community: Lean on your marine spouse friends, family members, or a support group for guidance.

Red Zone: Get immediate support

Contact a professional: Reach out to a mental health professional for evaluation and treatment.
Inform trusted people: Let your partner, family, or boss know you’re struggling so they can help.
Avoid harmful coping mechanisms: Replace unhealthy habits like alcohol with healthier outlets, such as journaling or calling a friend.

Final thoughts on the stress continuum

As a working mom, your plate is always full, and stress is inevitable. The stress continuum model gives you a simple tool to monitor your stress levels, respond effectively, and stay in control. Whether you’re in the green zone or approaching the red zone, the key is to check in with yourself, take proactive steps, and seek professional help when needed.

By making this part of your routine, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the ups and downs of work, family, and everything in between.

If you enjoyed this article, you’ll love my weekly email newsletter, The Phoenix. Packed full of advice to help doctor you to manage stress, overcome burnout, and create an amazing career (but without the bro BS!). Click here to sign up now.

As always, I am happy to answer any comments you have about the stress continuum in the comments!

References

US Marine Corps Operational Stress Control and Readiness (OSCAR) Program. Stress Continuum Model. Retrieved from https://www.marines.mil/portals/1/Publications/MCTP%203-30E%20Formerly%20MCRP%206-11C.pdf
American Psychological Association Stress Reactions and Mental Health. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/topics/stress

December 5, 2024

How to overcome perfectionism and burnout as a working mom

Perfectionism is the relentless pursuit of unattainably high standards, often fueled by internal pressures and societal expectations. For a working mom, this manifests in various ways: striving for a spotless home, preparing Instagram-worthy meals, ensuring young children excel in every activity, and climbing the corporate ladder—all while being a “perfect mom.” This intense drive to meet unrealistic expectations can result in feelings of failure, even when you’re doing your absolute best. Social media often amplifies these pressures, showcasing picture-perfect families that create a false sense of what being a “good mom” looks like. The symptoms of mom burnout—physical exhaustion, emotional health struggles, and a pervasive sense of “not enough time”—are often rooted in the inability to let go of perfectionism.

In this article, you can expect to learn how perfectionism shows up for working moms, its impact, the Perfectionist Cycle how to break it, and how perfectionism is linked to burnout. Finally, you’ll learn 5 practical ways you can successfully overcome perfectionism in your daily life, and feel less stressed!

About the author

Dr Claire Ashley is a passionate advocate for working moms and a soon-to-be-published author and public speaker specializing in stress management, burnout, and work-life balance. With personal experiences as a mother navigating societal pressures and professional challenges, she combines empathy with evidence-based advice to support moms striving for healthier, happier lives.

You can pre-order her debut book, The Burnout Doctor, from all good bookstores now!

How perfectionism shows up for working moms

Perfectionism is a mindset characterized by setting excessively high standards and striving for flawlessness, often accompanied by critical self-evaluation. For working moms, perfectionism can be a double-edged sword: while it may drive them to excel in their careers and personal lives, it often leads to burnout, guilt, and dissatisfaction when those standards feel unattainable. Let’s dive into what it feels like to experience perfectionism now:

1. Thoughts:
Perfectionist working moms often believe they must be the perfect parent and employee simultaneously. This might sound like:

“If I’m not doing it all, I’m failing.”
“There’s a right way to do everything, and I need to find it.”
“Other moms seem to manage it better than I do.”

Society often reinforces these thoughts through expectations from workplaces, social media, and family dynamics.

2. Feelings:
The emotional toll of perfectionism can manifest as:

Anxiety over incomplete tasks on your to-do list
Guilt for prioritizing work over child care or vice versa
Resentment about unmet high expectations, either their own or others

In some cases, these feelings can escalate to mental health challenges like postpartum depression or panic attacks, particularly when moms feel they are constantly falling short.

3. Actions:
Perfectionism impacts behavior, often leading to:

Over-committing at work and home, leaving not enough hours for rest
Micromanaging household responsibilities to maintain control
Avoiding hard conversations about workload or boundaries
Using unhelpful coping mechanisms like having a glass of wine (or several!), or stress-eating

If this sounds like you, read on!

The impact of perfectionism on working moms

Mental and emotional health

Constantly chasing perfection can deplete emotional reserves, leaving little space for joy or creativity. This may lead to chronic stress, which affects physical health, sleep quality, and resilience.

Time management challenges

Perfectionism often means spending excessive time on tasks that don’t align with a mom’s core values. For example, an hour perfecting a birthday cake might steal precious moments that could have been spent fostering strong relationships with their child or partner.

Work-life balance struggles

Perfectionism can cause working moms to view their dual roles as competing rather than complementary. Whether you’re working full-time or part-time, these moms often feel torn between achieving career success and being present at home.

The Perfectionist Cycle: how it traps you

Breaking the perfectionist cycle isn’t about lowering standards—it’s about choosing balance, self-care, and joy over the endless pursuit of "perfect." — Breaking the perfectionist cycle

Perfectionism is often fueled by the belief that achieving a lofty goal will finally bring relief, validation, or peace of mind. Instead, what typically happens is the perfectionist cycle:

Unrealistic expectations: Setting impossibly high standards for yourself, whether at work, at home, or in parenting.
Intense effort: Pouring immense time and energy into meeting these standards, often at the cost of physical and emotional health.
Momentary achievement: Reaching the goal, but finding only fleeting satisfaction.
Self-criticism: Instead of celebrating success, noticing minor flaws or ways you “could have done better.”
Raising the bar: Setting an even higher standard for the next goal, restarting the cycle.

For working moms, this cycle is everywhere: striving for a spotless home, meeting every family obligation, excelling in a demanding job, or trying to be a “perfect mom” who never misses a soccer game or bedtime story. The problem is that achievement doesn’t break the cycle. It feeds it. Each success only raises the stakes, increasing internal pressures and perpetuating the sense of “never enough.”

Why achievement doesn’t satisfy perfectionists

For perfectionists, the satisfaction of reaching a goal is overshadowed by the focus on perceived flaws and the next challenge. This is because perfectionism isn’t about the goal but the fear of failure, inadequacy, or judgment. External achievements can’t fix the internal fear or need for control that drives perfectionism. Instead, chasing perfection leaves moms physically exhausted, emotionally depleted, and at risk of parental burnout.

What breaks the perfectionist cycle if it’s not achievement or success?

The key to breaking free is letting go of perfectionism and embracing being “good enough.” This requires a mindset shift prioritizing self-compassion, personal growth, and aligning with core values rather than external validation. Here’s how working moms can achieve this:

Practice self-compassion: Replace harsh self-criticism with kindness. Treat yourself as you would a close friend.
Redefine success: Focus on progress, connection, and meaningful moments rather than flawless results.
Set healthy boundaries: Learn to say no to unrealistic expectations, whether from yourself, family members, or societal pressures.
Focus on emotional health: Prioritize personal time, stress management, and activities that nourish your well-being.
Celebrate small victories: Shift from chasing big achievements to appreciating the small steps and daily wins that reflect your hard work and love.

Working moms can take the first step by challenging the belief that their worth is tied to achievement. For instance, instead of striving for a spotless home, you might decide that a lived-in home filled with love is more meaningful. By building a support system, learning to ask for help, and practicing gratitude for what you’ve already achieved, you can finally step off the hamster wheel of perfectionism.

Breaking the perfectionist cycle isn’t about lowering standards—it’s about choosing balance, self-care, and joy over the endless pursuit of “perfect.”

How perfectionism leads to burnout

Burnout occurs when stress levels reach a breaking point, and for working moms, perfectionism is a key contributor. Here’s how perfectionism creates a vicious cycle leading to mommy burnout:

Unrealistic standards: Perfectionism sets moms up to feel like failures when you can’t do it all.
Excessive workload: Household chores, family obligations, and professional life pile up, creating mental and physical exhaustion.
Neglected boundaries: Many working moms have a hard time saying no, and overcommitting in your personal and professional lives.
Depleted resources: Without proper stress management, moms reach their breaking point, experiencing symptoms of burnout like fatigue, irritability, and a loss of joy in daily life.

Recognizing signs of burnout

Constant physical exhaustion that isn’t alleviated by rest
Increased feelings of mom guilt or inadequacy
A sense of detachment from family members, especially young children
Loss of motivation in professional or personal growth
Persistent stress or anxiety, even at the end of the day

So, managing any perfectionism that you’re experiencing isn’t just about making how you think, feel, and act feel easier and less stressful- it’ll also help you to avoid burnout.

Let’s move on to think about how you can achieve this!

5 practical ways working moms can overcome perfectionism in their daily lives

5 practical but life-changing ways working moms can overcome perfectionism in their daily lives. Reframe “perfect” as “aligned with your core values”
Challenge your inner critic with real-time statistics
Embrace “good enough” parenting
Practice self-compassion instead of guilt
Seek practical support and professional help

Read on to discover more and take your first steps towards a life free of perfectionism — 5 practical but life-changing ways working moms can overcome perfectionism in their daily lives

Let’s explore five realistic, research-backed ways to overcome perfectionism, grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and other evidence-based approaches.

1. Reframe “perfect” as “aligned with your core values”

Perfectionism often traps us into chasing an unattainable “right way” of doing things—whether at work or home. Instead, focus on what aligns with your core values.

Ask yourself: What truly matters to me as a mom and as a professional?
For example, if spending quality time with your kids is a priority, remind yourself that building Lego towers or chatting over dinner is far more valuable than meticulously cleaning the house.

Practical tip:

Write down your top three values—such as connection, growth, or health—and keep them visible. Use them as a compass to decide where to invest your time and energy.

2. Challenge your inner critic with real-time statistics

Your inner perfectionist thrives on exaggeration: “I never do enough!” or “I’m a bad mom because I missed the bake sale.” Combat these thoughts with real-time statistics.

Look at your day objectively. Did you complete a new project at work? Did you read to your child before bed? These are sure signs you’re showing up in meaningful ways.

Practical tip:

Keep a journal of your daily wins—big and small. Seeing your accomplishments on paper can provide a sense of accomplishment and reduce feelings of inadequacy.

3. Embrace “good enough” parenting

There’s no such thing as a perfect time or a perfect sense of balance between work and motherhood. Psychologists call this the “good enough parent” principle—accepting that your love and care are what truly make you a good mother, not your ability to do it all.

Remember: Kids don’t need perfect primary caregivers; they need present, responsive, and loving ones.

Practical tip:

When you’re tempted to overdo it (like staying up all night to craft the “perfect” birthday party), pause and ask: Will this effort align with my child’s needs—or my perfectionist expectations?

4. Practice self-compassion instead of guilt

Feeling guilty is almost a default setting for individual moms trying to juggle everything. Instead of beating yourself up, practice self-compassion. Studies show that self-compassion reduces stress and increases resilience.

Replace negative self-talk with kindness: “I’m doing the best I can with the resources I have.”

Practical tip:

When you feel guilt creeping in (e.g., for working late or taking time for yourself), treat yourself as you would a friend: would you berate them or offer understanding?

5. Seek practical support and professional help

Perfectionism often worsens in the face of a lack of support. Whether it’s societal expectations or personal pressure, no one can tackle everything alone.

Consider enlisting practical support, such as a babysitter, meal delivery service, or a therapist. Many American moms have found a positive impact from professional guidance, particularly with CBT techniques to reframe perfectionist thoughts.

Practical tip:

Take advantage of your community, whether that’s swapping help with other moms or exploring professional help like therapy. Seeking support is not a sign of failure—it’s a sign of strength.

Final thoughts: permit yourself to live a beautiful, imperfect life

Perfectionism may whisper that there’s a right time and best way to do everything. But the truth is that perfection isn’t the goal. The goal is connection, joy, and living in alignment with your values. For working moms, the last thing they need is more pressure. By embracing imperfection, prioritizing wisely, and seeking support, moms can find balance and peace in their beautifully imperfect lives.

As working moms, we’re told we can “have it all,” but perfectionism turns that promise into a burden. Worse, perfectionism and burnout often co-exist and feed into each other. By embracing strategies like aligning with your values, practicing self-compassion, and seeking support, you can create a beautiful life that’s meaningful, messy, and completely your own.

If you have any questions please feel free to leave them in the comments. I’ll answer each one personally.

Plus- if you enjoyed this article then you’ll love my weekly newsletter, The Phoenix. The Phoenix doctors working mothers to overcome stress, prevent burnout, and create careers that work for them. Sign up here.

References/Further reading

American Psychological Association. (2021). The impact of parental burnout. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/10/cover-parental-burnout
Mayo Clinic. (2023). Job burnout: How to spot it and take action. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/burnout/art-20046642
Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2022). Rising parental expectations linked to perfectionism in college students. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2022/03/parental-expectations-perfectionism
American Psychological Association. (2021). Understanding Perfectionism. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2011/perfectionism
Harris, R. (2009). ACT Made Simple: An Easy-to-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. New Harbinger Publications.

November 28, 2024

How to overcome imposter syndrome and burnout

If you’ve ever found yourself staring at an email draft for an hour because your inner voice insists it’s not good enough, or if you constantly feel like you’re just one mistake away from being exposed as a fraud, you’re not alone. For working moms juggling career ambitions, emotional health, and family life, impostor syndrome is the uninvited guest who often crashes the party. Pair that with burnout, and it’s a cocktail of chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and a persistent cycle of self-doubt.

Let’s break this down: in this article, you will learn what impostor syndrome is, why it’s tied to burnout (especially for working moms), the five subtypes of impostor syndrome, and therapeutic exercises tailored to each. Spoiler: there’s hope—and humor—along the way.

About the author

As a doctor and burnout expert, I’ve helped countless high-achieving women navigate impostor syndrome and reclaim joy in their work lives. I know firsthand the toll long hours and constant fear can take. Handing back my membership of the Imposter Syndrome Club formed a crucial part of my burnout recovery. My mission? To arm you with evidence-based tools so you can thrive—not just survive.

What is impostor syndrome?

Impostor syndrome (or impostor phenomenon) describes the persistent self-doubt and feelings of fraudulence experienced by high-achieving individuals, even in the face of objective success. It’s the “I don’t deserve to be here” mantra, despite clear evidence that you do.

Signs of impostor syndrome include:

Negative self-talk, like “I only got lucky” or “They’ll figure out I don’t belong here.”
Fear of failure and constant fear of being exposed as a fraud.
An unhealthy fixation on high standards and perfectionist tendencies.

Impostor syndrome is not just about you—external factors like workplace culture, family background, and systemic biases can fuel it. The systematic review of impostor phenomenon research consistently highlights its high prevalence among minority groups, medical workers, and knowledge workers, making it a hot topic in professional life and beyond.

The link between impostor syndrome and burnout

Impostor syndrome and burnout are toxic besties—they feed off each other in destructive ways. When you’re stuck in the impostor mindset, you overcompensate with long hours, additional responsibilities, and an obsessive need to prove yourself. This hard work can lead to high levels of stress, emotional exhaustion, and ultimately, burnout.

But imposter syndrome isn’t just a toxic friend to burnout, it’s also known to be a risk factor for it. Put simply, you’re more likely to burn out if you have Imposter Syndrome.

Burnout is more than just fatigue; it’s a state of chronic stress that can cause mental health symptoms like anxiety disorders, low self-esteem, and physical exhaustion. Here’s the kicker: because burnout can amplify feelings of inadequacy, it keeps the impostor cycle spinning.

Working moms are especially at risk. Why?

Competing priorities: Balancing professional life, personal life, and family responsibilities can create high levels of anxiety.
High standards: Many working moms hold themselves to perfectionist tendencies at home and work.
Workplace environments: Lack of social support or a toxic workplace culture exacerbates both impostor phenomenon and burnout.
Additional responsibilities: Being the “default parent” means even more mental load.
The “Supermom” myth: Society loves a good “doing it all” narrative, which sets impossibly high standards. The pressure to excel at work while being a Pinterest-perfect mom creates a never-ending cycle of guilt and inadequacy.
Gender bias: Research shows women are more likely to experience Imposter Syndrome than men, thanks to structural biases in the workplace. Working moms often feel scrutinized for choosing “career over kids” or vice versa.
Invisible labor: From scheduling doctor’s appointments to remembering to pack soccer snacks, moms often bear the brunt of the mental load, which makes burnout inevitable.

It’s no wonder so many working moms feel trapped in a cycle of self-doubt, long hours, and emotional exhaustion.

How impostor syndrome shows up for working moms

Impostor syndrome has a unique way of sneaking into the minds of working moms. It doesn’t just whisper, “You’re not good enough.” It adds, “…and you’re probably failing at everything.” Thanks for that, brain. Here’s how it typically manifests:

1. What you think because of imposter syndrome

“I’m not cut out for this.” Whether it’s managing a team at work or orchestrating a toddler’s meltdown-to-bedtime routine, impostor syndrome convinces moms that they’re winging it while everyone else has it all figured out. (Spoiler: No one has it all figured out.)
“I have to prove I deserve this job.” Despite years of hard work and glowing performance reviews, impostor syndrome can make working moms feel like they need to overcompensate to justify their spot at the table.
“I’m failing as a mom and an employee.” When you’re constantly pulled between personal life and professional life, it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough in either arena.

2. **What you feel because of imposter syndrome**

Persistent guilt: Moms with impostor syndrome often feel guilty for not being at home more—and guilty for not giving work their undivided attention. It’s a lose-lose scenario that fuels emotional exhaustion.
High levels of anxiety: Whether it’s double-checking emails at midnight or replaying a tense conversation with a family member, impostor syndrome keeps moms in a state of chronic stress.
Feelings of inadequacy: Even when juggling a packed schedule like a pro, working moms might feel like they’re barely keeping their heads above water. Cue the soundtrack of self-doubt: “You should be doing more.”

3. What you do differently because of imposter syndrome

Overwork to “prove” yourself: Working moms might log long hours or take on additional responsibilities they don’t have the bandwidth for, just to silence that nagging voice of inadequacy.
Downplay your successes: Impostor syndrome convinces moms that their wins are due to luck, a team member’s support, or timing—never their own talent and hard work. “Sure, the project went well, but I got lucky with the client.”
Avoid taking risks: Many working moms hesitate to go for a promotion, a leadership role, or even a new job because of the constant fear of failure. Better to stay in the comfort zone than risk exposing their “fraudulence,” right?
Micromanage and over-prepare: Impostor syndrome often shows up as perfectionist tendencies, like spending hours proofreading a report or obsessing over every detail of a school bake sale (even though no one actually cares about the frosting shade).

Why this cycle feels so relentless

The pressures working moms face—balancing work lives and family responsibilities, managing high levels of stress, and meeting high standards in every sphere—create the perfect storm for impostor syndrome to thrive. Add in workplace environments that might not fully support working parents and a societal tendency to glorify the “Supermom” archetype, and it’s easy to see how these feelings of fraudulence persist.

But here’s the truth: No one is nailing it 100% of the time. That mom who shows up to school drop-off with perfectly braided hair and an enviable job? She probably feels like a fraud sometimes, too. It’s not about being flawless—it’s about giving yourself grace where it matters most.

The Science Says…

A study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science found that 70% of people experience Imposter Syndrome at some point, with women and minorities disproportionately affected. Burnout, according to the World Health Organization, arises from chronic workplace stress, but when you add unpaid domestic labor to the mix, it becomes a double whammy for working moms.

The five types of impostor syndrome (and how to tackle them)

Psychologist Valerie Young identified five subtypes of impostor syndrome. Let’s dive into each, with a therapeutic exercise to combat the negative voice in your head.

1. The Perfectionist

Characteristics: Obsessive over details, afraid to delegate, and feels like nothing is ever “good enough.”
Your inner dialogue: “If it’s not 100% flawless, I’ve failed. No exceptions.”
Burnout Link: Perfectionists often work long hours trying to meet impossibly high standards, leading to emotional exhaustion. You’re stuck in an endless loop of striving for unattainable standards. Rest? Not in your vocabulary.

Therapeutic Exercise:

The “Good Enough” list

Write down 3 things you completed that were “good enough” rather than perfect.
Reflect: Did the world end because your toddler’s birthday cupcakes weren’t from scratch? (Spoiler: It didn’t.)

Evidence basis: Per Dr. Kristin Neff’s research on self-kindness, practicing self-compassion reduces stress and promotes resilience.

2. The Superwoman/Superman

Characteristics: Feels like a fraud unless they’re juggling everything flawlessly. Struggles with work-life balance.
Your inner dialogue: “If I don’t juggle 15 balls in the air, I’m failing everyone.”
Burnout Link: This type often experiences chronic stress from taking on too much and rarely asking for help. You measure your worth by how much you accomplish, leading to chronic overextension

Therapeutic Exercise:

Delegate and celebrate

List three tasks you’re currently doing that could be handed off (e.g., hiring a cleaning service or asking your partner to take over bedtime).
Set a mantra: “Letting go is an act of strength, not weakness.”
Write down 3 positive things that you have been able to do as a result of offloading these tasks.

Evidence basis: Studies on stress management by Dr. Brené Brown show that embracing vulnerability—including asking for help—leads to greater emotional well-being.

3. The Natural Genius

Characteristics: Believes success should come easily; struggles when things require hard work or persistence.
Your inner dialogue: “If I need to work hard or ask for help, I must not be smart enough.”
Burnout Link: Unrealistic expectations of instant success create frustration and self-doubt.

Therapeutic Exercise:

Embrace the Learning Curve

Pick one new skill (yoga, knitting, coding—whatever interests you) and commit to 10 minutes a day of messy, imperfect practice.
Keep a journal of small wins, no matter how minor.

Evidence Basis: Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset shows that reframing challenges as opportunities for learning reduces feelings of inadequacy.

4. The Soloist

Characteristics: Believes asking for help is a sign of weakness. Prefers to go it alone to prove their worth.
Your inner dialogue: “If I can’t do it alone, I’m not competent.”
Burnout Link: IYou reject support, leaving you isolated and overwhelmed.

Therapeutic Exercise:

The Connection Challenge

Reach out to a friend, colleague, or family member once a week for advice or assistance, no matter how small the ask.
Journal how it felt to rely on others—and notice if they were happy to help.

Evidence Basis: Social connection is a key buffer against burnout, according to research from the American Psychological Association.

5. The Expert

Characteristics: Feels they must know everything before taking action. Avoids new roles or achievement-related tasks for fear of not being qualified.
Your inner dialogue: “I need to know everything before I can even try.”
Burnout Link: Constantly chasing “just one more qualification” leads to persistent self-doubt and anxiety disorders.

Therapeutic Exercise:

Action Before Expertise

Identify one goal you’ve been procrastinating on due to “not knowing enough.”
Take the smallest actionable step today (e.g., send an email).

Evidence Basis: Behavioral activation therapy, widely studied in cognitive-behavioral research, shows that small actions reduce paralysis and increase confidence.

Taking proactive steps

The best way to tackle impostor syndrome and burnout is by taking proactive steps to address the negative self-talk fueling both. A systematic review of workplace culture and high-achieving women suggests that building social support, addressing workplace environments, and prioritizing emotional health are key.

At work: Seek feedback from team members and mentors, and embrace positive feedback without deflecting it.
At home: Create boundaries to protect your work-life balance and carve out time for self-care.
For yourself: Focus on small wins daily, and remember—success doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your emotional health.

Final Thoughts

To every working mom who feels like they’re drowning in self-doubt and to-do lists, here’s the truth: You’re already enough. Imposter Syndrome might be loud, but it doesn’t have to run the show. By recognizing the patterns, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion, you can reclaim your energy—and your joy.

And when in doubt, remember: Even Beyoncé probably has days when she doubts herself. (Okay, maybe not, but you get the idea.)

As always, if you have any questions please feel free to leave a question in the comments. There is a section on imposter syndrome in my book, The Burnout Doctor, due to be published in January 2025! Pre order from all good book retailers now.

Sources:

Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice.
Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself. Self and Identity.
Young, V. (2011). The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women.
Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an “Occupational Phenomenon.”

November 11, 2024

Notion pricing plans 2024: your guide to free vs plus

You might think of Notion as a work tool, but think again! For many working professionals juggling family, career, and personal commitments, keeping everything organized is a constant challenge. Traditional planners and scattered notes only add to the chaos. The right digital tool can make a world of difference.

In this guide, we dive into why Notion’s free plan is a game-changer for personal and family management, offering features that reduce stress and promote a balanced, organized lifestyle—all without any subscription costs. You’ll learn the key differences in the 2 lowest tier priced products for Notion by directly comparing what their Free Plan and the Plus plan offers. You’ll discover that Notion’s free plan provides ample space for tracking tasks, planning meals, managing family schedules, and setting goals. And, with customizable templates and robust database capabilities, Notion adapts to your needs rather than the other way around. If you’re looking for a straightforward solution to streamline your home life, Notion’s free version is an ideal choice. It helps you to feel in control, more organized, and ready to tackle each day.

About the author:

I’m Dr Claire Ashley, a doctor with a specialist interest in workplace mental health and wellbeing. My 22 years of clinical training and experience, coupled with my background in neuroscience and lived experience of burnout, uniquely places me to help stressed and burnt-out professionals regain balance in their lives using the very best scientific advice. I am also an avid user of Notion! I use it as an individual to help organize my personal, family life and work life so that I feel more in control and less stressed.

First, let’s discuss why you need a good online planner. Discover how it can be a game-changer in keeping life balanced (and a bit less stressful).

Why busy working professionals need an online planner for home life

Between work obligations, social plans, family time, and the daily logistics of running a household, it’s no wonder burnout risk is high. For busy professionals, an online planner isn’t just a convenience—it’s a necessity. A tool like Notion offers that next level of organization. It helps by creating a space to manage everything in one place without scattering notes across apps, spreadsheets, or paper planners. It’s your command center to help you navigate work, home life, and a few precious minutes of personal time! It’s a great way to feel more in control and less stressed.

Why Notion the perfect home organization tool for individuals

So, why Notion? Unlike traditional planners that are mostly calendar-focused, Notion allows you to design a system that suits your life. With its flexible pages, templates, and databases, you can create lists, manage projects, set reminders, and keep records all in one place. And the best part? You’re in control of how simple or complex it is. Notion adapts to you, rather than you adapting to it. Thus, making it ideal for individuals who need both flexibility and functionality.

5 ways working professionals can use Notion to save time and reduce stress at home

Here are five specific ways you can use Notion to streamline your day-to-day life, free up time, and minimize stress:

Meal planning and grocery lists
Create a weekly meal planner where you can quickly drop in recipe links, list ingredients, and categorize groceries. Add a checkbox feature to mark off items as you shop or order online. Planning meals for the week saves you from the daily scramble and makes shopping more efficient.
Task management and daily to-dos
Use Notion’s task board feature to set up a “home” and “work” to-do list, broken down by day or week. You can drag tasks between columns labeled “To Do,” “In Progress,” and “Done” to visualize your progress. This is a real mental boost! Plus, it’s satisfying to see everything in one place rather than scattered across sticky notes.
Family schedules and calendars
Create a master calendar for family activities, work meetings, school events, and appointments. Use reminders for upcoming deadlines, and color-code events to easily spot what’s happening. No more last-minute “Mom, it’s show-and-tell today!” stress.
Goal setting and habit tracking
Ever feel like you don’t get time to work on personal goals? Set up a simple database for tracking goals and habits. You can add motivational notes or checkboxes to track things like “exercise,” “read a chapter,” or even “drink enough water”.
Project management for work and home
Do you have a work project with tight deadlines? Or maybe you’re planning a family vacation? Use Notion’s Kanban boards or timelines to break down larger tasks into manageable steps. Seeing a visual plan for big projects helps you manage stress, stay on track, and feel accomplished as you tick items off.

Notion competitors: why they don’t stack up

While Notion is versatile, it’s not the only app out there. Here are three other popular apps that working professionals sometimes use, and why Notion still comes out on top.

Trello
Trello is great for task management with its boards and cards. But Trello lacks the depth and customization that Notion offers. It’s still a good choice for managing projects. However, it doesn’t handle diverse needs (like meal planning or note-taking) as seamlessly as Notion.
Evernote
Evernote is excellent for note-taking and storing information. However, its structure is limiting if you want to integrate more complex tasks like databases or project management. While it’s great for collecting notes, it’s not as strong for tracking tasks or schedules.
Google Keep
Google Keep is simple and intuitive, which is useful for quick notes and lists. However, it lacks the robust features of Notion for more extensive planning and organization. It’s a good supplemental tool but isn’t sufficient as an all-in-one planner.

If you’re guilty of downloading a note-taking app in the past, but not using it, then read on! You’ll learn the key differences between the free and paid versions of Notion. You’ll realize why the free version is a great choice for working professionals, and how it meets your specific needs.

Notion pricing plans: Free vs. Plus in 2024

Below is a quick breakdown of the main differences between Notion plans. You’ll find that the free version has plenty of tools to help working professionals organize and simplify their lives.

Notion offers a range of pricing plans ranging from individuals right through to large teams and large enterprises. There are 2 further pricing plans to choose from in addition to the Free Plan and the Plus Plan- the Business Plan, and the Enterprise Plan. You also have the option of choosing to have the Notion AI add-on. These plans aren’t outlined in this article, but you can read more about them here.

Feature	Free Plan- for individuals	Plus Plan- for small teams and professionals $8.50 /month
Storage	Unlimited for individuals, limited block trial for 2+ members	Unlimited
File Upload Limit	5 MB per file	Unlimited
Collaborative Workspace	Yes	Yes
Database Capabilities	Full access	Full access
Version History	Limited (7 days)	Extended (30 days)
Integrations	Basic integrations available	Advanced API integrations
Guest Limit	Up to 10 guests	Up to 100 guests
Price	Free	£8.50/$10 a month per seat

Additional information comparing Notion free and plus plans:

In addition to the above, Plus members get custom websites, custom automations and synced databases with 3rd party apps. You are entitled to 1 custom domain on the free plan, and up to 5 on the plus plan. The Plus plan has monthly billing, and there is no option for annual billing. There is also no free trial option. If you choose to have the Notion AI add on then you can try it for free beforehand as part of your Free or Plus plan. This is so you can test most of its capabilities before purchasing the add-on subscription. On both the Free and the Plus plans, you can integrate multiple Google calendars at once (a lifesaver if you want to integrate your Google workspace calendar with your home one!).

Let’s go through each feature from Notion’s free vs. paid plan and look at which option best suits the needs of busy working professionals. Here’s a breakdown to help you decide if the free version will cover your needs or if upgrading is worth it.

Feature	Free Plan	Plus Plan	Best for home life use	Recommendation for home life use
Storage	Unlimited for individuals, limited block trial for 2+ members	Unlimited	Both plans offer unlimited storage for individuals, which is perfect for managing everything from tasks to meal plans.	Free Plan: More than enough for most working professionals, especially if you are using it as an individual
File Upload Limit	5 MB per file	Unlimited	If you mostly upload small files or images (like grocery lists or receipts), the 5 MB limit is sufficient. However, larger files like videos or high-res images will require an upgrade.	Free Plan: Ideal unless you work with large files regularly.
Collaborative Sharing	Yes	Yes	Sharing is useful if you want to involve family members in grocery lists, to-dos, or schedules. The free plan’s 10-guest limit is usually enough.	Free Plan: Perfect for coordinating with family or close collaborators.
Database Capabilities	Full access	Full access	Both plans offer full database features, ideal for tracking family routines, goals, and work projects. No need to upgrade here.	Free Plan: Fully equipped for managing work and home databases.
Version History	Limited (7 days)	Extended (30 days)	If you work on complex projects or need to frequently review and roll back changes, the extended version history can be helpful. For basic home and work tasks, the 7-day history suffices.	Free Plan: Suitable for tracking regular edits without requiring extensive history.
Integrations	Basic integrations	Advanced API integrations	For most families, the basic integrations (like Google Calendar) are sufficient. Advanced integrations are more for technical or business-heavy tasks.	Free Plan: Basic integrations cover family and work needs well.
Guest Limit	Up to 10 guests	Up to 100 guests	10 guests are more than enough for coordinating with a partner or family. If you’re not sharing with a larger team, you’ll rarely need more.	Free Plan: Plenty of guest capacity for family and personal use.
Price	Free	£8.50/$10 a month per seat	The free plan has robust functionality without extra costs. The paid plan is reasonable but only necessary for more advanced needs.	Free Plan: Perfect for working professionals’ everyday needs.

Here’s a more detailed breakdown of each Notion feature in the free and plus plans, and recommendations for individual use:

1. Storage

– Both Free and Plus: Both plans offer unlimited storage, which is incredibly useful for storing endless to-do lists, meal plans, and even years’ worth of family schedules. You won’t have to worry about running out of space.

– Recommendation for home use: Free Plan– with unlimited storage in both, the free version covers the needs of most working professionals at home.

2. File Upload Limit

– Free: Limited to 5 MB per file. Great for smaller files, photos, documents, and PDFs.

– Plus: Unlimited file uploads, with no size limit, useful for larger files (e.g., presentations or videos).

– Recommendation for home use: Free plan– Unless your job requires uploading big files, 5 MB should be plenty for typical family and work documents.

3. Collaborative Sharing and Guest Limit

– Free: Share with up to 10 guests, enough to collaborate with family members or a small work team.

– Plus: Allows for 100 guests, useful for larger teams.

– Recommendation for home use: Free plan – The 10-guest limit is ideal for most working professionals who only need to share lists or schedules with family members.

4. Database Capabilities

– Both Free and Plus: Full access to Notion’s database features, enabling you to set up lists, habit trackers, project boards, and more.

– Recommendation for home use: Free plan – The database functionality is identical, so the free version is more than enough for personal and professional organizing.

5. Version History

– Free: Offers 7 days of version history. If you make a mistake, you have a week to restore an earlier version, which is generally adequate for everyday needs.

– Plus: Extends version history to 30 days, ideal if you’re working on long-term, complex projects that require more frequent rollbacks.

– Recommendation for home use: Free plan – For most professionals using Notion for home use, a 7-day rollback is enough; 30 days is more for business or project-heavy users.

6. Integrations

– Free: Basic integrations are available, covering popular tools like Google Calendar, which is ideal for syncing family and work events.

– Plus: Advanced API integrations open up broader connectivity, ideal for business or technical use.

– Recommendation for home use: Free Plan – The basic integrations available on the free plan should cover family and basic work coordination without the need for advanced options.

7. Cost

– Free: no cost

– Plus: £8.50/$10 a month per seat

– Recommendation for home use: Free plan- the free plan is a no-brainer for any busy professional looking to regain some order in their lives!

Final verdict and summary

There is a misconception that Notion is exclusively for small teams and small businesses and that the advanced features it offers are only designed for people who use it as a collaborative workspace. Notion workspace is fabulous for all team members, but, as you can see, the free plan is perfect for individual users. For working professionals, the free version of Notion offers everything you need to create order in both your home and work life without any added cost.

For most, the added benefits of the plus plan won’t be necessary unless you require more file storage, advanced integrations, or extended guest access. Individuals don’t need the advanced page analytics, workplace analytics, or advanced security options to get the most out of Notion. Furthermore, you’ll still get access to the basic page analytics and customer support even on the free plan- although plus users are treated to priority support. But even without priority support, you’ll get a pretty swift response to any issues that arise.

With all the functionality you need for planning, tracking, and organizing, the free version offers more than enough power to help you create a better work-life balance without the extra expense. So go ahead, give it a try, and watch as your daily life begins to feel just a little bit more manageable. Plus, once you start using it, I promise you’ll never look at another online planner the same way again!

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask in the comments as I’d be happy to help as an avid user of Notion. I use the free plan and I have no commercial links to Notion.

November 7, 2024

Understanding ADHD burnout symptoms and recovery in women

Here’s why you need to be aware of the ADHD burnout cycle. There is a new generation – particularly of adult women – being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). These women typically have not been diagnosed in early life because they have been able to mask their symptoms sufficiently. Or, perhaps because they presented in a different way than expected.

Many adult women, especially working moms, are receiving ADHD diagnoses later in life. This is a reality that comes as both a revelation and a relief. For years, these women may have struggled through daily life. Meeting work demands, managing family responsibilities, and navigating social interactions, all the while feeling like they’re falling short. Understanding why so many women with ADHD are diagnosed later in life is key. It requires looking at how symptoms manifest differently in females, the societal expectations placed on women, and the challenges associated with “masking” ADHD traits. The result, for many, is burnout, and in particular, rapid ADHD burnout cycles.

Why do ADHD diagnoses come later for women?

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects executive functioning, attention, and impulsivity. ADHD has traditionally been studied in boys, and the symptoms associated with it (like hyperactivity and impulsiveness) are often more visible and disruptive. Research shows that ADHD in girls and women often presents differently.

Women are more likely to experience inattentive symptoms like forgetfulness, disorganization, and difficulty focusing on daily tasks. These symptoms can be less obvious and are often mistakenly attributed to personality quirks or stress rather than a neurodevelopmental condition. This gendered misunderstanding of ADHD symptoms is a significant reason why many women go undiagnosed until adulthood.

ADHD in adulthood might look like this:

having difficulty finishing projects once the challenging parts have been done;

having difficulty organizing tasks and getting things in order;

forgetting appointments and obligations;

avoiding or delaying tasks that require a lot of thought;

needing to fidget or do something with the hands or feet when in meetings or having to sit still for long periods;

feeling overly active and compelled to move;

making careless mistakes when working on a tedious or repetitive task or piece of work;

having difficulty concentrating on what people say;

regularly losing items such as keys, wallets or phones;

lack of motivation;

sleep problems;

being distracted by activity and noise;

having difficulty relaxing and unwinding;

sensitive dysphoria;

poor time management;

talking a lot in social situations, interrupting other people, finishing off other people’s sentences;

finding it hard to wait your turn in situations where this is expected or required.

The role of masking and burnout

As adults, many women adapt by “masking” their symptoms. Masking is consciously or unconsciously hiding behaviors and working overtime to meet societal expectations. This masking involves compensatory strategies like working extra hours, hyper-focusing on specific tasks, and maintaining an external appearance of control. While these strategies help women get through the day, they also lead to chronic stress, mental exhaustion, and a cycle of burnout symptoms. Over time, the emotional dysregulation that is often part of ADHD becomes harder to hide. This ultimately leads to emotional exhaustion, frustration, and the need for professional help.

Masking ADHD symptoms isn’t just exhausting; it creates a vicious cycle. Women with undiagnosed ADHD often feel overwhelmed by the unique challenges of daily life, experiencing ADHD burnout symptoms like fatigue, mental fog, and emotional exhaustion. Constantly “keeping it together” for others or working extra hours to stay organized drains cognitive and emotional resources. Over time, this burnout amplifies ADHD symptoms, making it even harder to manage daily tasks.

For working moms, life stressors like balancing work and family responsibilities, managing household schedules, and handling social interactions add layers of stress. Events like a career transition, the birth of a child, or relationship changes can “unmask” ADHD symptoms. These pivotal moments increase the pressure to manage everything flawlessly. It makes it impossible to keep up with the masking behaviors that were once used to cope. The chronic stress of these situations exacerbates emotional dysregulation and ADHD symptoms, pushing women toward a tipping point where they seek a diagnosis.

The link between ADHD and increased burnout risk

Living with undiagnosed ADHD often leads to a cycle of chronic stress and burnout. Women with ADHD tend to internalize their struggles, believing they should be able to manage like everyone else. This self-imposed pressure leads to guilt, emotional exhaustion, and feelings of inadequacy. This only worsens as they struggle to keep up with the demands of daily lives. There is evidence to suggest that ADHD is linked to burnout. This association may be particularly relevant for women who are diagnosed later in life.

ADHD burnout symptoms are particularly challenging for working moms who are already stretched thin. Women with undiagnosed ADHD face higher risks of emotional dysregulation, including mood swings and heightened anxiety. When ADHD is masked or ignored, these symptoms worsen, leading to burnout and impacting physical and mental health. This burnout often compounds feelings of self-blame, adding yet another layer of emotional strain to an already overwhelming experience.

You can see from the list of symptoms above that people with undiagnosed ADHD are likely to struggle with some important aspects of work. In particular, difficulties with time management, organizational skills, and stress management at work lead to a higher rate of burnout in those with ADHD.

Regardless of biological sex or gender, for people with ADHD, burnout is normally caused by unmanaged symptoms. However, workplace stressors (particularly tight deadlines and a heavy workload requiring concentration) and unhealthy coping mechanisms (like avoidance and social withdrawal) are also factors. Masking can be very stressful, too, and certainly can factor into the development of burnout.

What ADHD burnout looks like:

For people with ADHD, especially undiagnosed adults, the burnout cycle is a frequent and challenging experience. In addition, the risk of burnout is much higher in ADHD than in those who are neurotypical. ADHD burnout goes beyond the typical exhaustion. It includes both mental and physical fatigue, emotional dysregulation, and significant challenges in managing daily tasks. The cycle often begins with high levels of motivation and overcommitment, driven by a desire to “prove oneself” or compensate for perceived shortcomings. However, without adequate rest and boundaries, this can lead to periods of extreme fatigue, decreased productivity, and eventually, burnout.

ADHD symptoms make it hard to commit and follow through on work tasks. This then leads to an accumulation of stress and adoption of unhealthy coping techniques (such as avoidance, procrastination, and self-medication). This then leads to withdrawal (quitting, giving up on tasks, and withdrawing socially), before going back to feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

Workplace pressures mean that people with ADHD take significantly more stress-related days off sick than those who do not have ADHD.

Common symptoms in the ADHD burnout cycle include:

High motivation and overcommitment – This initial phase includes a high drive to take on more responsibilities and projects.
Accumulating mental and physical exhaustion – The continuous effort leads to fatigue.
Emotional dysregulation – Symptoms such as anxiety and mood swings start to surface.
Difficulty with daily tasks – Basic tasks feel overwhelming, leading to procrastination and feelings of being stuck.
Social withdrawal – Individuals may start avoiding social interactions, and feeling emotionally drained.
Burnout – Complete exhaustion, both mentally and physically, where managing any responsibility feels unmanageable.

This cycle feeds into itself. Burnout often leads back to the first stage when energy temporarily returns, restarting the process.

How to successfully manage the ADHD burnout cycle

Quite shockingly, there is very little work done on how to successfully manage burnout in ADHD (just three studies known at the time of writing!).

The difficulty with this lack of scientific work and evidence-based advice means that when there is an information vacuum, it gets filled with advice that doesn’t necessarily work or isn’t always helpful.

Work stressors are a factor in the ADHD burnout cycle, but fundamentally the cycle is driven by the ADHD itself. Therefore, concentrating on neurotypical burnout recovery measures alone will not be enough to break the ADHD burnout cycle alone. There are some extra things to be aware of that will need your attention to successfully break the cycle of ADHD burnout.

Managing ADHD symptoms will form a key part of the recovery process. Unmanaged, the symptoms of ADHD can make it very difficult to focus, sit still, and complete tasks on time. Regardless of whether you manage this with medication, therapy, or changes to your routine or work habits, it’s important to reduce the negative impact of these symptoms on your work to help manage burnout.

Procrastination and avoidance can also factor into ADHD burnout because these cause stress by creating a backlog of tasks. Impulsivity can lead to not finishing work tasks and taking on too much. Taking on too many responsibilities and tasks is a common pitfall of people with ADHD, who tend to have a lot of energy, motivation, and optimism about how much they can do. Unfortunately, they may not be realistic with themselves or others about how much they can do or how quickly they can accomplish their goals.

ADHD masking can also be exhausting. Not only does it contribute to ADHD burnout directly in itself, but it can also affect relationships and expectations from employers and co-workers.

With these difficulties in mind, let’s move on to discover 8 proven strategies to help break the recurrent and exhausting cycle of ADHD burnout.

8 powerful strategies to help break the cycle of ADHD burnout:

1. Get a ADHD diagnosis and learn to understand your neurodivergent brain! Depending on where you live, this can be tricky, as waiting lists can be long. But, if your symptoms are significant then having a diagnosis can be a real game changer.

2. Consider ADHD medication – mediation will help to control ADHD control symptoms and minimize their impact on your burnout risk. You don’t need to take medication every day if you don’t want or need to. A lot of people take medication on work, university, or school days when they need to focus or quieten down their brains. Any decision to take medication must be based on understanding the risks and benefits. Please speak to your doctor if you think this would be helpful for you.

3. Access specialist support from an ADHD-trained therapist (CBT or DBT) or ADHD coach – Having the right tools to manage ADHD symptoms outside of medication is really important. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) are both evidence based in the management of ADHD.

The skills learned with these types of therapy are pretty much everything you need to know to successfully break the ADHD burnout cycle! However, while CBT is recommended to help control ADHD symptoms, not everyone with ADHD feels it is helpful for them. If if this is you then you’re certainly not alone. DBT, or ADHD coaching might be the better approach in this instance.

In the UK, you can access funding for ADHD coaching through the Access to Work program.

4. Get help to learn self-compassion and self-acceptance skills- a very common experience with ADHD burnout is guilt and shame. Learning to treat yourself with kindness through coaching, therapy or a support group is helpful.

6. Unmask your ADHD – masking is exhausting. Let the mask drop. Be honest about your ADHD with yourself and the people around you, and let them help you! It’ll feel a much lighter burden to carry when you do this.

7. Request appropriate reasonable adjustments from your employer, to help ease the impact of your ADHD symptoms on your work life and subsequent stress levels. For instance, open-plan offices can cause sensory overwhelm in ADHD, which then leads to decreased work performance. Your employer would give you reasonable adjustments to help manage this. For instance, you could have the option of having your own office, but if that’s not possible, try noise-canceling headphones instead. Alternatively, your employer could also provide a quiet and private decompression space.

8. Practice mindfulness. Regular mindfulness exercises reduce inattentiveness, hyperactivity, and impulsivity in people with ADHD. Mindfulness also has a secondary benefit in reducing stress and preventing burnout. If meditating isn’t your thing, then doing flow/meditative activities such as yoga and Tai Chi are just as beneficial.

Final thoughts on understanding ADHD burnout: symptoms and recovery

ADHD in women, particularly working moms, comes with unique challenges and stressors that can lead to mental and emotional exhaustion. Undiagnosed ADHD often traps women in a cycle of masking and burnout, intensified by life’s ever-growing demands. But recognizing these challenges is the first step to change. With an accurate diagnosis, professional support, and self-compassion, women can find ways to manage ADHD in daily life, easing the chronic stress that once felt insurmountable. The journey isn’t easy, but with the right support and tools, it’s possible to reclaim balance, joy, and self-acceptance.

If you’re a working mom, please sign up for my email newsletter The Phoenix. The link is below.

October 31, 2024

8 powerful ways to deal with a micromanaging boss

If you’re a working mom, the last thing you need on top of juggling family and career is a micro-managing boss—especially one who’s constantly looking over your shoulder, making you feel like you need to justify every move. Learning how to survive a micro-managing boss is essential, not just for your stress levels, but for your burnout risk too.

A difficult work environment can cause significant stress, and -worse- a lack of control/autonomy over how you work is one of the work factors that causes burnout.

But fear not, you can survive a micro-managing boss while still maintaining your sanity and keeping your work-life balance intact. By using these tips you will discover the first step to dealing effectively with your boss’s management style. You’ll also be able to help your team members by showing them the best way to communicate and handle someone whose leadership style might be directly impacting everyone’s job satisfaction. You don’t necessarily need a new job even if your current boss is giving you a hard time!

With all this in mind, here’s a guide with practical strategies to help you navigate the minefield of micromanagement and come out feeling confident, respected, and in control. Let’s start with some micromanaging examples, before moving on to some best practices and specific examples of how you can handle your micromanaging boss.

Here are three common ways a micromanaging boss might overstep boundaries with a working mom, along with a bit of empathy and insight into why these behaviors can be so challenging:

1. Constant check-ins at inconvenient times

Picture this: It’s 5:30 p.m., and you’re rushing out the door to pick up the kids from daycare before the late fee kicks in. Suddenly, your boss pings you with, “Quick update?” or “Any progress on that project yet?” Micromanagers often operate on their timeline, forgetting that working moms have schedules full of non-negotiables. These check-ins at inconvenient moments not only disrupt your flow but create the guilt-ridden pressure to always be available—even when you’re clearly off the clock. This makes it incredibly hard to find any real work-life balance, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed.

2. Detailed requests for daily status updates

Another classic move: your boss insists on daily, play-by-play updates for every minor project. They want to know your progress at every stage, even when you’re managing tasks perfectly well on your own. For a working mom, this is particularly stressful—every minute spent reporting is a minute taken from productive work time. It also interrupts focus, making it harder to complete tasks and get home on time. You may feel like you’re back in school, having to prove you’re doing your “homework,” which undermines trust and adds stress to an already packed day.

3. Expecting instant responses outside work hours

Many micromanaging bosses think that every message deserves an immediate response—no matter the time or situation. You’re at your kid’s soccer game or finally sitting down for family dinner, and your boss fires off a “quick question” email. Working moms are pros at balancing work and family, but it’s hard to truly unplug when you’re always anticipating that next “urgent” message. This constant expectation to be “on” erodes the boundaries you’ve set, leading to stress, frustration, and ultimately, burnout.

You might very well look at the above list, and think that this example of an overbearing boss has more of a red flag than a relationship status change after one date. But, you have so much control over this situation, much more than you might think. Let’s think about the right strategies to help correct this imbalance now!

8 proven strategies to survive a micromanaging boss for working moms:

1. Understand their why (but don’t let it get to you)

Let’s start by addressing the elephant in the room: why does your boss micro-manage? Often, micromanagers do this out of insecurity or a need for control. Or, perhaps they’ve been placed in a very stressful role without the right support or training to be able to do it well . They might well be burnt out themselves, or struggling with a lack of confidence in their own ability. So, while micro-managing might feel personal, the lack of trust is not really about you—it’s about them. Knowing that can help you depersonalize the situation.

Actionable tips:

When your boss is hovering or nitpicking, remind yourself that their need for control is not a reflection of your competence. Take a deep breath and avoid letting it affect your confidence or your mood. You’ve got more important things to worry about (like whether your toddler will eat something other than chicken nuggets today!). If you’re worried that your boss might not be supported themselves, is there someone you can safely raise this issue with today? Your boss’s need might be more than what you can give them in terms of your work- sometimes you need to look at the bigger picture and see your boss as the whole person that they are!

2. Anticipate their needs and stay one step ahead

One way to survive a micro-managing boss is to anticipate their questions before they ask. By proactively providing updates and progress reports, you can reduce the need for them to constantly check-in. It’s one of the most effective ways to help them to help you. Think of it as pre-emptive communication—give them what they want before they have the chance to ask. This will avoid the need for constant check-ins and constant updates, and hopefully reduce the need for excessive supervision.

Actionable tips:

At the start of each week, send a brief, bullet-pointed email outlining the status of your projects, the next steps, and any potential roadblocks. It’ll make them feel reassured, and you’ll get them out of your hair (hopefully).
Keep a “FAQ” document for your projects that answers common questions or addresses potential concerns. Send it whenever a new task kicks off so they’re equipped with all the info they need without bothering you every five minutes.

3. Set clear boundaries around your time

Micro-managers tend to want things now. But, as a working mom, you can’t drop everything at the snap of your boss’s fingers—you’ve got pickup times, chores, and that elusive self-care to think about! You have less flexibility and less time than others. Therefore, setting firm boundaries around your time is essential, so that you can reduce your stress and produce the very best high-quality work.

Actionable tips:

Communicate your working hours. Let them know when you’re available for meetings, calls, or last-minute requests, and, more importantly, when you’re not available. Use phrases like “I’ll be offline from 5 PM to 7 PM for family commitments but can pick this up first thing tomorrow.”
If your boss sends tasks after hours, avoid responding immediately (unless it’s urgent). Setting the precedent that you’re always available is a slippery slope. Instead, respond during your next work block to maintain your boundaries.

4. Politely push back on overload

Sometimes micromanagers pile on the work, thinking it’ll get done faster with constant supervision. But when your plate is already full, especially with family responsibilities, it’s okay to push back—diplomatically, of course. Setting clear expectations about what you can take on will go a long way to helping your boss to understand exactly what you are available for- and what you are not.

Actionable tip:

Use the “priority clarification” technique. When your boss hands you yet another task, respond with, “I’m currently working on X, Y, and Z. Could you let me know which one you’d like me to prioritize?” This subtly shifts the burden of decision-making back onto them and signals that you can’t do everything at once.
If they insist on micromanaging every detail of your tasks, offer them choices: “Would you like me to do this your way, or do you trust me to handle it based on my experience?” This tactic puts the control back in your hands while allowing them to feel involved.

5. Leverage data and results to help with building trust

One way to survive a micro-managing boss is to show them hard evidence of your competence. When they see that you deliver results consistently, they’re more likely to back off. It’s all about making them feel like they don’t need to micromanage you because you’ve got things under control. In doing this, you will reduce their constant need for updates.

Actionable tips:

At the end of a project or major task, provide a results-focused update. Emphasize how your work contributed to meeting goals, hitting deadlines, or improving processes. Use numbers if possible—it’s hard to argue with data.
When you’ve finished something, send a friendly follow-up email outlining the successful outcome. This not only reinforces your capabilities but gives your boss a paper trail of your achievements.

6. Be direct, but choose your battles

Sometimes, the only way to deal with a micromanager is to have a candid conversation. If your boss’s behavior is truly interfering with your ability to do your job (and your sanity), it’s worth addressing it directly. However, as a working mum, you’re also dealing with enough stress, so be strategic about when and how you do this. It’s just like picking your battles with your kids- you might let small things slide, but running out into the road without looking requires a swift and robust response!

Actionable tips:

Pick the right moment. If you’re going to have a chat, wait until things are calm—maybe after a successful project or a particularly smooth week. Use “I” statements: “I feel like I can do my best work when I have a bit more autonomy on X project. Is there a way we can balance check-ins with independent work?”
If they don’t change, don’t fight every battle. Choose the tasks where micromanagement really hinders your performance and gently push back on those. For the rest, consider letting it slide to preserve your own mental peace. Sometimes there’s no point sweating over the minor details.

7. Manage your stress with your own support system

Having a micromanaging boss can be stressful, but you don’t have to carry the weight of it alone. Having a support system—whether it’s other working moms, friends, or a partner—can help you vent, brainstorm solutions, and stay grounded. This is essential not just for staying on top of your work, but it’s also essential for good mental health. In fact, a supportive community is a really protective factor that helps prevent burnout! So, regular check-ins and open communication with your peers and entire team is a great thing to prioritise.

Actionable tips:

Create a group chat or regular catch-up with other working moms where you can share struggles, advice, and maybe even a few laughs (because you know there’s some humor in all this).
Talk to your partner about creating a home routine that gives you a bit more breathing room if your workday has been tough. Maybe they can take over bath time or handle dinner while you decompress with a glass of wine and Netflix.

8. Practice micro self-care (because who has time for the full thing?)

A micro-managing boss can drain your energy, but you don’t have to let it consume you. You can’t always control their actions, but you can control how you recharge.

Actionable tips:

Build micro moments of self-care into your day, like taking five minutes to step outside and breathe some fresh air between meetings, or indulging in a mid-afternoon tea or chocolate (because let’s face it, you earned it).
Practice mindfulness when dealing with your boss. Before responding to a particularly frustrating request, pause, take a breath, and approach the situation from a place of calm. The more zen you stay, the less the micromanaging will get under your skin.

You’ve now learned some great strategies to help manage your micro-managing boss! Let’s move on now to give you some specific phrases to use when your micro-managing boss hands you a new task or project:

Eight questions to ask a micro-managing boss when you’re given a new task or project

Micromanaging bosses often need reassurance that you’re on top of things, especially when it comes to new tasks and projects. The following eight questions are designed to give you the clarity you need to succeed, while subtly communicating to your boss that you’re handling things with confidence and strategy. By addressing their anxieties, you’ll help dial down the micromanaging tendencies—leaving you more room to get the job done without feeling overwhelmed (hopefully!).

Here are the eight questions to use the next time your boss hands you a new task, or project (as adapted from Mark Murphy’s article in Forbes):

“Is there anything you’d like me to know about how this will be used?”
(This question reassures your boss that you see the big picture and understand how this task supports overall goals. It also shows you’re tuned into the strategic aspect of the work, which lets them relax a bit.)

“What’s your deadline?”
(Clear deadlines are your friend! It’s always good to confirm and ensures that expectations around timing are set from the beginning.)

“What’s the best format for you?”
(This question ensures your work is delivered exactly as they need it—saving everyone from any back-and-forth or last-minute changes.)

“Who or what resources should I approach for this?”
(Shows that you’re not only thinking about the task but also about the people or resources involved.)

“Are there any previous examples or templates you’d like me to reference?”
(If they’ve done similar projects in the past, referencing these can calm their nerves instantly, knowing you’ll build on work that already meets their standards.)

“How long do you think this is going to take?”
(There’s often a hidden expectation here—sometimes they’ll say the deadline is Friday but are quietly hoping it’ll be done by Wednesday. This question helps you uncover those hidden expectations and gives you the option to impress by meeting or even exceeding them.)

“Where does this assignment fit with my other projects for you?”
(This question lets you clarify priorities, giving you insight into the relative importance of the task and signaling to your boss that you understand its place among other assignments.)

“What are the must-dos and absolute no-gos for this project?”
(This reassures your boss that you’ll avoid any critical mistakes and cover all key areas—showing that you’re aware of what matters most and willing to deliver precisely on those points.)

These questions not only give your boss peace of mind but also let you manage the situation with calm confidence. By showing that you’re on top of both the details and the broader strategy, you’re more likely to earn their trust and reduce their need to micromanage, freeing up valuable headspace for you to balance everything else. Win-win!

How to survive a micro-managing boss- final thoughts:

Being able to survive a micro-managing boss as a working mom is no easy feat, but it’s not impossible. By setting boundaries, communicating clearly, and giving yourself grace, you can create a healthier work dynamic and maintain your peace of mind. Remember, you’re not just a mom, an employee, or a manager of your household—you’re a superhero in your own right. And, with these strategies, you’ll find a way to handle your boss and your busy life like a pro.

Further reading: This article from the Harvard Business Review has some great advice!

October 21, 2024

6 powerful ways to help working moms overcome burnout

Hey there, mama! Today’s post focuses on the factors that cause burnout at work. You’ll learn exactly how and why you’re disproportionately at risk as a mom, and then you’ll learn 6 powerful ways to help working moms overcome burnout.

Burnout isn’t just about feeling tired, it’s complete physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. And let’s be honest: as a working mom, burnout hits differently.

The size and scale of the problem for working moms to overcome burnout

It’s no secret that working moms are at a higher risk of burnout, and the stats back it up. First, 86% of working moms report feeling exhausted by balancing work and family responsibilities (according to a study by Motherly in 2021). If that wasn’t enough, research from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research found that working mothers are 28% more likely to experience burnout compared to fathers. And get this—according to a report by McKinsey & LeanIn.org, one in three working moms is considering downshifting her career or leaving the workforce altogether due to burnout (click here to read more). When you’re carrying the mental load of both work and home, it’s no wonder the burnout rate is through the roof!

In two previous posts, you learned about the six work factors that can cause burnout. If you haven’t already familiarised yourself with these six work factors, please click here to read part one, and here to read part two. Now, for those of you balancing work and family life, these factors often go into overdrive. Working moms are more at risk of burnout than working dads and women without children. So, let’s start by understanding how these six factors hit working moms harder than most. Then you’ll get some practical, mom-tested advice on how to tackle each one head-on! Read on to find out how working moms can overcome burnout!

The Six Work Factors That Cause stress at work (And Why They’re Harder for Working moms)

the 6 factors that cause burnout in working moms: lack of control at home and work, lack of reward, values mismatch, lack of community, not being treated fairly, heavy workload — The 6 factors that cause burnout in working moms

Control
Ah, control—remember that?! When was the last time you felt in control of anything? For working mums, control over your workday is often laughable. Between a 9 a.m. meeting, a sick kid at home, and the last-minute school project, “control” becomes a myth. In burnout, lack of control at work is a risk factor for burnout. But, for moms you’re much more likely to find it hard to find control at work- and at home.
Reward
Being adequately rewarded for the work you do is protective against burnout. It doesn’t necessarily have to be financial reward here- opportunities for positive feedback, professional development, and doing rewarding work also help protect against burnout. The trouble is that moms work hard both at home and at the office. Whilst the labour at home is rewarding, it’s also unpaid. Your hard work is often unappreciated by your loved ones (or at least, they might not vocalise their gratitude!). When’s the last time someone handed you a trophy for surviving the day? Or a pay raise for juggling ten things at once? For working moms, the feeling of being under-rewarded is magnified because you’re constantly giving without much in return.
Values mismatch
Having a kid, like any major life event, changes what’s important to you. You want to be a present parent, but your boss wants you to be available 24/7. That clash in values—between being a good parent and a good employee—leaves working moms feeling like they’re always failing somewhere. This values mismatch puts working moms at disproportionate burnout risk.
Community
A supportive community means everything when it comes to effective burnout prevention. But- whether it’s your workplace community or your ‘village’ at home, feeling isolated is really common among working moms. You might be surrounded by people, but who really understands your daily challenges? If you don’t have a village, then you’ll be at risk of burnout.
Fairness
If you’re not treated fairly at work by your employer, then the stress it causes can factor into the development of burnout. But the workplace isn’t just the only place where moms feel unfairly treated. Ever notice how you’re doing the same work as everyone else but with added mental load? “Fair” can feel like a foreign concept when you’re balancing unpaid household labor on top of your job. (click here to read more about how women take on more of the domestic load, and how it can cause burnout).
Workload
Oh boy, where do we even start? Your workload is like an all-you-can-eat buffet that just never ends, with side orders of school pick-ups, laundry, and dinner-making. Not only does a heavy workload in your job risk burnout, for working moms, the workload both at home and at work can feel an impossible juggle.

Tackling These Factors: Practical, Real-World Solutions for Working moms to overcome burnout

1. Control: how to regain it (yes, really!)

As a working mom, you can’t control everything, but you can focus on the little things. Control doesn’t have to mean re-organizing your entire life—it can be as simple as setting small boundaries. Here’s the cool thing about control in burnout prevention: simply believing you have control over your work and life is enough to prevent burnout (this is because those that believe this then go on to make changes that reduce burnout!).

Three things you can do:

Time blocking: Allocate specific time slots for work, family, and you. And yes, that you time is mandatory.
Delegate at work and home: Get comfortable with asking for help, whether it’s a team member at work or your partner at home. This is tough but essential to get a handle on your stress levels.
Say no more often: Boundaries are your best friend. Practice saying no to those extra requests that push you to the limit. It’s a form of self-care!

2. Reward: finding it where you can

If you’re not getting rewards from your boss (hello, pay gap), it’s time to create your own sense of accomplishment.

Three things you can do:

Celebrate your wins: Small victories deserve recognition. Did you manage to cook dinner AND make that deadline? Treat yourself to your favorite snack or a 30-minute Netflix binge.
Find meaning in your work: If possible, focus on the tasks that make you feel good. Even if it’s just 20% of your day, doing something that energizes you makes a big difference.
Create mini-rewards: Set small goals and reward yourself. Finished the laundry pile? Take a bubble bath. Got through your inbox? Have a dance party with your kids.

3. Values mismatch: making it work

When your personal values don’t align with your workplace, it can feel like an uphill battle. But instead of switching jobs, try creating alignment where you can. If you’re not sure what your values are, start with this list here.

Three things you can do:

Find overlap: Identify the common ground between your values and your job. If you value flexibility, negotiate for it—maybe not today, but it’s worth a try!
Be vocal: Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs and values to your employer. Sometimes, it takes a conversation to shift expectations.
Own your personal mission: Whether at work or home, make your values clear to yourself and others. Even if it’s just saying, “I prioritize family dinners,” own it unapologetically. Remember, you don’t need to explain your priorities to anyone else.

4. Community: building your village

You need your people—both at work and at home. Building a community that understands the struggle can take some work, but please do prioritise this. It will make such a difference to how you feel about your work and life.

Three things you can do:

Join a values- aligned mom group: Whether online or in-person, find a group of moms who get it. Sharing struggles and wins can make a world of difference. Just make sure that the group you’re going to join shares your values. If you’re ruthlessly practical then you won’t find the support you need in a crunchy mama group!
Leverage work relationships: If possible, form a support system at work with colleagues who also juggle similar responsibilities.
Outsource help: It’s okay to get help where you can, whether it’s a cleaner, babysitter, or meal delivery service. You can’t do it all, and that’s okay.

5. Fairness: level the playing field

Let’s face it, working moms often take on more than their fair share. Tackling fairness starts with acknowledging the imbalance and taking steps to fix it. Just FYI, the advice below is optional. Tackling an unfair work culture is tough when you’re already stressed and feeling vulnerable. You don’t have to take on more if you don’t want to.

Three things you can do:

Speak up: Advocate for fairness at work and at home. If you’re doing more than your share, it’s time to have that tough conversation—whether with your boss or your family.
Track your time: Keep a log of how much time you spend on work vs. household tasks. This can help you (and others) see where the imbalance lies.
Outsource when possible: Yes, we’re back to outsourcing. Whether it’s hiring someone to help with household chores or delegating more at work, reducing your load can help create fairness.

6. Workload: simplifying the chaos

When you’re juggling ten balls at once, it’s no wonder burnout hits hard. Reducing your workload might sound impossible, but there are ways to make it more manageable.

Three things you can do:

Prioritize ruthlessly: What’s urgent, and what can wait? Learn to be okay with letting the non-essential tasks slide. Read this post on how you can use my reworked Mom version of the Eisenhower Matrix!
Batch tasks: Group similar tasks together to make them more efficient. This works for both work and home—think meal prepping or knocking out emails in one go.
Take breaks: I know, breaks feel like a luxury, but they’re crucial. Set a timer for 5-minute breathers during your workday and resist the urge to fill that time with something “productive.” Make a lovely coffee and savor it. Or, perhaps you could take a moment to get some fresh air? It all adds up.

Final Thoughts for working moms to overcome burnout

Working moms face burnout on a whole different level! But, with some self-awareness and practical steps, you can start taking control (yes, even if it’s just a little) and feel more in charge of your life again. Remember, you’re already doing an amazing job. So here’s to keeping it real, staying strong, and giving yourself a little more grace every day! You’ve absolutely got this.

If you liked this, you’ll love my email newsletter, The Phoenix. Sign up now!

October 4, 2024

Who burns out? Find out the 9 things that are putting you at risk NOW

Who burns out? This is a great question to ask. You can take a group of people, put them all under the same stress at work, and some will burn out and some won’t.

Now, burnout occurs because of prolonged and unsuccessfully managed stress at work. It is, by definition, a workplace problem. Both the cause and the solution to burnout are making changes at work. If you aren’t already familiar with the 6 workplace factors that directly cause burnout, then you can read more about them here.

But, similar to other health problems, there will be some people that are more at risk of developing burnout compared to others. Knowing if you are at increased risk is powerful, because it means you can be proactive about protecting yourself. What it doesn’t mean, however, is that you are to blame if you do end up burning out, because burnout occurs because of unmanageable stress. Even the most resilient people have breaking points.

Who burns out? Why burnout is like a physical health problem

To help you to understand how you might be at an increased chance of burning out, let’s compare burnout to a physical health problem. For this example, lung cancer is a useful problem to compare to. You will already be familiar with the disease, and how it is caused. As most people already know, the cause of lung cancer in the overwhelming majority of cases is smoking.

However, not everyone that smokes will develop lung cancer. Some people will be protected from it due to other factors, such as their genetics, or their environment.

The same is true in burnout. Work factors leading to burnout is similar to how smoking leads to lung cancer. Not everyone that experiences stress at work will burn out, because some people are more protected from it than others.

Let’s go on to talk now about the 9 things that mean you are more likely to burn out when you are stressed at work.

Remember that these are risk factors and not direct causes of burnout! The direct cause is work stress, and so working on your risk factors alone in the context of huge stress at work will not be sufficient to protect you. True burnout prevention requires a multi-factorial approach that tackles the root cause and does not blame the individual that then ends up burning out.

Who burns out? The 9 things that put you at risk outside of work stress- and why

There are 9 things that mean you are more likely to burn out. It’s important to know what they are, so that you can be empowered to manage your work stress better!

The 9 things that are putting you at risk of burnout (that aren't work stress): Imposter Syndrome, perfectionism, people pleasing, your childhood, trauma, other mental health problems, coping skills and neurodiversity — The 9 things that put you at risk of burnout

1. Imposter syndrome

Imposter Syndrome is the feeling of being a fraud, and that you don’t deserve your achievements despite being a very high achiever. It increases the risk of burnout by causing the following: overwork, procrastination, avoidance of work, perfectionism and comparison.

2. Perfectionism

Perfectionism fuels burnout by making you take on too much work, and by worsening emotional exhaustion.

3. People pleasing

People pleasing puts you at risk from burnout by causing low self esteem and self worth, which then leads to poor professional boundaries. Ultimately, the people pleaser inadvertently takes on too much at work in an attempt to help everyone around them.

4. Personality type

Being an introvert in an extroverted role without enough time to recharge your social batteries causes burnout by causing emotional exhaustion. Type A personalities are also at risk, as they tend to manage stress by avoiding it (see below on coping skills!).

5. Your childhood

Mixed messages about achievement in childhood means you are more likely to burn out as an adult. Any trauma experienced in childhood also increases burnout risk. This is because brain changes in burnout are very similar to the changes after trauma.

6. Trauma in adulthood

Traumatic events as an adult cause changes to the brain that are very similar to the burnt out brain.

7. Pre-existing mental health problems

Burnout isn’t always linked with mental health problems, However, if you already have a mental health problem such as depression or anxiety, then you will be at increased risk of burnout. The reasons for this are multiple.

8. Coping skills

Most people that end up in full-blown burnout will have used coping strategies to soothe how they feel about the stress, and to manage their own emotions. People that are protected against burnout tend to cope with stress by tackling the root cause (i.e. the stressor itself). This is important, because tackling the root cause means you are making changes to the stressor itself, and therefore reducing its impact.

9. Neurodiversity

Those with ADHD and ASD in particular experience rapid burnout cycles. These cycles are driven by the effects, and the stress of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world.

So, now you know who burns out when things get stressful at work.

Who burns out? Now you’ve identified the things that might predispose you to burnout, what can you do about it?

If you have realised that you have one of more of the things that put you into an at-risk group for burnout, then happily there are things that you can to protect yourself.

The first is to tackle your work stress.

The second is to put things in place to help reduce the effects of the risk factors on your ability to cope with stress. This might look like having coaching or therapy to reduce the impact of imposter syndrome on how you cope with work stress. It could mean having support measures put in place to help you if you have ADHD- things like being able to wear noise cancelling ear phones in noisy office environments. Or, it might mean seeing your doctor for help with depression, anxiety or PTSD.

I go into these risk factors in much more detail in my upcoming book The Burnout Doctor! Released on Jan 30th 2025, it is available to pre-order from Amazon UK here.

September 29, 2024

21 powerful journaling prompts to overcome stress and reclaim control for working moms

Read on to find 21 journaling prompts for working moms to overcome stress and reclaim control.

How to use the journaling prompts:

The first 7 prompts are for busy moms that are new to journaling. If this is you, then these prompts have been specifically designed to be simple and accessible. The idea is that you can be gently introduced to the practice. Or, perhaps you simply just don’t have the bandwidth to process a more complex journal prompt today. On the days when you have limited capacity, but you still want to benefit from the calming effects of journaling, the beginner prompts are perfect.

The next 7 prompts are for moms that have already done a bit of journaling or creative writing. They are slightly more challenging prompts. These prompts encourage more self-reflection, thereby offering deeper insights into your wellbeing.

The final 7 prompts are for those moms that already have an established journaling practice, and are ready to take things to the next level! These prompts invite moms to engage in profound self-reflection and critical thinking, pushing you to explore deeper layers of your stress and wellbeing.

Feel free to pick whichever prompts appeal the most to you. Alternatively, regardless of your confidence or experience with journaling, you could start with the beginner prompts and work your way through!

First, here’s some advice about how you can build a journaling practice into your busy schedule. The frequency of journaling really does depend on individual preferences and what you hope to achieve. There is no amount or duration of journaling that matters- every little helps! However, for busy working moms, here are some recommendations:

How to get started with a regular journaling practice if you are a working mom

How to get started with journaling if you are a working mom, read on...

1. Start Small: 2-3 Times a Week

If you’re new to journaling or have a packed schedule, start by doing it between 2-3 times per week. This approach keeps the practice manageable while still allowing you to experience the benefits of reflection and stress relief. Schedule your journaling at a time when it fits best with your lifestyle. If you’re not sure when you have the time, just take a look at your screen time report! Trust me, you do have the time.

"I don't have time to journal" Schedule your journaling at a time when it fits best with your lifestyle.

If you're not sure when you have the time, just take a look at your screen time report!

Trust me, you do have the time. You simply need to prioritse it. — Check your screen time report if you think you don’t have 5 minutes a day to journal!

This strategy will help stop journaling from becoming overwhelming, and allows for consistency without feeling like an additional chore.

2. Daily Journaling (5-10 Minutes a Day)

For those looking to build a routine, a few minutes of journaling each day can become a mindful practice. This doesn’t have to be long or hard work. Everyone can take 5-10 minutes each evening or morning to journal.
Daily journaling can help you stay more connected to your emotions, track progress, and manage stress more effectively on an ongoing basis. Doing this regularly at the same time each day will help to establish a journaling habit. Habit building is a far more effective method of getting into a regular journaling practice than relying on motivation alone.

3. As Needed

Some moms may find it helpful to journal in response to specific stressors or emotions. Journaling in this way gives you a flexible, stress-relief outlet without feeling the pressure to write on a set schedule. When I was going through burnout recovery, I journaled regularly on the advice of my therapist. Now that I am recovered, I journal as and when I feel I need to!
This method allows you to use journaling as a tool for emotional release and clarity whenever you feel overwhelmed, or need space to process a challenge.

How to get started with journaling as a working mom: start small, 5-10 minutes a day, as needed. — How to get started with journaling as a working mom

Ultimately, the key is consistency rather than frequency. Whether you journal daily or a few times a week, the most important thing is to make the habit work for you and your schedule.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, has some brilliant advice about how to make journaling a regular habit in this article. He suggests starting to journal by writing a prompt at the top of a page with 31 lines below it. You then write a single sentence for the next 31 days (ie. for a full month). As he says, “once the month is complete, you can look back on 31 beautiful journal entries. The entire experience is designed to make journaling so easy that you can’t help but do it each day”.

Let’s get to the good stuff then! Below are 21 powerful journaling prompts to help working moms to overcome stress, and regain control.

Beginner journaling prompts for working moms to overcome stress and reclaim control.

What made you smile today?

Reflect on a small moment of joy or something positive from your day.

Write one thing you’re proud of this week

Acknowledge a small win, no matter how small it might seem.

Identify three things you are grateful for today?

Gratitude helps refocus on positive aspects of life. The biggest benefits of gratitude come from narrative writing (that’s writing stories), but lists are a simple and accessible way to get started!

What is one small act of self-care you can do for yourself this week?

Think of an achievable, simple way to care for yourself. Here are some ideas in case you are struggling for inspiration: go for a walk, arrange to meet a friend, do a YouTube yoga class, read the book you’ve been putting off starting, listen to your favourite music on loud, watch an old feel-good favourite TV show on repeat

What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

Focus on something positive in the very near future.

Who was kind to you today?

Reflect on a gesture of kindness and how it made you feel.

What is one thing you can let go of today?

Consider something small you’re holding onto that you can release to reduce stress.

Intermediate journaling prompts for working moms to overcome stress and reclaim control.

What are the top three sources of stress in your life right now, and how do you usually respond to them?

First, Identify stressors. Next, document your reactions. Go one step deeper (if you like!) and write down an alternative way that you can respond to these stressors the next time they occur.

How can you make time for self-care in a busy schedule? What does self-care look like for you?

Think critically about your routine and how to integrate more care for yourself. Challenge your ideas about what self care really is.

What would a ‘perfect’ day look like for you? How can you incorporate small elements of that ideal day into your daily life?

This prompt is about how to bring more joy into your routine. How can you enhance your day with small changes – and really savour it these changes mindfully?

What does feeling ‘in control’ of your life mean to you? When was the last time you felt that way?

Reflect on the concept of control and when you last experienced it. What did it feel like to experience?

How do you react when things don’t go as planned? What helps you stay grounded during these times?

Write down your usual response to the unexpected.

Who in your life supports you the most, and how can you lean on them when you need help?

Identify your support network and how to use it effectively. This is a very useful prompt for those of you that find it hard to ask for help.

How can you set better boundaries in your personal or professional life to protect your time and energy?

Explore boundary-setting and its impact on wellbeing. If you’re not sure where your boundaries lie, follow the resentment!

Advanced journaling prompts for working moms to overcome stress and reclaim control.

What underlying beliefs or values may be contributing to your current stress levels?

Dive deep into the root causes of stress and how your mindset might contribute to it. If you’re finding it hard, think about your upbringing and what was important to your parents. Alternatively, identify your values using this list.

Reflect on a time when you felt completely overwhelmed. What did you learn from that experience, and how could you handle a similar situation differently now?

Look at a past challenge- and the growth that came from it.

What does balance mean to you, and how does it show up (or not show up) in your life?

Consider the concept of balance in depth and how it aligns with your life’s priorities.

How have your stress levels changed over the last few years, especially with motherhood? How has your perception of ‘success’ or ‘achievement’ shifted?

Reflect on your long-term changes in stress and life goals. This one is a big prompt and will need longer than 5 minutes to get stuck into it properly.

Keep going! These prompts are designed to be more complex!

Are there areas of your life where you are being too hard on yourself? How can you practice more self-compassion?

Explore your inner critic and ways to be gentler with yourself. Can you explore ways to challenge your inner critic?

What are some personal narratives or stories you tell yourself that may no longer serve you? How can you reframe them to promote a healthier mindset?

We tell ourselves stories about our past (and our future) all the time! This prompt will help you to challenge internal stories and reframe them for better wellbeing.

Imagine yourself five years from now, looking back at your current life. What advice would your future self give you about managing stress and maintaining balance?

This prompt moves you to future-thinking, in order to gain perspective on the present.

These 21 powerful journaling prompts will help you to progressively deepen your self-awareness and reclaim control over your stress levels. Developing a regular journaling practice will ultimately help you build a calmer and more balanced life. Even better, all you need is a pen and paper, and 5 minutes a day to get started!

If you enjoyed this post, then check out this article, which outlines 3 techniques to use in order to stop feeling stuck in your career.

September 24, 2024

Why you can love your job but still burn out (and need to leave it)

This post will explain exactly why you can love your job, and still burn out. You will also learn why people who work very rewarding jobs still leave even though they still love the work. Let’s dive in!

But before we get started, you might want to recap the workplace factors that cause burnout first. Part one is linked here, and part two here.

The real reasons why people leave jobs that they love

You might think that loving your job would be enough to protect you from burnout when work gets super stressful. You might also think that loving your job would be enough to stop you from leaving when things get tough.

The truth is that people don’t leave their jobs because they don’t enjoy the work. They also don’t leave because they don’t find the work satisfying. They leave because of these reasons:

The real reasons why people leave their jobs (even if they love them): salary, working conditions, the physical workspace, relationships with colleagues and seniors, policies and rules. Read on to find out which affect you, and what to do next

The things that motivate people to stay in their job include:

The real reasons why people stay in stressful jobs: the work itself, opportunities for advancement, recognition, performance and achievement, job status, responsibility and personal growth — The real reasons why people stay in stressful jobs

Here’s the kicker. The things that motivate you at work (ie. the parts that make you love it) exist on a spectrum completely independently of the things that don’t.

What does this mean? Let’s break it down.

This means is that you can love your job, but still burn out in the presence of the reasons listed above. It also means that both love for your work and dissatisfaction with your work co-exist. That is to say, they are present at the same time.

The things listed above are described in the burnout literature as being like pebbles that grind people down. They can be tolerated, but only in small doses. Over time, the impact of these factors in the context of workplace stress can build up to outweigh the personal satisfaction and value you get from your work, and this can lead to burnout.

Furthermore, when you experience work stress and burnout, you’re more likely to leave your job- even if you love it.

Medicine as an example of a career where you can love the job, but still burn out

Let’s look at medicine as an example. Without a doubt the job itself is incredibly satisfying and rewarding. No doctor finishes a day of work without knowing they have made a positive impact to someone’s life (I know this because I am a doctor of 16 years myself now!).

But, this satisfaction alone is not enough to protect from burnout. It’s also not enough to stop clinicians leaving their jobs even if they love it. They might love spending time with patients, but it’s the working conditions that are driving them away. The list of things that cause doctors to become stressed is long. Things like rota issues, getting a parking space, IT access, getting your annual leave/study leave (in fact, getting any sort of break!), being forced to rotate and move geographical location every few months, very long hours, tough shifts… these are the things that eventually grind clinicians down to the point that they leave healthcare. According to a recent survey carried out by the UK’s medical regulator, 16% of doctors said they had taken hard steps to leave UK practice, compared with 7% in 2021. The reason? Burnout.

The example given above is specific to medicine, but burnout can happen in any job that is rewarding (but still stressful).

This includes jobs such as nursing, teaching, social work, caring, psychology, working for the emergency services and any public sector work. The list is not exhaustive.

What does this mean if you work a stressful job that you love?

Hopefully now you understand why you can love your job, but still burn out. Therefore, you cannot rely on loving your job alone to stop burnout.

It also means that you might end up leaving your job because of stress and burnout. Sadly this can happen even though you still love it.

To help protect yourself against this, here are your next steps:

Familiarise yourself with the work factors that cause burnout (linked above, but you can also click here to get started!). Next, identify the things that are grinding you down at work.
Then, see which pieces of advice, or exercises, linked in the previous post will help you to take control of your stress at work.

If you want to read more about the science behind this, then this article on “The Motivation-Hygiene Theory” is a great place to start.

I’d love to know- is loving your job enough when the work is stressful? What factors have affected your decision to leave a stressful job?

September 7, 2024

The 6 work factors that cause burnout, and how you can successfully stop them now- part 1

There are 6 work factors that cause burnout. Burnout is caused by a problem with just one or more of these factors, in the context of prolonged and unsuccessfully managed stress. That’s right, just one. That’s all it takes.

Very few of us are fortunate enough to have control over our company culture and working environment. So, you might be wondering why it’s important for you to know the work factors that cause burnout.

It’s because these 6 work factors that cause burnout form a key aspect of how to both prevent, and recover, from burnout.

–> If you work in a stressful job, but aren’t burnt out yet, then identification of which factors are directly impacting you at work means that you can take effective steps now to reduce the chances of burnout in the future.

–> If you already identify as being burnt out then working on these factors is crucial for you in your recovery journey. You need to be aware that if you don’t tackle the root cause of your burnout, then the cycle will just keep continuing.

–> If you’re not sure if you’re burnt out, click here to access a burnout quiz to find out.

The 6 work factors that cause burnout are:

The 6 work factors that cause burnout: control, reward, values mismatch, community, fairness, workload

Let’s go into each of these 6 work factors that cause burnout in a bit more detail. This will help you to understand how and why they cause burnout. Even better, you will also learn how you can effectively tackle them!

As there is a lot to cover, the 6 work factors that cause burnout are split into 2 different articles. Part 1 (this post) covers control, reward and values, and part 2 covers community, fairness and workload.

Burnout work factor one: Control

A sense of control over aspects of your work is essential for both burnout prevention and recovery.

In the jobs that burn people out, often the stressors that cause the burnout are far beyond the control of the individual. This might look like your company expecting you to always be available, even into the evenings and at weekends, or huge pressure to hit targets that are set by people who have no idea what the job actually involves. Or, perhaps you’re working in the public sector with a huge caseload, tight budgets, and not enough staff to meet demand.

However, you might well be able to take control over some of the smaller issues instead. Crucially, this will help protect you from burnout.

Now, before you dismiss this as something that isn’t going to help you, scientists have found some fascinating things about control in burnout. They have found that control over the small things is just as effective as control over the bigger things. And, even better, believing you have control is just as effective as having it.

Mind. Blown.

How can simply believing you have control over aspects of your work change burnout? Well, it’s because the people that believe they have control are more proactive in changing how they work and how they cope with stress, thereby reducing their burnout risk.

How to regain your power at work

Here’s how to work out what is within your control at work, and take steps to regain your power.

Step One:

Grab a pen and an A4 piece of paper and draw two concentric circles on it- like this:

In the largest/outer circle, write down your list of concerns about your current work (or life). This is your circle of concerns.

When you’ve filled in the larger circle, go through each item again. Next, write down in the smaller/inner circle those things from the larger circle that you have some influence or direct control over. This is your circle of control.

Here’s an example to help. You are a social worker with a huge and complex case load. You have lots of targets to hit but you are finding it hard due to the emotional toll of the work, and the fact that your team is short staffed (ironically because your team members are off sick with stress) and you have had to take on extra work.

In the circle of concern you might write:

Team member sick leave

Caseload volume and complexity

Organisational policies, targets and expectations

In the circle of control you might write:

Personal time management (how you organise and prioritise your work)

Professional boundaries – establishing clear boundaries about what you can reasonably take on

Peer support from colleagues (be it formal or informal).

Here’s that list shown as an illustration:

Step Two:

Look at what you have written.

Forget about the things in the bigger circle.

Focus your efforts on the things in the smaller circle, ie- the things you can control. You must take steps to implement changes there in order to reduce burnout.

Now, over to you! Do the exercise, and then reflect on which factor in the smallest circle you want to work on first.

Burnout work factor 2: Reward

Another workplace factor that can lead to burnout is a decreased sense of reward. While financial compensation is important, reward also includes positive feedback, professional development support, new opportunities, and engaging in meaningful work. Together, all these elements create a culture of reward.

Feeling fairly rewarded or finding daily work inherently rewarding reduces burnout risk. Conversely, inadequate reward increases burnout risk.

How to feel more rewarded at work

There are lots of ways you could feel more rewarded at work. You could ask for a pay rise, a promotion, or the opportunity to develop your professional skills through training or new opportunities.

If this doesn’t work, then there is another way that you can feel more rewarded at work, which doesn’t necessarily rely on anyone else.

Here’s something wild about burnout: spending just 20% of your work time on personally meaningful tasks can halve your burnout risk. For a 5-day work week, this equates to just one day of meaningful work. If you work an 8 hour day, that’s just over an hour a day doing work that you really love.

Meaningful work reduces burnout risk by HALF

What personally meaningful work actually is varies for each person. So, the first step to feeling more rewarded at work is to identify the work that you find fun, exciting and meaningful.

Step One:

Reflect on your best workdays to identify tasks that energise and uplift you. What tasks, projects or initiatives were you doing on those days that ignited your passion?

Step Two:

Then, think about how you can tweak things to hit that sweet spot of 20% of your time doing those tasks.

Here’s an example to help. You’re a nurse that works on a busy ward. Due to staff shortages, you find that you’re spending increasing amounts of time managing and doing paperwork. You’re not enjoying work and are feeling stressed and unsatisfied. On doing this exercise, you identify that the things you love are caring for patients, and teaching students. In order to spend more time doing this, you decide to supervise a new student that’s on the ward. As a result of spending time with this student, you also spend more time by the bedside too. You start to feel more fulfilled and the stress of the other tasks feel easier to manage!

Burnout work factor 3: Values mismatch

If you are made to work in a way that is in direct conflict with the things that are important to you, then unfortunately you will be at risk of burnout.

For example, you may value collaboration and teamwork, but your employer promotes a highly competitive and individualistic work culture. This mismatch can cause significant stress and lead to burnout.

Or, perhaps you place a high value on independence and the ability to make decisions in your work, but your employer has a micromanagement style and rigid oversight. This conflict can lead to feelings of powerlessness and increased stress, contributing to burnout.

You might value diversity and inclusion, but you work in an organisation that lacks commitment to these principles. The resulting frustration and sense of misalignment can cause significant stress, potentially leading to burnout.

How to avoid values mismatch causing burnout

Step One:

First, you need to work out what your values are!

Not sure what your personal values are? Here’s a video where I take you through what you need to know! Or, you can download a list of values from Brené Brown!

Step Two:

Next, establish what your company’s values are. You can normally find them on their website, or in company training documentation.

For instance, the values of McDonald’s are: serve, inclusion, integrity, community, and family. Meta/Facebook’s values are: move fast, focus on long term impact, built awesome things, live in the future, be direct and respect your colleagues, and Meta, Metamates and me (aka teamwork).

Take a look at what your company values.

Next, you need to ask if they actually work by these values? And do the values they actually work by match with your own values?

If there is a conflict, you will need to assess if the company is a good enough fit for you to stay working there, and avoid burnout.

The next 3 factors that cause work burnout will be published very soon! If you have any questions about what has been covered in this post please feel free to ask in the comments.

About the author

The six work factors that cause burnout and how to manage them to avoid burnout in 2025

1. Lack of control

2. Unfair treatment at work

3. Misalignment of values

4. Excessive workload

5. Lack of community

6. Inadequate rewards

Managing individual risks to avoid burnout in 2025

1. Coping with stress

2. Personality type

3. Neurodiversity

4. Childhood trauma

5. Current mental health problems

6. Introversion

7. Imposter syndrome

8. Perfectionism

Final thoughts on how to successfully avoid burnout in 2025

further reading

About the author:

What is the stress continuum?

Why the stress continuum is such a great tool for working moms

How to use the stress continuum in your daily life

Immediate actions for each zone on the stress continuum

Green Zone: Keep thriving

Yellow Zone: Slow down

Orange Zone: Take action

Red Zone: Get immediate support

Final thoughts on the stress continuum

References

About the author

How perfectionism shows up for working moms

The impact of perfectionism on working moms

Mental and emotional health

Time management challenges

Work-life balance struggles

The Perfectionist Cycle: how it traps you

Why achievement doesn’t satisfy perfectionists

What breaks the perfectionist cycle if it’s not achievement or success?

How perfectionism leads to burnout

Recognizing signs of burnout

5 practical ways working moms can overcome perfectionism in their daily lives

1. Reframe “perfect” as “aligned with your core values”

Practical tip:

2. Challenge your inner critic with real-time statistics

Practical tip:

3. Embrace “good enough” parenting

Practical tip:

4. Practice self-compassion instead of guilt

Practical tip:

5. Seek practical support and professional help

Practical tip:

Final thoughts: permit yourself to live a beautiful, imperfect life

References/Further reading

What is impostor syndrome?

The link between impostor syndrome and burnout

Working moms are especially at risk. Why?

How impostor syndrome shows up for working moms

1. What you think because of imposter syndrome

2. What you feel because of imposter syndrome

3. What you do differently because of imposter syndrome

Why this cycle feels so relentless

The Science Says…

The five types of impostor syndrome (and how to tackle them)

1. The Perfectionist

Therapeutic Exercise:

2. The Superwoman/Superman

Therapeutic Exercise:

3. The Natural Genius

Therapeutic Exercise:

4. The Soloist

Therapeutic Exercise:

5. The Expert

Therapeutic Exercise:

Taking proactive steps

Final Thoughts

About the author:

Why busy working professionals need an online planner for home life

Why Notion the perfect home organization tool for individuals

5 ways working professionals can use Notion to save time and reduce stress at home

2. **What you feel because of imposter syndrome**