Read on to learn the challenges faced by working moms who feel stuck in their careers due to significant past investments of time, effort, and money. This article explores how the sunk cost fallacy (the tendency to continue in a role because of what’s already been invested) can trap individuals in unfulfilling or high-stress jobs, risking burnout.
The post provides three actionable techniques to overcome this feeling of being “stuck”:
- Shifting focus from past investments to future benefits – making career decisions based on current needs and potential growth.
- Using SMART goal setting – establishing Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound goals to move towards fulfilling future outcomes (rather than being tied to past efforts).
- Reframing one’s perspective – viewing previous investments as building blocks for future opportunities rather than as constraints.
By implementing these methods, working moms can realign their career paths with their evolving priorities. You will be able to find greater satisfaction in their professional lives. Whether you look for a new challenge, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, or whether you decide to stay in your current situation- there is something for everyone to help with career development in this article!
About the author
I’m Dr Claire, and I help mothers learn how to successfully manage stressful situations at work. I am passionate about helping moms to boost their current career, and plan their next career move. I know from personal experience just how much hard work it is to successfully juggle the demands of being a mom whilst still doing my best work. It’s my mission to help moms with their professional development so that they can experience less stress and burnout.
If you are a working mom who is feeling stuck in your career, then read on!
How often do you say this to yourself?
“I can’t give up my job, I’ve put so much into it”
Perhaps you used to love your job and got a huge amount out of it. Or, maybe your current job needed a lot of time, training, and commitment to get to the position you now hold.
Perhaps your job is causing you significant stress.
Maybe you’re not feeling happy or fulfilled in your work environment and are craving an opportunity to develop new skills.
Alternatively, you might be worried that you’re at risk of burnout. Working moms are at higher risk than men, or women without children. If you’re not sure if you’re burnt out, then click here to find out.
Do you feel stuck in your career?
First things first, it’s time for some frank honesty. How often do you feel that you are stuck in your career because you feel you have put too much into it to walk away?
Feeling stuck in your career because you’ve put a lot of time, effort, and money into getting there is a very common experience. It’s particularly common if you work a vocational job or one that carries a lot of personal meaning. It’s also a very common thing to experience after having kids. Let’s face it, raising a family whilst continuing your career is stressful. You are expected to work as if you don’t have kids. And if that’s not enough, you also need to mother like you don’t have a job.
The result is that you end up with little time for yourself, with declining job satisfaction and potential mental health challenges. But, more than that, your core values and what’s important to you will likely change after having kids. As a result, you will often question whether it’s the right thing to carry on with your career. So, you might find yourself torn. You might not be sure whether you should continue with a job that you have trained long and hard for. But equally, it might not be serving you in the present moment.
This dilemma can be a tricky one to overcome, but it can be done!
Later on in this post, you will learn 3 ways that you can achieve this. And, by doing so, you will feel happier and at ease with your career decision-making. It doesn’t matter what your career goals are. Whether you’re seeking career advice with a view to a big change with a new job, or simply looking to take small steps to ease things in your current company- this advice is for everyone looking for greater satisfaction at this stage of life.
Who ends up feeling stuck, stressed, and burnt in their careers?
Any job where you have had to commit time, money and effort into it can make you feel stuck. The classic examples are healthcare, teaching, law, architecture and accounting. But, many other jobs not listed can fit this description too!
When you start feeling stuck in your career, you risk getting into a vicious cycle of continuing to invest money, time, and effort into something that isn’t serving you anymore. The more you invest, the more you feel committed to continuing. The more you commit, the more resources you are likely to put in to follow through on your decision. You end up fixated on your past investments, instead of on your present and future costs and benefits.
As a result, you commit yourself to decisions that are no longer in your best interests.
This happens all the time in vocational careers because you invest very heavily into your career. That said, it can occur in any career that has required lengthy training, costly exams, and/or professional regulation.
There is a name for this pattern of thinking, and it’s called the sunk cost fallacy.
What is the sunk cost fallacy?
The sunk cost fallacy is a biased way of thinking that means we follow through on an endeavor or decision if we have already invested time, effort, or money into it. This follow-through happens regardless of whether or not the current costs outweigh the benefits.
Part of the reason why you get sucked into the sunk cost fallacy is because of loss aversion. Loss aversion describes the fact that the impact of losses feels much worse compared to the positive impact of gains. Therefore, you are more likely to avoid losses than to seek out gains. For instance, you might worry that you won’t have enough money and risk your financial security if you move on from your current position. But, if you decide to stay in a job that actively harms you just because of past investment, you risk burnout.
If this is you, then this way of thinking will stop you from moving forward. Believing that you need to carry on because of what you’ve already invested is completely normal. But, ultimately, it will stop you from making good decisions about your future.
Stopping feeling stuck in your career doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll leave the career that you originally intended for yourself (and worked so hard to achieve). Stopping feeling stuck simply means that you will no longer be making decisions about your career based on costs that are not retrievable.
If you’d like to overcome this way of thinking, here are 3 easy techniques to help you stop feeling stuck in your career:
Stop feeling stuck in your career by shifting your thinking from past costs to future benefits
The first step is that you must shift your current thinking from focusing on past investments to focusing solely on any future costs and benefits of a decision. You have to disregard any previous costs from your current decision-making. It doesn’t matter if these costs were financial, time, or otherwise. Whatever it is, it cannot factor into your current decision-making. Concentrate on the here and now, and the potential future gains. This is hard- but this is how you avoid the sunk cost fallacy.
Example: A burnt-out lawyer who wants to change jobs, but feels stuck in her career
Here’s an example to help you do this exercise! Let’s take a working mom who is a burnt-out lawyer. She’s spent years studying, passing the bar, and working long hours at a firm. Now she’s unhappy, but she feels that switching careers would be a waste of all the effort she’s put in. She has a lot of negative thoughts about her original career choice, but she also has a fear of change. This is the sunk cost fallacy in action. She’s focusing on the time and resources already spent rather than what’s best for her future.
The key to overcoming the sunk cost fallacy here is for her to evaluate her situation based on her current needs and future opportunities. For instance, she might explore transitioning into a legal role in a different industry. In this industry, work-life balance and flexibility might be a better fit. By focusing on how a career change could provide more time for her family, personal satisfaction, and professional growth, she can shift her thinking toward future benefits instead of the sunk costs of her current role.
stop feeling stuck in your career by Prioritising SMART goal-setting
You can help overcome the sunk cost fallacy and stop feeling stuck in your career by prioritizing SMART goal setting and concrete actions. SMART goal setting (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) helps overcome the sunk cost fallacy by providing a clear framework to make intentional decisions about the future. It focuses on progress and growth rather than past investments. Your SMART goals will help you to take actionable steps toward your desired outcomes. It will make it easier to move forward rather than staying stuck because of past time, energy, or financial investments.
Here’s how to do this:
Expanded example: A burnt-out lawyer who wants to change jobs, but feels stuck in her career
Let’s return to the example of a lawyer. She’s feeling unfulfilled, overworked, and stuck in her current role, but she’s hesitant to make a career change because of the years of education and experience she’s already invested in. The good news is that by using SMART goals, she can shift her focus away from the past and toward achievable, realistic future outcomes. She starts by setting some short-term goals, as outlined here:
Short-Term Goals (3-6 months):
- Specific: Explore alternative career paths where her legal skills are valued, but the work-life balance is better.
- Measurable: Research at least three different industries and apply to five jobs in the healthcare, technology, or nonprofit sectors.
- Achievable: Set aside one hour every day for research, networking, and updating her resume and LinkedIn profile.
- Relevant: The goal is aligned with her need for better work-life balance and professional satisfaction.
- Time-bound: Complete this exploration and initial job applications within the next six months.
By focusing on a short-term goal like this, she’ll break the cycle of the sunk cost fallacy. You can see from the goals that she is shifting her energy from dwelling on past investments, to finding a new career path.
She can set medium and long-term goals in the same way too!
stop feeling stuck in your career by Reframing your thinking
In order to become unstuck in your career, you must reframe your thinking. Stop thinking about the costs you have already spent in creating your career.
Instead of thinking, “I can’t make changes because I’ve put so much into getting to where I am now, it would be a waste to walk away”, tell yourself, “I am in a great position to make changes because of the investment I have made into my career so far”.
Let’s go back to our burnt-out lawyer to see how she could use reframing to help her stop feeling stuck in her career.
Expanded example: A burnt-out lawyer who wants to change jobs, but feels stuck in her career
Negative Thought:
“I’ve spent so many years studying and working in law. If I leave now, all that effort and time will be wasted.”
Reframed Positive Thought:
“Years of studying and working in law have given me valuable skills and experience that I can carry into a new role. These skills, like critical thinking, problem-solving, and negotiation, are transferable. They will help me succeed in a field that better aligns with my current needs and future goals.”
How Reframing Helps:
Instead of viewing her past work as a sunk cost that locks her into a career she no longer enjoys, the lawyer reframes it as a foundation for her next step. She acknowledges that her legal experience isn’t wasted—it’s simply part of a journey that can evolve. By reframing this negative thought, she can see the past as something that adds value to her future rather than something that restricts her.
This shift in thinking can be empowering and helps her break free from feeling stuck. It allows her to embrace change with confidence, knowing that the past has contributed to her growth and can still serve her in new ways.
I hope that this has been helpful for all of you who are feeling stuck in your stressful careers! Let me know in the comments which techniques you try, and how it has helped you.