You made it through the first maternity leave and the monumental return to work after baby number one. But now, you’re facing the second return, and let’s be real—it’s a whole new level of chaos. Two kids? Twice the love, but also twice the exhaustion. The balancing act you perfected the first time is now cranked up to 11. Suddenly, you’re juggling the needs of two little humans, work, and let’s not forget—some semblance of your sanity.
The return to work after maternity leave is hard enough the first time around. Add a second baby into the mix, and suddenly you’re managing a whole new level of chaos. If you’re a working mom staring down the barrel of full time (or part time) work with a crying baby on one hip and a toddler tugging at your leg, you’re not alone. This article will help you plan your return to the working world in a way that preserves your mental health, minimizes stress, and, dare I say, allows you to thrive.
Let’s dive into the nitty-gritty, no-fluff realities of this monumental transition—and how to handle it like the amazing mom you are. Burnout can feel inevitable when working moms return after a second maternity leave but it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s dive into why returning after your second baby is so much harder and how you can keep burnout at bay to start, before we move onto some exercises to reframe your worries, and some practical tips to ease the transition as you return to work.
About the author:
Dr Claire is a doctor and careers coach specializing in helping working moms navigate life transitions with grace and humor. As a mom of two herself, she’s passionate about empowering women to prioritize their mental health and create a fulfilling balance between work and home life. Her first book, The Burnout Doctor, is being published in January 2025! It is packed full of advice, practical tips and exercises to help you manage your stress better, and reduce burnout. You can also sign up for her weekly email newsletter here.
Why the return to work After Your Second Maternity Leave Is So Much Harder
Double the Children, Double the Chaos
If you thought the transition from zero to one child was tough, the shift from one to two can feel like you’ve been thrust into an endless juggling act. Managing the logistics of two kids—navigating daycare drop-offs, doctor’s appointments, and, oh yes, sleep schedules—is like being in a high-stakes game show where the grand prize is…exhaustion. And the mental load? It’s now in overdrive.
Less Time for Yourself
With two kids, any shred of “me-time” you once had is probably non-existent. There’s less time to recharge, and you’re more likely to put your needs on the back burner. Combine this with the pressure of returning to work, and burnout becomes a serious risk.
Workplace Challenges
Returning to work after a second maternity leave often feels different from the first time around. Maybe your responsibilities have shifted, or you’re working in a different capacity (hello, part-time hours). You may feel the pressure to prove yourself all over again, and with the added responsibility of two children, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the expectation to “do it all.”
The “Motherhood Penalty,” Round Two
There’s no denying that working moms face bias in the workplace—often referred to as the “motherhood penalty.” With two kids, the stigma can feel even stronger, as employers may assume you’re less committed or less available for career advancement. This unfair pressure can make you feel like you have to work twice as hard to keep up, adding fuel to the burnout fire.
You’re a different person
Motherhood changes you, and going back to work after a second child means navigating a new emotional state, new priorities, and a redefined family unit.
The logistics are wild
Two kids mean more daycare costs, more planning, and way more time spent prepping for the day ahead. (How do those little people need so much stuff?)
Separation anxiety—on both sides
It’s not just your new baby who cries when you leave; it’s your toddler, too. And if you’re being honest, sometimes it’s you in the parking lot.
The most common worries moms have when planning their return to work
Sound familiar? Here’s what most moms worry about during this phase:
- “Will my baby be okay in daycare?” The high costs and separation anxiety make this a top concern.
- “How will I handle the sleep deprivation?” Sleepless nights aren’t just for new moms—they’re for moms with older kids too.
- “What if I’m no longer good at my job?” Time away and new priorities often lead to impostor syndrome.
- “How will I balance it all?” Work hours, home life, and everything in between—it feels impossible.
Exercises to reframe your worries about the return to work
Worry #1: Will my baby be okay in daycare?
- Try this: Write down your biggest fears and then list the evidence to the contrary. For example, “Daycare will ruin my baby” might be countered with “Many studies show that high-quality child care services promote social skills.”
Worry #2: How will I handle the sleep deprivation?
- Try this: This is a tricky one, especially if your little one is not sleeping through the night. In this case, create a daily to-do list and prioritize only the essentials. This way, your limited energy will be saved for the things that really matter. Remember, it’s okay to leave some things undone- and also to ask for help from your partner, family or friends.
Worry #3: What if I’m no longer good at my job?
- Try this: List the new skills you’ve developed as a parent—time management, multitasking, and crisis management—and consider how they make you a stronger professional.
Worry #4: How will I balance it all?
- Try this: Block out time for yourself. Even 10 minutes during lunch breaks to breathe or journal can help restore balance.
What HR wants you to know about planning your return to work
As someone who’s worked with countless working parents, here are 10 practical tips tips straight from the HR playbook, to help ease your return to work after having a second baby:
1. Communicate your needs early and often
Your first conversation with HR or your manager should cover your immediate needs, like flexibility during the first couple of weeks, private spaces for pumping, or adjustments to your work hours. But communication doesn’t stop there. Keep the lines open as your needs evolve. For example, if separation anxiety or a sudden daycare closure arises, don’t hesitate to ask for temporary accommodations.
2. Take advantage of all available benefits
Many new parents overlook the benefits their company or federal law provides, such as parental leave benefits, short-term disability, or sick leave. Familiarize yourself with these policies, even if you don’t need them right away. They’re your safety net when unexpected challenges arise. HR can also guide you on childcare service subsidies, flexible hours, or wellness programs designed to support working moms.
3. Set manageable goals and expectations
Let’s be real: your first week back is not the best time to volunteer for a high-profile project. Start small. Break your work day into achievable chunks and celebrate small victories. Share your bandwidth honestly with your team so they can set realistic expectations for you too.
4. Consider a phased return if possible
Returning to full-time work after months of parental leave can be overwhelming. A phased return—working part-time hours or half days—gives you time to adjust without diving headfirst into the deep end. Even a temporary arrangement, such as reduced hours for the first couple of weeks, can be a game changer for both your work life and home life.
5. Tap into your support network
Identify your go-to people for help: family members for last-minute daycare backups, a close friend to vent to, or colleagues who can step in if you’re unexpectedly out. Also, join parenting support groups—whether they’re for working parents or specifically for new mothers. It’s comforting to connect with others navigating similar challenges.
6. Advocate for a mom-friendly work environment
If your company lacks basics like private spaces for pumping or flexible work hours, it’s worth speaking up. HR may not be aware of the gaps, and advocating for changes can benefit not just you but future working parents too. Even something as simple as requesting 15-minute buffers between meetings can make a huge difference.
7. Prepare for the unexpected
Daycare closures, sick days, or a little while when separation anxiety hits your child hard—these moments are inevitable. Have a backup plan ready, like a secondary childcare provider, a trusted family member, or the ability to switch to remote work temporarily. Having a plan will reduce stress when the unexpected happens.
8. Master the art of prioritization
Every working parent’s best friend is a well-crafted daily to-do list. Rank tasks by importance, not urgency. Remember, you don’t need to tackle everything in one day. Some things can wait, and learning to let go of the “perfect parent” or “perfect employee” ideal will do wonders for your mental health.
9. Make time for self-care—even during work hours
It’s easy to forget yourself in the flurry of work and parenting, but even little moments matter. Use part of your lunch break to take a walk, meditate, or simply sit in silence. These small acts of self-care add up and can prevent burnout.
10. Plan for reentry hiccups
Understand that the transition back to work will come with challenges. Maybe your first day doesn’t go as planned, or the new routine feels overwhelming during the first couple of weeks. Be patient with yourself and your family. Remind yourself that this adjustment is temporary, and things will settle into a rhythm over time.
The bottom line
Returning to work after a second baby doesn’t have to be a trial by fire. By communicating your needs, tapping into your benefits, and leaning on your support network, you can make this transition a smoother, less stressful experience. And remember, you’re not just managing work and parenting—you’re redefining success on your terms.
Ruthlessly practical advice to help you ease the return to work after your second baby
Prep the night before:
Lay out outfits, pack lunches, and double-check the diaper bag. These small steps can save precious time during chaotic mornings.
Focus on what matters most:
The mental load is real. Choose what tasks are essential, and let go of the rest—this isn’t the time for perfection. You might find this article on how to reframe productivity tools to make them work for working moms helpful.
Create a family calendar:
Use a shared digital calendar to track daycare schedules, pediatrician appointments, and work deadlines. This is especially helpful if you’re managing a single-parent household or have family members helping with child care. I personally use the free version of Notion (read more about why the free version is more than enough for the needs of working moms here!).
Prioritize your mental health:
A little while spent on self-care, like a short walk or meditation during your lunch break, can recharge you for the rest of the work day.
Lower Your Standards (Seriously, Lower Them!):
Remember when you had one baby and managed to get out the door looking halfway presentable? Those days are over, my friend. With two kids, some days, success is simply getting everyone dressed—bonus points if you remember to put on pants. Accept that things will not always go smoothly, and that’s okay. You don’t have to be supermum every single day. Cut yourself some slack. Sanity tip: Create a “good enough” checklist—what must be done versus what can be let go. If your work gets done, your kids are fed, and everyone is alive by bedtime, you’re winning.
Master the Art of Tag-Teaming:
If you have a partner, teamwork is your lifeline. Sit down and divide household and parenting responsibilities as fairly as possible. One of you handles morning routines, the other does bedtime. Whoever isn’t on baby duty can take a breather. If you’re flying solo, outsource what you can—whether it’s meal delivery or asking family to help with childcare. Sanity tip: Schedule a weekly “team meeting” with your partner to reassess what’s working and what needs adjusting. Approach it like a work meeting—efficient and focused on solutions.
Implement a Strict Schedule (But Build in Buffer Time)
With two kids, routines are your best friend. Implement a daily schedule that helps everyone know what’s happening and when, including work, pick-ups, meal times, and bedtime. But—and this is key—build in buffer time. You know things will go off track (cue the surprise toddler tantrum), so give yourself wiggle room to avoid the rush-induced stress. Sanity tip: Use calendar apps to organize both work and home life in one place, so nothing slips through the cracks. Set reminders for everything—pickups, meetings, even when to breathe!
Be Ruthless About Self-Care (Even If It’s Just 5 Minutes)
Self-care may seem impossible with two kids, but you need it now more than ever. Find small moments during the day to do something for you, whether it’s a 5-minute meditation before the kids wake up, sneaking a cup of coffee during nap time, or getting in a quick walk after work. It’s not about grand gestures—it’s about tiny, regular breaks to recharge. Sanity tip: Put self-care on the schedule, and treat it like a non-negotiable meeting. You wouldn’t skip a work meeting, right? The same rules apply.
Manage Expectations at Work (And Advocate for Flexibility)
Returning after a second maternity leave means you might have different priorities, and that’s okay. Be honest with your employer about what you need to thrive—whether it’s flexible hours, remote work options, or fewer responsibilities (at least in the short term). Advocating for yourself might feel daunting, but it’s crucial for your well-being and long-term career success. Sanity tip: Practice saying “no” to extra projects or after-hours work that could tip you into burnout territory. Set boundaries early on and stick to them.
Plan your first week carefully
Start with half days or part-time hours if possible. It gives you a chance to ease into the new routine without feeling overwhelmed.
Negotiate flexible hours or remote work
Many workplaces are more accommodating post-pandemic, and it’s worth asking for what you need.
Communicate with your employer
Set boundaries for work hours and advocate for any accommodations, like private spaces for pumping or time off for sick days.
Hire help if you can
Whether it’s a babysitter, cleaning service, or a June care host for extra hands, this can be the best decision you’ll make.
Final thoughts on surviving (and thriving) the return to work after your second baby:
Returning to work after your second maternity leave is no joke. The challenges are real, and it’s easy to feel like you’re one meltdown (yours or the kids) away from losing it. But with a little planning, a lot of humor, and some solid boundaries, you can survive this transition without burning out. Remember, you’re not alone. There are thousands of working mums navigating this exact same path—and we’re all just doing our best. So, lower those standards, embrace the chaos, and take it one (baby) step at a time.
Returning to work after a second baby is a hard time, but it doesn’t have to break you. With a clear plan, a solid support network, and practical strategies, you can conquer this new normal and even find joy in the balance. Remember, you’re not just a working mom—you’re a superhero in disguise, navigating the wild ride of full-time work and family life.
As always, if you have any comments please put them below. I’ll respond to each one personally.
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