The Burnout Doctor

Doctoring burnt out working professionals to manage stress and achieve career success

Proven strategies to prevent and avoid burnout in 2025

Here’s exactly how you can avoid burnout in 2025.

Burnout isn’t new, but its causes and consequences are evolving. With the rise of remote work and hybrid setups, many professionals are grappling with unique challenges that impact their work-life balance. According to the World Health Organization, burnout is a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed, often leading to emotional exhaustion, reduced performance, and feelings of detachment.

Burnout is a multifaceted challenge influenced by both workplace factors and individual vulnerabilities. You can create a more positive work environment by addressing the six key drivers of burnout—control, fairness, values, workload, community, and rewards. Equally important is managing personal risks such as stress coping mechanisms, personality traits, neurodiversity, and mental health challenges. Proactive solutions like job crafting, time-blocking, gratitude journaling, and trauma-informed self-care are grounded in neuroscience and psychology, offering practical ways to build resilience and prevent emotional exhaustion. With these strategies, sustainable success and a balanced personal and professional life are within reach.

This guide will explore how to avoid burnout in 2025 by addressing the six work factors that most commonly contribute to it.  You’ll also learn effective strategies to successfully manage your risk of burnout.  Your goal?  To thrive both in your personal life and your professional roles.

About the author

Dr Claire Ashley is a doctor with years of experience helping professionals create positive work environments. Passionate about blending psychology, neuroscience, and practical solutions, she provides engaging online discussions, interactive workshops, and live online sessions to promote sustainable well-being.  Her first book, The Burnout Doctor, is being published internationally on 30th January 2025- pre-order your copy now by clicking here! 

The six work factors that cause burnout and how to manage them to avoid burnout in 2025

Discover the 6 work factors that cause burnout- and how to avoid them in 2025
Discover the 6 work factors that cause burnout- and how to avoid them in 2025

1. Lack of control

Feeling powerless in your current job—from unclear expectations or micromanagement—creates high-stress levels. This lack of autonomy increases the risk of burnout.

Proactive solution to avoid burnout in 2025: Incorporate “job crafting” into your routine. This strategy, backed by studies, involves adjusting how you complete tasks or interact with colleagues to better align with your strengths and values. For example, if you excel at mentoring team members, propose a peer specialist program to HR leaders.

Why it works: Job crafting enhances autonomy, which research shows reduces workplace stress and increases job satisfaction. By reshaping aspects of your role, you feel more empowered and engaged.

2. Unfair treatment at work

When employees perceive favoritism, inconsistent rules, or toxic work environments, their motivation plummets.

Proactive solution: Advocate for open communication and regular check-ins. Suggest using an anonymous engagement tool like Officevibe to gather feedback and promote fairness within your team.

Why it works: Open communication builds trust and ensures fairness by giving all staff members a voice. Regular feedback mechanisms highlight inequities early, improving employee morale and retention rates.

3. Misalignment of values

Working in a role that clashes with your core beliefs or personal goals breeds discontent and chronic stress.

Proactive solution: Identify your “non-negotiables” during a dedicated time of self-reflection. Then, communicate them with HR leaders to ensure your job responsibilities and company culture align with what matters most to you.

Why it works: Aligning personal values with workplace demands reduces cognitive dissonance, a known stressor. When employees work in environments that reflect their core beliefs, they feel more fulfilled and motivated.

4. Excessive workload

An overwhelming workload or constant pressure to meet deadlines leads to emotional exhaustion. 

Proactive solution: Practice time-blocking with a twist inspired by Cal Newport’s “Deep Work.” Dedicate your first two hours each morning to undistracted, high-priority tasks, and reserve afternoons for simpler tasks and regular breaks.

Why it works: Focusing on high-priority tasks during peak productivity hours helps you accomplish more in less time, decreasing the likelihood of emotional exhaustion. This method also ensures you incorporate recovery periods into your day, which combat the effects of long hours.

5. Lack of community

Feeling isolated at work reduces employee morale and increases signs of burnout. Social interactions are crucial for employee engagement and job satisfaction.

Proactive solution: Organize interactive workshops or live online sessions where staff members can collaborate and connect. Hybrid work models also benefit from virtual coffee breaks for informal chats.

Why it works: Building a sense of community boosts employee engagement and satisfaction. Positive social interactions reduce workplace stress and create an environment where team members feel valued.

6. Inadequate rewards

A lack of recognition—whether financial or emotional—leads to disengagement.

Proactive solution: Start a “recognition jar” initiative. Team members write down positive notes about peers’ contributions, which are read aloud during meetings to boost employee satisfaction and morale.

Why it works: Recognition activates the brain’s reward system, increasing dopamine levels and reinforcing positive behaviors. Feeling appreciated enhances job satisfaction and reduces signs of employee burnout.

Managing individual risks to avoid burnout in 2025

Discover how you can manage your stress better to avoid burnout in 2025
Discover how you can manage your stress better to avoid burnout in 2025

1. Coping with stress

Some stress management techniques work better than others, depending on the individual. Chronic stress often stems from poor coping habits.

Proactive solution to avoid burnout in 2025: Try the “5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique” during stressful moments. This mindfulness exercise helps reduce blood pressure and anxiety by focusing on your senses. This technique asks you to focus on 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.

Why it works: Grounding techniques interrupt spiraling thoughts by engaging your senses, which calms your nervous system and reduces symptoms of chronic stress.

2. Personality type

Perfectionists or individuals with high expectations for themselves often face greater risks of burnout.

Proactive solution: Use “compassionate self-talk.” Remind yourself, “Hard work is enough,” and celebrate small wins with a gratitude journal to combat unrealistic expectations.

Why it works: Self-compassion reduces the pressure of perfectionism and prevents burnout by shifting focus from shortcomings to achievements. Gratitude journaling rewires your brain to focus on positive experiences, fostering resilience.

3. Neurodiversity

Neurodivergent individuals may struggle with rigid workplace norms, increasing workplace stress.

Proactive solution: Request flexible schedules and advocate for inclusive tools and reasonable adjustments, which can help you manage life-work assignments and decrease burnout.

Why it works: Flexibility allows neurodivergent individuals to work during their most productive times, accommodating their unique needs. Tools like Trello provide visual organization, making complex tasks easier to manage.

4. Childhood trauma

Unresolved trauma may amplify symptoms of burnout due to heightened sensitivity to stress.

Proactive solution: Enroll in a trauma-informed online course or connect with mental health providers offering virtual counseling services.

Why it works: Trauma-informed approaches address underlying triggers that exacerbate workplace stress. Therapy and education empower you to manage emotions effectively and prevent burnout.

5. Current mental health problems

Existing issues like anxiety or depression magnify burnout’s impact.

Proactive solution: Dedicate time to regular mental health days outside of work. Use this opportunity to engage in self-care activities like nature walks or virtual therapy sessions. Please also speak to your doctor so that you can manage your current mental health problems effectively.

Why it works: Mental health days provide a break from constant pressure, giving your mind and body a chance to recover. Self-care activities lower stress levels and improve overall well-being.

6. Introversion

Introverts often feel drained by dual roles requiring extensive social interactions. 

Proactive solution: Set boundaries for screen time and social interactions. Schedule “no-meeting afternoons” to recharge without sacrificing employee well-being.

Why it works: Introverts recharge through solitude. Limiting overstimulation during peak energy-draining periods helps maintain their engagement and productivity.

7. Imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome feeds self-doubt, which can exacerbate workplace stress and burnout.

Proactive solution: Use the “fake it till you make it” strategy with a twist: set small, achievable goals that demonstrate your expertise, building confidence incrementally.

Why it works: Breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps creates a track record of success, countering feelings of inadequacy. Confidence builds over time as you achieve consistent wins.

8. Perfectionism

Perfectionism can lead to long hours and loss of motivation when outcomes fall short of high expectations.

Proactive solution: Adopt the “80% rule.” Stop tweaking projects once they’re “good enough” to maintain sustainable success and overall performance.

Why it works: The “80% rule” prevents you from overinvesting time and energy in diminishing returns. Letting go of unattainable standards reduces stress while still delivering quality results.

By understanding the psychology and neuroscience behind these solutions, you can integrate them into your daily life with confidence that they will make a difference.

Final thoughts on how to successfully avoid burnout in 2025

Burnout is a common challenge in today’s high-pressure work environments, but the good news is that it’s preventable. You can avoid burnout in 2025 by addressing the six core factors of workplace burnout and managing your risks. By using the solutions presented in this article, you can achieve both long-term success and sustainable well-being.

further reading

  1. Newport, C. (2016). Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World.
  2. World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an “occupational phenomenon”: International Classification of Diseases.

*some of the links in this article may be affiliate

Self-employment: the cause or cure for burnout in working moms?

Being a working mom is no small feat, and when you add self-employment to the mix, life can feel like a constant juggling act. On one hand, self-employed moms enjoy greater flexibility, the ability to create their schedules, and the possibility of escaping the corporate world’s rigidity. On the other hand, self-employed working moms face unique challenges that can increase stress levels, especially when trying to balance work time, family life, and personal health.  Moms often turn to self-employment to help ease burnout after struggling to balance the simultaneous demands of parenting and work.

is self-employment the cause or the cure for burnout in working moms?

It’s complicated:

The answer is that self-employment is both a cause of burnout, and the cure for it.

Whether self-employment is good or bad for your burnout risk is entirely dependent on your personal circumstances.

In this post, we’ll explore why self-employed working moms are particularly vulnerable to stress and burnout, and then uncover strategies to manage these pressures effectively. But, we’ll also dive into how self-employment can (paradoxically) also help moms recover from burnout and live a more balanced life.

Stuck in a job that’s burning you out and wondering if going self employed will help? By the end, you’ll have a clearer idea of whether self-employment is the right choice for you.

About the author:

Dr Claire is a burnout expert and mom of 2.  Her book first book, The Burnout Doctor, is being published in January 2025.  Pre-order your copy now!

The double-edged sword of self-employment for working moms

Why self-employment can increase stress levels

Let’s begin by talking about how being self-employed can increase stress levels for working moms. While being a self-employed mom comes with exciting benefits like greater flexibility and autonomy, it’s important to recognize the stressors that often accompany it:

  1. Financial uncertainty
    Self-employed individuals don’t have the steady paycheck of a full-time job. Add to that the pressure of covering expenses like child care, health insurance, and short-term disability insurance without employer support, and the stress can quickly mount. For working moms managing household budgets, the lack of a predictable income can be a major source of anxiety.
  2. Blurring boundaries between work and personal life
    Without a corporate structure or “official” work time, self-employed moms often work during family moments, school holidays, or even evening hours. A little corner office in the home might lack the separation needed to maintain a healthy work-life balance, leaving moms feeling they’re neither fully present at work nor home.
  3. Increased mental load
    Managing every aspect of your business—from accounting during tax time to building social media accounts—adds significant pressure. For working moms already responsible for the bulk of parental leave logistics, school pick-ups, and a seemingly endless to-do list, the additional business running can tip the scales toward burnout.
  4. Lack of support systems
    Self-employed people miss out on many corporate benefits, such as paid leave programs, employer-provided health insurance, and even coworkers to commiserate with. Self-employed mothers may feel isolated compared to their counterparts in the labor force.

Here’s an example to demonstrate how self employment can increase stress and burnout:

Example 1: Stress levels raised by self-employment

Name: Sarah

Job: Freelance graphic designer

Family and home setup: Sarah is a single mom of two young kids, aged 4 and 7, living in a small apartment in New York. She has no local family support and relies on paid child care. Her budget is tight, and her biggest concern is ensuring she has enough money to cover rent, child care, and health insurance.

Why self-employment increases her stress:

  • Financial instability: Sarah’s freelance income fluctuates dramatically from month to month, and she struggles to keep up with expenses.
  • Overwhelming workload: Since she has to manage all aspects of her business, including finding clients, invoicing, and marketing, her to-do list feels never-ending.
  • Blurred boundaries: With her kids home during school holidays and limited space for a dedicated home office, Sarah finds it challenging to focus on her work.
  • Isolation: As a self-employed individual, Sarah doesn’t have coworkers to lean on, leaving her feeling unsupported and alone in her challenges.

For Sarah, the financial and logistical demands of self-employment outweigh the benefits of flexibility, leaving her feeling more stressed than she was in her previous full-time job. Her stress levels are raised, and she is at risk of burnout. Here are some ideas to help her avoid burnout that would help any self-employed working. mom:

Practical strategies for managing stress and burnout when self-employed

Thankfully, self-employed moms don’t have to succumb to burnout. Here’s how to stay in the right mind zone and manage stress effectively:

  1. Set clear boundaries
    Create a ‘home-free’ work area or dedicated workspace to minimize distractions and separate work from family life.
  2. Prioritize self-care
    Schedule non-negotiable breaks for enough sleep, exercise, and quality time with loved ones. Organizing an achievable, doable list of priority items helps make room for these essential moments.
  3. Build a support network
    Whether through professional associations, nonprofit organizations, or other self-employed women, lean on a community for advice and support.
  4. Delegate where possible
    Outsource smaller pieces of your workload, such as hiring a freelance writer for marketing tasks or a project manager for administrative work.
  5. Stay financially prepared
    Create a financial buffer to navigate slower months, and explore private insurer plans for essential benefits like medical leave.

It is possible to manage stress effectively, and avoid burnout as a self-employed working mom.

However, whilst being self-employed can be very stressful for working moms (and could even lead to burnout), it can also help prevent burnout.

The paradox of self-employment: stressor and savior

Surprisingly, self-employment can also be a solution for working moms to recover from burnout. While it presents challenges, it offers something that many stressed moms desperately need: control over their lives.

Why self-employment can help reduce stress

  1. Greater flexibility
    The ability to create your schedule means you can attend to family priorities like maternity leave or school holidays without asking for permission or sacrificing income.
  2. More meaningful work
    Many moms find that running their businesses aligns with their passions, giving them a sense of purpose missing in the corporate world.
  3. Freedom from the “motherhood penalty”
    Self-employed moms escape the subtle (and sometimes overt) biases that working mothers face in the traditional labor market.
  4. Customizable workload
    Unlike a rigid full-time job, self-employment allows moms to work part-time, in smaller pieces, or during hours that suit their family life.

But what about you?  How do you know if self employment is the right chose for your stress levels as a working mother?  Take the quiz to find out! 

Quiz: Will self-employment ease your stress?

Take this short quiz to see if self-employment might help you reduce stress:

1. Do you feel that your current job allows you enough time for family priorities?

  • Yes / No

2. Do you feel emotionally drained at the end of your workday?

  • Yes / No

3. Do you thrive on independence and decision-making?

  • Yes / No

4. Are you financially prepared to handle unpredictable income for at least six months?

  • Yes / No

5. Do you have access to child care or a supportive partner/family?

  • Yes / No

If you answered “No” to questions 1 and 4, but “Yes” to 3, self-employment might be a good idea for reducing your stress.

How self-employment can help manage stress levels

Self-employment offers unique benefits that can directly address some of the root causes of stress and burnout for working moms. Here’s how it can help:

  1. Control over your schedule
    • Benefit: Self-employed moms have the power to set thwie hours, allowing them to work during their most productive times or fit work around family responsibilities.
    • Why it works (science backed!): Autonomy in scheduling significantly reduces work-related stress.
  2. Alignment with personal values
    • Benefit: Running your own business allows you to pursue projects that align with your passions and goals.
    • Why it works (science backed!): When work feels meaningful, it becomes less draining and more fulfilling. This emotional alignment can help stave off burnout.
  3. Avoiding the corporate “motherhood penalty”
    • Benefit: Self-employed mothers sidestep biases against working moms, such as being overlooked for promotions or assignments.
    • Why it works: Eliminating the psychological toll of workplace discrimination creates a healthier mental space.
  4. Opportunity for better work-life balance
    • Benefit: Self-employment allows you to integrate work into family life more seamlessly. For example, you can take breaks for school events or personal milestones.
    • Why it works: Flexibility means you’re more likely to meet your own needs and those of your family without the constant tug-of-war between roles.
  5. Scalable workload
    • Benefit: Self-employed individuals can tailor the amount of work they take on, scaling it up or down based on life circumstances.
    • Why it works: The ability to lighten your load during high-stress periods (like a new baby or school holidays) can prevent overwhelm.

As you can see, self employment can both help and cause burnout- but whether it’s the right choice for you is entirely dependent on your personal circumstances.

Practical advice: Is self-employment better for your stress levels?

Transitioning to self-employment isn’t a cure-all for stress, but it can offer solutions to specific challenges. Use these steps to determine if it’s the right move for you:

  1. Identify your stress triggers
    • Write down what’s causing the most stress in your current role: lack of flexibility, long hours, an unsupportive work environment, or financial instability.
  2. Compare your needs with self-employment benefits
    • If your stressors revolve around a rigid schedule or a lack of autonomy, self-employment might be a great fit. However, if you thrive on structured environments or struggle with financial uncertainty, self-employment might increase your stress.
  3. Evaluate your support system
    • Do you have access to reliable child care or support from a partner? Self-employment works best when there’s a foundation of support for unexpected challenges.
  4. Test your adaptability
    • Consider how comfortable you are with uncertainty. Can you handle variable income and unforeseen work challenges without feeling overwhelmed?
  5. Seek advice from self-employed moms
    • Talk to other self-employed women in similar life stages. Their experiences can provide valuable insights into the day-to-day realities of balancing motherhood and business ownership.

By thoughtfully weighing these factors, you can make a well-informed decision that aligns with your unique situation. Here’s an example to help you work this out:

Example 2: Stress levels decreased by self-employment

Name: Emily

Job: Boutique owner and part-time freelance writer

Family and home setup: Emily lives in a suburban home in New Jersey with her spouse and three kids, ages 2, 5, and 10. Her partner has a stable full-time job with benefits, and they share parenting duties. Emily’s mother also lives nearby and helps with child care.

Why self-employment decreases her stress:

  • Flexible schedule: Emily can schedule work during school hours and nap times, leaving her evenings free for family dinners and personal life.
  • Aligned priorities: Emily loves the creative freedom of running her boutique and writing about topics she’s passionate about.
  • Shared responsibilities: Her spouse’s steady income provides peace of mind, reducing the pressure to generate a significant income every month.
  • Better work-life balance: Emily has created a well-organized schedule that allows her to attend school events and take personal days when needed.

For Emily, self-employment is an empowering choice that allows her to create a harmonious balance between her work, family, and personal goals.

If you’re still a little stuck about whether self-employment will help your stress levels then these journal prompts will allow for some deeper reflection.

Journal questions for self-reflection

  1. What are my primary sources of stress in my current job?
    • Is it financial pressure, time constraints, lack of flexibility, or something else?
  2. What aspects of my life would I like to improve through self-employment?
    • More time with family, greater autonomy, or the ability to pursue work I’m passionate about?
  3. Do I have the financial stability to handle the unpredictability of self-employment?
    • If not, what steps can I take to build a safety net?
  4. How much support do I have at home?
    • Can my partner, family, or childcare providers help with parenting or household tasks?
  5. Am I comfortable with multitasking and handling multiple roles (e.g., business owner, marketer, accountant)?
    • If not, could outsourcing or seeking professional help ease this burden?
  6. How do I feel about working alone?
    • Would I miss the camaraderie of coworkers, or do I thrive in independent environments?
  7. What steps can I take to test self-employment before fully committing?
    • Could I start a side hustle or reduce hours in my current job to experiment with being my own boss?
  8. What values or priorities matter most to me?
    • Do I value financial security over flexibility, or is pursuing meaningful work more important than a predictable income?

Final thoughts

Self-employment is not a one-size-fits-all solution. For some working moms, it can intensify stress and burnout, but for others, it can be the key to greater flexibility and life satisfaction. By carefully weighing the pros and cons, using tools like this quiz, and following practical advice, you can determine if becoming your own boss by running your own business or going self-employed is a good idea for your unique circumstances and your mental health. 

If you enjoyed this article, you’ll love Dr Claire’s weekly email newsletter, The Phoenix. Sign up here.

The Stress Continuum Model: a first call to care

The stress continuum model is a powerful, evidence-based tool that helps you understand your stress levels at any given time. Stress is unavoidable, especially for working moms juggling careers, kids, and everything in between. But not all stress is bad! Originally developed by the US Marine Corps to address stress in combat settings, the stress continuum model is now used by individuals, families, and organizations to monitor and manage stress before it becomes overwhelming.  In this article you’ll discover what the stress continuum is, why it’s such a great tool for working moms, how to use it in your daily life, and what to do immediately depending on which stage you’re in. Read on to take the first steps to managing your stress before it starts to manage you!

About the author:

Dr Claire Ashley is a writer, mental health advocate, and mom of two who understands the daily challenges of juggling work, parenting, and self-care. With a background in creating relatable, evidence-based content, she’s passionate about providing working moms practical tools to manage stress and build more balanced, fulfilling lives. Her debut book, The Burnout Doctor, is being published on January 30th 2025. You can preorder at all good bookstores. Alternatively, click to order on Amazon (aff link).  

What is the stress continuum?

The stress continuum model categorizes stress into four zones:

Green Zone (ready): You’re calm, focused, and in control. Stress is manageable, and you’re thriving.

Yellow Zone (reacting): You’re experiencing stress reactions, like irritability, trouble sleeping, or mild anxiety. Stress is present but not debilitating.

Orange Zone (injured): You’re dealing with stress injuries, such as prolonged anxiety, mood swings, or physical exhaustion.

Red Zone (ill): Chronic stress has led to major depression, substance abuse, or other serious mental health issues requiring immediate intervention.

This model offers a common language to discuss psychological health and stress, helping you identify when your stress is creeping into dangerous territory.

Below is an infographic of the stress continuum. Feel free to pin it, or copy and paste into your notes app for easy reference! Image credit: https://cohcwcovidsupport.org

A colour coded infographic explains the stress continuum model. Starting with a green column (thriving), moving to yellow (surviving), orange (struggling) and red (in crisis).

Why the stress continuum is such a great tool for working moms

1. It helps you catch stress early.
The stress continuum provides clear markers to identify when stress is no longer manageable. For example, if you notice you’ve been snapping at your kids or struggling with delivery time at work, it’s a sign you’re moving from the green zone to the yellow zone.

2. It’s simple to use.
The model is visual and intuitive, making it easy to monitor your stress on a regular basis. You don’t need to be a therapist to understand where you stand.

3. It’s actionable.
Once you know your zone, you can take steps to get back to psychological health before things spiral.

Whilst it was originally developed to help service members, this tool isn’t just for combat settings—it’s a lifesaver for anyone facing chronic stress, including working moms. By using the stress continuum, you can spot unmanaged stress early and take steps to prevent burnout. It’s like having a personal radar for your mental health!

How to use the stress continuum in your daily life

1. Check in regularly.
Set a reminder to assess your stress levels daily or weekly. Ask yourself:

  • Am I calm and focused? (Green Zone)
  • Am I starting to feel overwhelmed? (Yellow Zone)
  • Am I constantly stressed or emotionally drained? (Orange Zone)
  • Am I completely burned out? (Red Zone)

2. Track patterns over time.
Use a journal or app to log your zones each day. If you notice frequent shifts into the orange zone, it’s time to address the underlying causes of your stress.

3. Discuss with family members/friends
The stress continuum model isn’t just for you—it can also help your partner, children and friends recognize their stress levels. Sharing this common language makes it easier to support each other during stressful situations.

Immediate actions for each zone on the stress continuum

Depending on where you fall on the stress continuum, here are practical ways to manage your stress effectively:

Green Zone: Keep thriving
  1. Stick to routines: Maintain habits like exercise, healthy eating, and quality sleep to stay balanced.
  2. Prioritize self-care: Take time for hobbies, mindfulness, or even a yoga class.
  3. Build strong relationships: Connect with friends and family to reinforce your support network.
Yellow Zone: Slow down
  1. Identify triggers: Pinpoint what’s pushing you into the yellow zone (e.g., too many household responsibilities or work deadlines).
  2. Practice relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, short walks, or meditation can lower stress.
  3. Set boundaries: Say “no” to extra tasks that aren’t a core function of your priorities.
Orange Zone: Take action
  1. Seek professional help: A therapist or counselor can help address stress injuries before they escalate.
  2. Reevaluate commitments: Reduce your load by delegating tasks or stepping back from nonessential activities.
  3. Tap into your community: Lean on your marine spouse friends, family members, or a support group for guidance.
Red Zone: Get immediate support
  1. Contact a professional: Reach out to a mental health professional for evaluation and treatment.
  2. Inform trusted people: Let your partner, family, or boss know you’re struggling so they can help.
  3. Avoid harmful coping mechanisms: Replace unhealthy habits like alcohol with healthier outlets, such as journaling or calling a friend.

Final thoughts on the stress continuum

As a working mom, your plate is always full, and stress is inevitable. The stress continuum model gives you a simple tool to monitor your stress levels, respond effectively, and stay in control. Whether you’re in the green zone or approaching the red zone, the key is to check in with yourself, take proactive steps, and seek professional help when needed.

By making this part of your routine, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the ups and downs of work, family, and everything in between.

If you enjoyed this article, you’ll love my weekly email newsletter, The Phoenix. Packed full of advice to help doctor you to manage stress, overcome burnout, and create an amazing career (but without the bro BS!). Click here to sign up now.

As always, I am happy to answer any comments you have about the stress continuum in the comments!

References

  1. US Marine Corps Operational Stress Control and Readiness (OSCAR) Program. Stress Continuum Model. Retrieved from https://www.marines.mil/portals/1/Publications/MCTP%203-30E%20Formerly%20MCRP%206-11C.pdf 
  2. American Psychological Association Stress Reactions and Mental Health. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/topics/stress

8 rewritten productivity tools for working moms in 2025

Being a working mom is like having a never-ending to-do list that breeds while you sleep. You’ve probably heard of all those classic productivity tools—SMART goals, time blocking, etc—and thought, “Yeah, that’s great, but does it come with a nanny?” The reality is, that most productivity advice is designed for people who aren’t constantly interrupted by small humans needing snacks, baths, or help to find their favorite sock.

Traditional productivity advice needs a serious mom-friendly makeover. In this article, I’ve explained how and why this is the case. Plus, I’ve taken 8 classic productivity tools and reworked them to fit the wonderfully chaotic reality of working motherhood. 

Traditional productivity tools often fail working moms because they’re designed with unrealistic expectations of uninterrupted focus and undivided attention, which don’t align with the fragmented reality of balancing a full–time job and family life. Tools like task lists, time management apps, and bullet journals prioritize rigid schedules and productivity at the expense of flexibility, ignoring the emotional labor and constant juggling between work and home responsibilities. Instead of helping, these tools can add pressure, creating frustration and guilt when moms can’t meet their unattainable demands.

More practical approaches, like rolling to-do lists, focusing on smaller “micro-wins,” and using tools that blend work and home tasks, offer greater flexibility and compassion. By prioritizing progress over perfection and tailoring strategies to the unpredictability of mom life, working moms can manage their ongoing struggles with less stress and more balance.

About the author: 

I’m Claire, and I’m a doctor and mom of two.  I’m a passionate advocate for working moms and a soon-to-be-published author specializing in stress management, burnout, and work-life balance. With personal experience as a mother navigating burnout, I combine empathy with evidence-based advice to support moms striving for healthier, happier lives. 

Ready to get more done with fewer meltdowns (yours and theirs)? Let’s get started!

Why traditional productivity tools don’t work for working moms—and what to try instead

Productivity tools—like task lists, time management apps, and bullet journals—are supposed to help us conquer our day. But for working moms, who are constantly balancing careers and family life, these tools often fall short. Many of these tools come with unrealistic expectations and seem more suited to a world where uninterrupted focus is a guarantee, a world with endless “focus time” where “just set a timer and prioritize your top three tasks” is actual advice.

Let’s unpack why these traditional productivity tools often don’t fit the work and home lives of *busy moms* and explore a few ways to make them more realistic.

Here’s why traditional productivity tools fall short:

Why traditional productivity tools don't work for working moms: They’re designed for ideal (and unrealistic) conditions They don’t account for the dual demands of home and work Unrealistic expectations and pressure to succeed Time management tools assume linear work time They’re not adapted to the emotional labor of parenthood
Why traditional productivity tools don’t work for working moms

1. They’re designed for ideal (and unrealistic) conditions

   – Most productivity tools assume you can dive into a “power hour” of work without anyone interrupting. But if you’re a working mom, you know the chaos of a typical day rarely allows for undivided attention. Trying to adhere to these rigid structures only leads to frustration when real life doesn’t cooperate. And when there’s never enough time, feeling productive becomes more of a fairy tale than a reality.

2. They don’t account for the dual demands of home and work life

   – Task lists or time management apps might work well for someone whose primary responsibility is work, but for moms, there’s a constant mental shift between “work tasks” and “home tasks.” Managing both sets of demands is like juggling two full-time jobs—it’s exhausting!  No task app handles, “Write a report, pick up extracurricular activities forms, and remember the grocery list.”

3. Unrealistic expectations and pressure to succeed

   – Busy moms already feel pressure to “do it all,” and productivity tools can unintentionally add to that by setting impossible standards. Apps and planners promise to help you reach your “big dreams” and financial goals, but often end up adding to the guilt of not doing enough. When you’re constantly measuring yourself against these tools, you’re left feeling like you’re falling short, which can be incredibly draining.

4. Time management tools assume linear work time

   – Traditional tools and planners assume consistent hours of work, but for working moms, a day is broken into bits and pieces. There’s focus time after the kids are asleep, a 10-minute window during lunch, or a brief, quiet moment before the next kid needs help. Moms need tools that allow for ebb and flow, not rigid, uninterrupted hours.

5. They’re not adapted to the emotional labor of parenthood

   – Managing a home involves a ton of detailed information that doesn’t fit neatly into a daily task list or planner. Remembering doctor’s appointments, planning healthy meals, tracking extracurricular activities, and keeping tabs on each family member’s preferences aren’t something most productivity tools help with. Instead, they create a disconnect by focusing only on work tasks or linear goals.

Practical tips for working moms: productivity tools that actually work

Instead of squeezing your life into traditional productivity tools, consider these creative approaches built around motherhood’s unique demands.

1. Flexible task lists for the real day ahead

   – Make a daily task list, but divide it into high-priority tasks and “nice-to-have” items. This way, you feel accomplished if you get through the essentials, and if life goes sideways (as it often does!), you’re not hard on yourself for not getting everything done.

2. Choose tools that blend work and life

   – Look for apps that allow you to combine both work and home tasks in one place, so you’re not juggling multiple lists. Time management apps like Trello or Asana can help you organize both, with one board for work projects and another for family stuff.  One of the best productivity apps I’ve tried is Notion.  I love Notion for helping organize all aspects of my life.  You can integrate multiple calendars for one.  You can also segment your to-do list into your home life and your work life on the same screen.  It’s pretty intuitive to use and the best part is that you only need their free plan.  It’s the right tool to help working moms boost productivity IMHO.  

Read more about my thoughts on Notion here.– I dive deep to compare the free and first tier of paid plans, and which version is best for working moms.

3. Focus on micro-wins rather than big wins

   – Instead of a marathon power hour, find 15-minute windows where you can knock off smaller tasks. This method lets you see progress without needing to carve out blocks of time that rarely exist in a mom’s schedule. These “micro-wins” help build momentum and give a sense of accomplishment even on the busiest days.

4. Make use of a good planner designed for moms

   – Traditional planners are great, but some planners are specifically designed to meet the needs of moms who balance family life with work. These planners often have sections for meal planning, family schedules, and important reminders that aren’t limited to the 9-to-5 world. Good planners make it easier to see the whole picture of what you’re managing.  Buy a blank bullet journal if you’re not able to find a planner for your own needs.  Or, just use the free planner templates on Notion!

5. Set up a “Rolling To-Do List”

   – Instead of feeling frustrated by everything left undone, consider creating a rolling to-do list that moves with you from day to day. This way, items that weren’t possible today can carry over to tomorrow without guilt. You’re not resetting daily, so you don’t feel the pressure of a fresh list every morning.

6. Use visual cues to help organize tasks

   – Consider visual reminders—sticky notes, color-coding, or even a family wall where everyone’s tasks and schedules are visible. Having a command center in a shared space can be a powerful tool for tracking the moving pieces of family and work life. Plus, when you can see everything laid out, it’s easier to adapt when things change.

Traditional productivity tools can end up creating unrealistic expectations and additional stress for working moms. They often don’t allow for the unpredictability of real life, the need to shift between work and home priorities, or the emotional labor that moms carry daily. Instead, focus on tools and methods that blend work and family tasks, allow for flexibility, and celebrate small wins. By letting go of the pressure to fit into rigid productivity structures, you’ll be able to create a system that truly works for *you*—a system that empowers, rather than overwhelms.

Now onto the fun part!  Here are 8 traditional productivity tools that I’ve performed a working mom makeover on:  

8 rewritten and supercharged productivity tools for working moms

8 traditional productivity tools rewritten to actually help working moms in 2025 OUT: SMART goals The Pomodoro technique Time blocking Eat That Frog The Ivy Lee Method Bullet journaling GTD (Getting Things Done) The 2 minute rule. IN: SMARTER goals The Momodoro technique Time chunking Pick your tadpoles The Ivy Low- Key Method Practical mom journaling GTD (Getting Through the Day) The 5 Minute Mom Rule
8 traditional productivity tools rewritten to actually help working moms in 2025

1. SMART Goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound)

Why it needs a rewrite:

While this method is great for setting clear goals, it often feels a bit too rigid for moms, who deal with constant interruptions and evolving priorities. Plus, the pressure to make things perfect can lead to feeling overwhelmed.

The working mom rewrite:
SMARTER Goals

  • Specific—but flexible enough to handle chaos.
  • Measurable—but don’t forget to celebrate the little wins too.
  • Achievable—given your actual time and energy, not some fantasy version of yourself.
  • Relevant—to your personal life and your work-life balance, not just career growth.
  • Time-bound—but leave room for family emergencies (or spontaneous dance parties).
  • Emotional check-in—does this goal feel right, or is it draining you?
  • Revised regularly—because life happens, and your goals can change too.

2. The Pomodoro Technique

Why it needs a rewrite:

The idea of working for 25 minutes straight, then taking a break, sounds great—until you get interrupted by a small human needing a snack 10 minutes in, or the school phone call of doom (they’ve got a fever, AGAIN) throws your whole day off.

The working mom rewrite:

The “Momodoro” Technique

  • Set a timer for 15 minutes instead of 25, because let’s be real—your time is usually cut short anyway.
  • Use this time to focus on one task, but embrace interruptions. If a kid barges in, hit “pause,” deal with the situation, and come back.
  • After the 15 minutes are up, take a 5-minute break… or more, depending on how much chaos is currently in your house.
  • If possible, do a few cycles in a row, but remember: even one “Momodoro” is a win on a busy day!

3. Time Blocking

Why it needs a rewrite:

This technique involves scheduling every minute of your day into specific blocks of time for each task. It sounds organized and efficient, but for moms, rigid schedules fall apart the moment someone gets sick or homework help takes longer than expected.

The working mom rewrite:

Time chunking

  • Rather than blocking off precise hours, chunk your day into broad, flexible periods (morning, afternoon, evening).
  • Within those chunks, have a few tasks you’d like to complete—but be kind to yourself if things don’t go as planned.
  • Use buffer zones (extra time for spillover) so that one event doesn’t cause a domino effect of missed tasks.
  • Accept that sometimes the “evening work block” will turn into “chill on the couch with Netflix” and that’s OK.

4. Eat That Frog

Why it needs a rewrite:

This tool suggests tackling the hardest or least enjoyable task first thing in the morning to get it out of the way. But for working mums, mornings are usually a circus of breakfast chaos and getting the kids out the door. Your energy might not even peak until later in the day!

The working mom rewrite:

Pick Your Tadpoles

  • Instead of focusing on the hardest task first, choose one or two “tadpoles”—small, doable tasks to create early momentum. This boosts your sense of accomplishment without draining your limited morning energy.
  • Save the actual “frog” (the tough task) for a time in the day when your kids are napping, at school, or occupied—basically, whenever you have a real chunk of time to tackle it.

5. The Ivy Lee Method

Why it needs a rewrite:

The Ivy Lee Method suggests writing down your six most important tasks the night before and tackling them in order. It’s great for simplicity, but it assumes you’ll have uninterrupted time, which moms rarely have. Plus, sometimes you wake up and realize half your list doesn’t make sense anymore.

The working mom rewrite:

The Ivy Low-Key Method

  • Write down your top three tasks for the next day (keeping it realistic).
  • Prioritize them, but build in flexibility. You can swap tasks based on energy levels, unexpected events, or simply the chaos of the day.
  • If you complete those three tasks, consider the day a win, no matter what else happens.
  • For bonus productivity, pick one “mum task” (like laundry) and one “work task” to create balance across both spheres.

6. Bullet Journaling

Why it needs a rewrite:

While bullet journaling is great for organizing thoughts and tracking goals, it can easily turn into an Instagram-worthy hobby that’s more about making the journal look pretty than about actual productivity.

The working mom rewrite:

Practical mom journaling

  • Ditch the fancy pens and elaborate layouts. Keep it simple with three key sections: “Must Do Today,” “Can Wait,” and “What’s for Dinner?”
  • Use your journal as a catch-all for work tasks, home tasks, and random thoughts you need to offload (like remembering to bring extra snacks for soccer practice).
  • Add a “gratitude” section to remind yourself of the little victories each day (e.g., “Everyone ate vegetables today!”- lol this will never happen, but you get the gist!).

7. GTD (Getting Things Done)

Why it needs a rewrite:

GTD is all about breaking tasks down into actionable steps, organizing them into contexts, and tracking everything. For a mum, who already has a million “contexts” (home, work, kids, life), this can get overwhelming fast.

The working mom rewrite:

GTD (Getting Through the Day)

  • Focus on one or two major projects at a time, and break them into small, bite-sized steps.
  • Forget about fancy contexts. Organize tasks into broad categories like “Work,” “Kids,” and “Life Admin” to keep things manageable.
  • Use tools like your phone’s notes app, a whiteboard, or a simple planner to track what’s most important without getting bogged down in excessive details.

8. The Two-Minute Rule

Why it needs a rewrite:

The original Two-Minute Rule (if something will take less than two minutes, do it now) sounds efficient but can easily lead to distraction when you’re constantly putting out fires as a mom.

The working mom rewrite:

The Five-Minute Mom Rule

  • If a task can be done in five minutes or less (not two!), and it’s important, do it.
  • But also, be selective. Don’t let the little, unimportant tasks hijack your focus when you’re in the middle of something bigger. For example, don’t start organizing the pantry just because you spotted a stray snack bag while doing laundry.

Being a working mom is hard enough without feeling like you’re failing at productivity.  You’re already doing so much—probably more than you give yourself credit for. These rewrites aren’t about being perfect; they’re about being practical. So, the next time someone suggests you “just hustle harder,” feel free to send them this article and then go take a well-deserved break.

Remember: progress, not perfection. And on those days when “getting things done” means keeping the kids alive and not losing your keys? Well, that’s productivity, too!

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How to overcome imposter syndrome and burnout

If you’ve ever found yourself staring at an email draft for an hour because your inner voice insists it’s not good enough, or if you constantly feel like you’re just one mistake away from being exposed as a fraud, you’re not alone. For working moms juggling career ambitions, emotional health, and family life, impostor syndrome is the uninvited guest who often crashes the party. Pair that with burnout, and it’s a cocktail of chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and a persistent cycle of self-doubt.

Let’s break this down: in this article, you will learn what impostor syndrome is, why it’s tied to burnout (especially for working moms), the five subtypes of impostor syndrome, and therapeutic exercises tailored to each. Spoiler: there’s hope—and humor—along the way.

About the author

As a doctor and burnout expert, I’ve helped countless high-achieving women navigate impostor syndrome and reclaim joy in their work lives. I know firsthand the toll long hours and constant fear can take.  Handing back my membership of the Imposter Syndrome Club formed a crucial part of my burnout recovery.  My mission?  To arm you with evidence-based tools so you can thrive—not just survive. 

What is impostor syndrome?

Impostor syndrome (or impostor phenomenon) describes the persistent self-doubt and feelings of fraudulence experienced by high-achieving individuals, even in the face of objective success. It’s the “I don’t deserve to be here” mantra, despite clear evidence that you do.

Signs of impostor syndrome include:

  • Negative self-talk, like “I only got lucky” or “They’ll figure out I don’t belong here.”
  • Fear of failure and constant fear of being exposed as a fraud.
  • An unhealthy fixation on high standards and perfectionist tendencies.

Impostor syndrome is not just about you—external factors like workplace culture, family background, and systemic biases can fuel it. The systematic review of impostor phenomenon research consistently highlights its high prevalence among minority groups, medical workers, and knowledge workers, making it a hot topic in professional life and beyond.

The link between impostor syndrome and burnout

Impostor syndrome and burnout are toxic besties—they feed off each other in destructive ways. When you’re stuck in the impostor mindset, you overcompensate with long hours, additional responsibilities, and an obsessive need to prove yourself. This hard work can lead to high levels of stress, emotional exhaustion, and ultimately, burnout.

But imposter syndrome isn’t just a toxic friend to burnout, it’s also known to be a risk factor for it.  Put simply, you’re more likely to burn out if you have Imposter Syndrome.

Burnout is more than just fatigue; it’s a state of chronic stress that can cause mental health symptoms like anxiety disorders, low self-esteem, and physical exhaustion. Here’s the kicker: because burnout can amplify feelings of inadequacy, it keeps the impostor cycle spinning.

Working moms are especially at risk. Why?

  • Competing priorities: Balancing professional life, personal life, and family responsibilities can create high levels of anxiety.
  • High standards: Many working moms hold themselves to perfectionist tendencies at home and work.
  • Workplace environments: Lack of social support or a toxic workplace culture exacerbates both impostor phenomenon and burnout.
  • Additional responsibilities: Being the “default parent” means even more mental load.
  • The “Supermom” myth: Society loves a good “doing it all” narrative, which sets impossibly high standards. The pressure to excel at work while being a Pinterest-perfect mom creates a never-ending cycle of guilt and inadequacy.
  • Gender bias: Research shows women are more likely to experience Imposter Syndrome than men, thanks to structural biases in the workplace. Working moms often feel scrutinized for choosing “career over kids” or vice versa.
  • Invisible labor: From scheduling doctor’s appointments to remembering to pack soccer snacks, moms often bear the brunt of the mental load, which makes burnout inevitable.

It’s no wonder so many working moms feel trapped in a cycle of self-doubt, long hours, and emotional exhaustion.

How impostor syndrome shows up for working moms

Impostor syndrome has a unique way of sneaking into the minds of working moms. It doesn’t just whisper, “You’re not good enough.” It adds, “…and you’re probably failing at everything.” Thanks for that, brain. Here’s how it typically manifests:

1. What you think because of imposter syndrome

  • “I’m not cut out for this.” Whether it’s managing a team at work or orchestrating a toddler’s meltdown-to-bedtime routine, impostor syndrome convinces moms that they’re winging it while everyone else has it all figured out. (Spoiler: No one has it all figured out.)
  • “I have to prove I deserve this job.” Despite years of hard work and glowing performance reviews, impostor syndrome can make working moms feel like they need to overcompensate to justify their spot at the table.
  • “I’m failing as a mom and an employee.” When you’re constantly pulled between personal life and professional life, it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough in either arena.

2. What you feel because of imposter syndrome

  • Persistent guilt: Moms with impostor syndrome often feel guilty for not being at home more—and guilty for not giving work their undivided attention. It’s a lose-lose scenario that fuels emotional exhaustion.
  • High levels of anxiety: Whether it’s double-checking emails at midnight or replaying a tense conversation with a family member, impostor syndrome keeps moms in a state of chronic stress.
  • Feelings of inadequacy: Even when juggling a packed schedule like a pro, working moms might feel like they’re barely keeping their heads above water. Cue the soundtrack of self-doubt: “You should be doing more.”

3. What you do differently because of imposter syndrome

  • Overwork to “prove” yourself: Working moms might log long hours or take on additional responsibilities they don’t have the bandwidth for, just to silence that nagging voice of inadequacy.
  • Downplay your successes: Impostor syndrome convinces moms that their wins are due to luck, a team member’s support, or timing—never their own talent and hard work. “Sure, the project went well, but I got lucky with the client.”
  • Avoid taking risks: Many working moms hesitate to go for a promotion, a leadership role, or even a new job because of the constant fear of failure. Better to stay in the comfort zone than risk exposing their “fraudulence,” right?
  • Micromanage and over-prepare: Impostor syndrome often shows up as perfectionist tendencies, like spending hours proofreading a report or obsessing over every detail of a school bake sale (even though no one actually cares about the frosting shade).

Why this cycle feels so relentless

The pressures working moms face—balancing work lives and family responsibilities, managing high levels of stress, and meeting high standards in every sphere—create the perfect storm for impostor syndrome to thrive. Add in workplace environments that might not fully support working parents and a societal tendency to glorify the “Supermom” archetype, and it’s easy to see how these feelings of fraudulence persist.

But here’s the truth: No one is nailing it 100% of the time. That mom who shows up to school drop-off with perfectly braided hair and an enviable job? She probably feels like a fraud sometimes, too. It’s not about being flawless—it’s about giving yourself grace where it matters most.

The Science Says…

A study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science found that 70% of people experience Imposter Syndrome at some point, with women and minorities disproportionately affected. Burnout, according to the World Health Organization, arises from chronic workplace stress, but when you add unpaid domestic labor to the mix, it becomes a double whammy for working moms.

The five types of impostor syndrome (and how to tackle them)

Psychologist Valerie Young identified five subtypes of impostor syndrome. Let’s dive into each, with a therapeutic exercise to combat the negative voice in your head.

1. The Perfectionist

  • Characteristics: Obsessive over details, afraid to delegate, and feels like nothing is ever “good enough.”
  • Your inner dialogue: “If it’s not 100% flawless, I’ve failed. No exceptions.”
  • Burnout Link: Perfectionists often work long hours trying to meet impossibly high standards, leading to emotional exhaustion.  You’re stuck in an endless loop of striving for unattainable standards. Rest? Not in your vocabulary.

Therapeutic Exercise:

The “Good Enough” list

  • Write down 3 things you completed that were “good enough” rather than perfect.
  • Reflect: Did the world end because your toddler’s birthday cupcakes weren’t from scratch? (Spoiler: It didn’t.)

Evidence basis: Per Dr. Kristin Neff’s research on self-kindness, practicing self-compassion reduces stress and promotes resilience.

2. The Superwoman/Superman

  • Characteristics: Feels like a fraud unless they’re juggling everything flawlessly. Struggles with work-life balance.
  • Your inner dialogue: “If I don’t juggle 15 balls in the air, I’m failing everyone.”
  • Burnout Link: This type often experiences chronic stress from taking on too much and rarely asking for help.  You measure your worth by how much you accomplish, leading to chronic overextension

Therapeutic Exercise:

Delegate and celebrate

  • List three tasks you’re currently doing that could be handed off (e.g., hiring a cleaning service or asking your partner to take over bedtime).
  • Set a mantra: “Letting go is an act of strength, not weakness.”
  • Write down 3 positive things that you have been able to do as a result of offloading these tasks. 

Evidence basis: Studies on stress management by Dr. Brené Brown show that embracing vulnerability—including asking for help—leads to greater emotional well-being.

3. The Natural Genius

  • Characteristics: Believes success should come easily; struggles when things require hard work or persistence.
  • Your inner dialogue: “If I need to work hard or ask for help, I must not be smart enough.”
  • Burnout Link: Unrealistic expectations of instant success create frustration and self-doubt.

Therapeutic Exercise:

Embrace the Learning Curve

  • Pick one new skill (yoga, knitting, coding—whatever interests you) and commit to 10 minutes a day of messy, imperfect practice.
  • Keep a journal of small wins, no matter how minor.

Evidence Basis: Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset shows that reframing challenges as opportunities for learning reduces feelings of inadequacy.

4. The Soloist

  • Characteristics: Believes asking for help is a sign of weakness. Prefers to go it alone to prove their worth.
  • Your inner dialogue: “If I can’t do it alone, I’m not competent.”
  • Burnout Link: IYou reject support, leaving you isolated and overwhelmed.

Therapeutic Exercise:

The Connection Challenge

  • Reach out to a friend, colleague, or family member once a week for advice or assistance, no matter how small the ask.
  • Journal how it felt to rely on others—and notice if they were happy to help.

Evidence Basis: Social connection is a key buffer against burnout, according to research from the American Psychological Association.

5. The Expert

  • Characteristics: Feels they must know everything before taking action. Avoids new roles or achievement-related tasks for fear of not being qualified.
  • Your inner dialogue: “I need to know everything before I can even try.”
  • Burnout Link: Constantly chasing “just one more qualification” leads to persistent self-doubt and anxiety disorders.

Therapeutic Exercise:

Action Before Expertise

  • Identify one goal you’ve been procrastinating on due to “not knowing enough.”
  • Take the smallest actionable step today (e.g., send an email).

Evidence Basis: Behavioral activation therapy, widely studied in cognitive-behavioral research, shows that small actions reduce paralysis and increase confidence.

Taking proactive steps

The best way to tackle impostor syndrome and burnout is by taking proactive steps to address the negative self-talk fueling both. A systematic review of workplace culture and high-achieving women suggests that building social support, addressing workplace environments, and prioritizing emotional health are key.

  • At work: Seek feedback from team members and mentors, and embrace positive feedback without deflecting it.
  • At home: Create boundaries to protect your work-life balance and carve out time for self-care.
  • For yourself: Focus on small wins daily, and remember—success doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your emotional health.

Final Thoughts

To every working mom who feels like they’re drowning in self-doubt and to-do lists, here’s the truth: You’re already enough. Imposter Syndrome might be loud, but it doesn’t have to run the show. By recognizing the patterns, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion, you can reclaim your energy—and your joy.

And when in doubt, remember: Even Beyoncé probably has days when she doubts herself. (Okay, maybe not, but you get the idea.)

As always, if you have any questions please feel free to leave a question in the comments. There is a section on imposter syndrome in my book, The Burnout Doctor, due to be published in January 2025! Pre order from all good book retailers now.

Sources:

  • Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice.
  • Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself. Self and Identity.
  • Young, V. (2011). The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women.
  • Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
  • World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an “Occupational Phenomenon.”

8 powerful ways to deal with a micromanaging boss

If you’re a working mom, the last thing you need on top of juggling family and career is a micro-managing boss—especially one who’s constantly looking over your shoulder, making you feel like you need to justify every move. Learning how to survive a micro-managing boss is essential, not just for your stress levels, but for your burnout risk too.

A difficult work environment can cause significant stress, and -worse- a lack of control/autonomy over how you work is one of the work factors that causes burnout.  

But fear not, you can survive a micro-managing boss while still maintaining your sanity and keeping your work-life balance intact.  By using these tips you will discover the first step to dealing effectively with your boss’s management style.  You’ll also be able to help your team members by showing them the best way to communicate and handle someone whose leadership style might be directly impacting everyone’s job satisfaction.  You don’t necessarily need a new job even if your current boss is giving you a hard time! 

With all this in mind, here’s a guide with practical strategies to help you navigate the minefield of micromanagement and come out feeling confident, respected, and in control.  Let’s start with some micromanaging examples, before moving on to some best practices and specific examples of how you can handle your micromanaging boss. 

Here are three common ways a micromanaging boss might overstep boundaries with a working mom, along with a bit of empathy and insight into why these behaviors can be so challenging:

1. Constant check-ins at inconvenient times

Picture this: It’s 5:30 p.m., and you’re rushing out the door to pick up the kids from daycare before the late fee kicks in.  Suddenly, your boss pings you with, “Quick update?” or “Any progress on that project yet?”  Micromanagers often operate on their timeline, forgetting that working moms have schedules full of non-negotiables.  These check-ins at inconvenient moments not only disrupt your flow but create the guilt-ridden pressure to always be available—even when you’re clearly off the clock.  This makes it incredibly hard to find any real work-life balance, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed.

2. Detailed requests for daily status updates

Another classic move: your boss insists on daily, play-by-play updates for every minor project.  They want to know your progress at every stage, even when you’re managing tasks perfectly well on your own.  For a working mom, this is particularly stressful—every minute spent reporting is a minute taken from productive work time.  It also interrupts focus, making it harder to complete tasks and get home on time. You may feel like you’re back in school, having to prove you’re doing your “homework,” which undermines trust and adds stress to an already packed day.

3. Expecting instant responses outside work hours

Many micromanaging bosses think that every message deserves an immediate response—no matter the time or situation. You’re at your kid’s soccer game or finally sitting down for family dinner, and your boss fires off a “quick question” email. Working moms are pros at balancing work and family, but it’s hard to truly unplug when you’re always anticipating that next “urgent” message. This constant expectation to be “on” erodes the boundaries you’ve set, leading to stress, frustration, and ultimately, burnout.

You might very well look at the above list, and think that this example of an overbearing boss has more of a red flag than a relationship status change after one date.  But, you have so much control over this situation, much more than you might think.  Let’s think about the right strategies to help correct this imbalance now! 

8 proven strategies to survive a micromanaging boss for working moms:

1. Understand their why (but don’t let it get to you)

Let’s start by addressing the elephant in the room: why does your boss micro-manage?  Often, micromanagers do this out of insecurity or a need for control. Or, perhaps they’ve been placed in a very stressful role without the right support or training to be able to do it well . They might well be burnt out themselves, or struggling with a lack of confidence in their own ability.  So, while micro-managing might feel personal, the lack of trust is not really about you—it’s about them.  Knowing that can help you depersonalize the situation.  

Actionable tips:

When your boss is hovering or nitpicking, remind yourself that their need for control is not a reflection of your competence. Take a deep breath and avoid letting it affect your confidence or your mood. You’ve got more important things to worry about (like whether your toddler will eat something other than chicken nuggets today!).  If you’re worried that your boss might not be supported themselves, is there someone you can safely raise this issue with today?  Your boss’s need might be more than what you can give them in terms of your work- sometimes you need to look at the bigger picture and see your boss as the whole person that they are! 

2. Anticipate their needs and stay one step ahead

One way to survive a micro-managing boss is to anticipate their questions before they ask. By proactively providing updates and progress reports, you can reduce the need for them to constantly check-in.  It’s one of the most effective ways to help them to help you.  Think of it as pre-emptive communication—give them what they want before they have the chance to ask.  This will avoid the need for constant check-ins and constant updates, and hopefully reduce the need for excessive supervision. 

Actionable tips:

  • At the start of each week, send a brief, bullet-pointed email outlining the status of your projects, the next steps, and any potential roadblocks. It’ll make them feel reassured, and you’ll get them out of your hair (hopefully).
  • Keep a “FAQ” document for your projects that answers common questions or addresses potential concerns. Send it whenever a new task kicks off so they’re equipped with all the info they need without bothering you every five minutes.

3. Set clear boundaries around your time

Micro-managers tend to want things now.  But, as a working mom, you can’t drop everything at the snap of your boss’s fingers—you’ve got pickup times, chores, and that elusive self-care to think about!  You have less flexibility and less time than others.  Therefore, setting firm boundaries around your time is essential, so that you can reduce your stress and produce the very best high-quality work. 

Actionable tips:

  • Communicate your working hours. Let them know when you’re available for meetings, calls, or last-minute requests, and, more importantly, when you’re not available. Use phrases like “I’ll be offline from 5 PM to 7 PM for family commitments but can pick this up first thing tomorrow.”
  • If your boss sends tasks after hours, avoid responding immediately (unless it’s urgent). Setting the precedent that you’re always available is a slippery slope. Instead, respond during your next work block to maintain your boundaries.

4. Politely push back on overload

Sometimes micromanagers pile on the work, thinking it’ll get done faster with constant supervision.  But when your plate is already full, especially with family responsibilities, it’s okay to push back—diplomatically, of course.  Setting clear expectations about what you can take on will go a long way to helping your boss to understand exactly what you are available for- and what you are not.  

Actionable tip:

  • Use the “priority clarification” technique. When your boss hands you yet another task, respond with, “I’m currently working on X, Y, and Z. Could you let me know which one you’d like me to prioritize?” This subtly shifts the burden of decision-making back onto them and signals that you can’t do everything at once. 
  • If they insist on micromanaging every detail of your tasks, offer them choices: “Would you like me to do this your way, or do you trust me to handle it based on my experience?” This tactic puts the control back in your hands while allowing them to feel involved.  

5. Leverage data and results to help with building trust

One way to survive a micro-managing boss is to show them hard evidence of your competence. When they see that you deliver results consistently, they’re more likely to back off. It’s all about making them feel like they don’t need to micromanage you because you’ve got things under control. In doing this, you will reduce their constant need for updates. 

Actionable tips:

  • At the end of a project or major task, provide a results-focused update. Emphasize how your work contributed to meeting goals, hitting deadlines, or improving processes. Use numbers if possible—it’s hard to argue with data.
  • When you’ve finished something, send a friendly follow-up email outlining the successful outcome. This not only reinforces your capabilities but gives your boss a paper trail of your achievements.

6. Be direct, but choose your battles

Sometimes, the only way to deal with a micromanager is to have a candid conversation.  If your boss’s behavior is truly interfering with your ability to do your job (and your sanity), it’s worth addressing it directly.  However, as a working mum, you’re also dealing with enough stress, so be strategic about when and how you do this.  It’s just like picking your battles with your kids- you might let small things slide, but running out into the road without looking requires a swift and robust response!

Actionable tips:

  • Pick the right moment. If you’re going to have a chat, wait until things are calm—maybe after a successful project or a particularly smooth week. Use “I” statements: “I feel like I can do my best work when I have a bit more autonomy on X project. Is there a way we can balance check-ins with independent work?”
  • If they don’t change, don’t fight every battle. Choose the tasks where micromanagement really hinders your performance and gently push back on those. For the rest, consider letting it slide to preserve your own mental peace.  Sometimes there’s no point sweating over the minor details. 

7. Manage your stress with your own support system

Having a micromanaging boss can be stressful, but you don’t have to carry the weight of it alone. Having a support system—whether it’s other working moms, friends, or a partner—can help you vent, brainstorm solutions, and stay grounded.  This is essential not just for staying on top of your work, but it’s also essential for good mental health.  In fact, a supportive community is a really protective factor that helps prevent burnout!  So, regular check-ins and open communication with your peers and entire team is a great thing to prioritise.  

Actionable tips:

  • Create a group chat or regular catch-up with other working moms where you can share struggles, advice, and maybe even a few laughs (because you know there’s some humor in all this).
  • Talk to your partner about creating a home routine that gives you a bit more breathing room if your workday has been tough. Maybe they can take over bath time or handle dinner while you decompress with a glass of wine and Netflix.

8. Practice micro self-care (because who has time for the full thing?)

A micro-managing boss can drain your energy, but you don’t have to let it consume you. You can’t always control their actions, but you can control how you recharge.  

Actionable tips:

  • Build micro moments of self-care into your day, like taking five minutes to step outside and breathe some fresh air between meetings, or indulging in a mid-afternoon tea or chocolate (because let’s face it, you earned it).
  • Practice mindfulness when dealing with your boss. Before responding to a particularly frustrating request, pause, take a breath, and approach the situation from a place of calm. The more zen you stay, the less the micromanaging will get under your skin.

You’ve now learned some great strategies to help manage your micro-managing boss! Let’s move on now to give you some specific phrases to use when your micro-managing boss hands you a new task or project:

Eight questions to ask a micro-managing boss when you’re given a new task or project

Micromanaging bosses often need reassurance that you’re on top of things, especially when it comes to new tasks and projects. The following eight questions are designed to give you the clarity you need to succeed, while subtly communicating to your boss that you’re handling things with confidence and strategy. By addressing their anxieties, you’ll help dial down the micromanaging tendencies—leaving you more room to get the job done without feeling overwhelmed (hopefully!). 

Here are the eight questions to use the next time your boss hands you a new task, or project (as adapted from Mark Murphy’s article in Forbes):

  1. “Is there anything you’d like me to know about how this will be used?”
    (This question reassures your boss that you see the big picture and understand how this task supports overall goals. It also shows you’re tuned into the strategic aspect of the work, which lets them relax a bit.)
  2. “What’s your deadline?”
    (Clear deadlines are your friend! It’s always good to confirm and ensures that expectations around timing are set from the beginning.)
  3. “What’s the best format for you?”
    (This question ensures your work is delivered exactly as they need it—saving everyone from any back-and-forth or last-minute changes.)
  4. “Who or what resources should I approach for this?”
    (Shows that you’re not only thinking about the task but also about the people or resources involved.)
  5. “Are there any previous examples or templates you’d like me to reference?”
    (If they’ve done similar projects in the past, referencing these can calm their nerves instantly, knowing you’ll build on work that already meets their standards.)
  6. “How long do you think this is going to take?”
    (There’s often a hidden expectation here—sometimes they’ll say the deadline is Friday but are quietly hoping it’ll be done by Wednesday. This question helps you uncover those hidden expectations and gives you the option to impress by meeting or even exceeding them.)
  7. “Where does this assignment fit with my other projects for you?”
    (This question lets you clarify priorities, giving you insight into the relative importance of the task and signaling to your boss that you understand its place among other assignments.)
  8. “What are the must-dos and absolute no-gos for this project?”
    (This reassures your boss that you’ll avoid any critical mistakes and cover all key areas—showing that you’re aware of what matters most and willing to deliver precisely on those points.)

These questions not only give your boss peace of mind but also let you manage the situation with calm confidence. By showing that you’re on top of both the details and the broader strategy, you’re more likely to earn their trust and reduce their need to micromanage, freeing up valuable headspace for you to balance everything else. Win-win!

How to survive a micro-managing boss- final thoughts:

Being able to survive a micro-managing boss as a working mom is no easy feat, but it’s not impossible. By setting boundaries, communicating clearly, and giving yourself grace, you can create a healthier work dynamic and maintain your peace of mind. Remember, you’re not just a mom, an employee, or a manager of your household—you’re a superhero in your own right. And, with these strategies, you’ll find a way to handle your boss and your busy life like a pro.

Further reading: This article from the Harvard Business Review has some great advice!

9 powerful financial planning tips for working moms

Financial planning for working moms can be difficult to navigate, and never more so than when you are thinking about a career change. Perhaps you’ve burnt out. Or, perhaps you need a career change to better fit your life as a parent. For many working moms, the arrival of your kids often prompts a reevaluation of priorities—including career goals. Whether it’s the desire for more flexibility, a less stressful role, or a complete shift into a new field, transitioning careers as a mom presents a unique set of financial challenges. Between the high cost of childcare, the motherhood penalty, and the need for more flexible working arrangements, it’s no wonder that financial planning for working mums feels like climbing a mountain in stilettos.

You probably don’t feel that you have much money at the moment, so thinking about your financial future and your financial security will come with several mixed emotions.  Financial stress and financial wellbeing have a huge impact on your burnout risk too.  

If you’re on a tight budget, but you want to change careers, then I’m here to help. Let’s start by breaking down the main financial hurdles working moms face when considering a career change. Then, you’ll learn 9 practical and powerful tips to help you prepare for that transition without losing your mind (or your savings).

The financial challenges that a working mom faces

  1. The high cost of childcare – according to data from the UK and the US, childcare is one of the biggest expenses for families. In the UK, full-time nursery care for a child under two can cost upwards of £14,000 per year (from this article in ​Nature). In the US, parents are paying an average of $10,000 to $15,000 annually per child for childcare (via ​SIEPR). That’s a mortgage payment in many cases—and these costs don’t magically disappear if you decide to change careers. Additionally, research shows that women typically pay for childcare costs themselves, even if they are in a relationship. 
  2. Needing flexible or part-time work– many moms want more flexibility in their schedules to accommodate family life, but part-time or flexible jobs often come with lower pay and fewer benefits. The motherhood penalty is real. Research shows that moms are paid 12-15% less than their child-free counterparts, and working fewer hours only exacerbates this gap.
  3. The Motherhood Penalty– it’s no secret that moms are often overlooked for promotions or high-profile projects, especially if you’ve taken time off for maternity leave. Research shows that women with children earn significantly less than men with children, and this gap persists even in progressive workplaces. The motherhood penalty doesn’t just affect your salary today; it can also reduce your future earning potential and retirement savings.

If these challenges make you want to scream into a pillow, then you’re not the only one. Financial planning for working moms is tough, and especially when you’re on a tight budget!  So, with these challenges in mind, here’s how you can start to prepare for successful career change- without the stress of money problems:

9 practical steps for financial planning for working moms preparing for a career change on a budget (with common objections, and how to overcome them!)

9 powerful financial planning tips for working moms on a budget:Create a household budgetBuild an emergency fundPlan for the cost of retraining/upskillingCut unnecessary expensesMaximise childcare support and benefitsStart side hustling Understand how your career change affects your long-term financial goalsTalk to a financial advisorAllow yourself some self careRead on to learn how to make your career change less stressful financially
9 powerful financial planning tips for working moms on a budget:

1. Create a household budget

Objection: “I’m already drowning in bills!  A budget isn’t going to magically give me more money!”
How to overcome:
I get it—looking at your personal finances can feel like staring into the abyss.  A budget isn’t about finding extra cash under the couch cushions (though I wish it were!). It’s about knowing where your money is going so you can make better decisions.  Think of it like Marie Kondo-ing your finances—declutter the unnecessary, and you’ll feel in control again. Start small, with just one week’s worth of expenses, and you’ll see where those invisible leaks are happening.  Take a look at your monthly income and your monthly expenses, and go from there. 

2. Build an emergency fund

Objection: “Emergency fund? I’m just trying to get through this week without dipping into my overdraft.”
How to overcome:
Listen, you need a safety net, but I know saving feels impossible when the grocery bill alone looks like it’s paying for a small army (those of you who have boys hear me right!), and the amount on your credit cards is increasing.  But, an emergency fund doesn’t have to start with $10k in the bank.  Even $20 a month adds up.  Automate the savings so you don’t even see it, and pretend that little bit of money is your ‘future-you treat fund.’ The peace of mind is priceless. You can achieve your long-term goals this way.  Go on- open a savings account today!  It really is the best way to give yourself peace of mind as you navigate career changes (or other curve balls/unexpected expenses that life occasionally throws at you).  Start by setting yourself the target of having a month of expenses in savings.  

*We currently use the Plum autosavers feature to save small amounts each month. This isn’t an ad or an affiliate link but a genuine recommendation. It helped us to easily save $600 for a very special big birthday event recently. We were able to use the money to have a night away, have a fabulous dinner, and see a West End show without worrying about the cost as it was already paid for. We didn’t even notice the money going from the account.

3. Plan for the cost of retraining or upskilling

Objection: “I can barely get through a day without a coffee, let alone think about taking a course!”
How to overcome:
No one’s saying you need to jump into a full-on degree program with a textbook in one hand and a baby bottle in the other. Start small. There are tons of affordable (even free!) online courses—check out platforms like Coursera or LinkedIn Learning. Or, perhaps you could even start with YouTube! It has a ton of free resources on it. You can learn any skill on YouTube. My husband learned to build via YouTube, and he ended up building our entire home extension without spending a penny on learning this new skill set. Start with something bite-sized, and it won’t feel overwhelming. Think of it as an investment in Future You, who will be so grateful for the added skills. You can get so much decent financial education online too. Whilst planning your career change, you might also like to read this previous article on career advice that working moms should never take to avoid any painful mistakes!

4. Cut unnecessary expenses

Objection: “Cut what?! I don’t even splurge on lattes anymore!”
How to overcome:
I feel you, but even the most frugal among us have hidden expenses. Have you looked at your subscriptions recently? (Cough that gym membership you haven’t used since 2021 cough).  Revisit every small automatic payment and ask yourself if you need it. It’s not about depriving yourself; it’s about spending on things that bring you joy and utility.  This is a really helpful tip if you work full time but your financial health isn’t in the best of states- it’s an easy win to help you feel more in control of your outgoings.  

5. Maximize childcare support or benefits

Objection: “I’ve looked into it—there’s no help for me!”
How to Overcome:
I hear you, but government programs are a maze, and it’s easy to miss things. Revisit your options—sometimes new subsidies pop up, or maybe you’ve missed out on tax-free childcare. Try speaking to a financial advisor or using a benefits calculator (in the UK, sites like Turn2Us can help). It doesn’t hurt to dig around a little more. You’d be surprised at what you might be eligible for.  This is a great first step if you’re not sure where to get started on your journey to financial independence.  By getting some additional support this will allow you some flexibility to look at your life goals and to shoot for a job that will eventually give you a much higher income. 

6. Start side hustling

Objection: “How am I supposed to start a side hustle when I barely have time to shower?”
How to overcome:
Side hustling doesn’t have to mean working 40 more hours a week- working moms already don’t have much time on their hands.  Think of it as a great way to build an additional  “slow and steady” income.  It can be something you’re already good at—selling preloved baby clothes online, freelance writing during nap time, or tutoring on weekends. It’s about finding something flexible that fits into your current life, not adding a ton more stress. Having a side hustle will generate additional income that will help ease any career break, or change. 

7. Understand how your career change affects your long-term financial goals

Objection: “Retirement?! I’m more worried about making it to the end of the month!”

How to overcome:
When you’re focused on changing careers, the last thing on your mind is your retirement plan. But here’s the thing: even if retirement feels like a distant worry, making sure you don’t lose track of long-term savings now will save you headaches later. If you’re switching to part-time work or going freelance, it’s important to know how your pension or retirement savings will be affected. Check with your current employer about what happens to your pension contributions if you leave or reduce hours, and consider setting up a personal pension plan if your new career won’t come with employer contributions.

Think of it this way: you’re not planning for a luxury yacht in retirement (though, hey, why not dream big?), but for peace of mind down the line. Even small, consistent contributions now mean you won’t have to scramble later. You’ve got enough to juggle already—so let Future You benefit from a little planning today!  Setting clear goals will help you to prepare for your golden years. 

8. Talk to a financial advisor

Objection: “A financial advisor? That sounds expensive and way too fancy for me.”
How to overcome:
Financial advisors/a certified financial planner aren’t just for billionaires. There are affordable options, and some workplaces even offer free consultations.  Many advisors work on an hourly rate or offer free first-time sessions, and they can save you more money in the long run than they cost upfront.  Plus, they’ll help you see the bigger picture without the stress of doing it all yourself.  In the UK, financial advisors are regulated, so you can rest easy knowing this.  They can help you will some of the more intimidating financial things that you’ve been putting off- like getting life insurance, maximising your interest rates, and thinking about retirement accounts.  They’re great to help you feel that you have a really solid financial plan. 

9. Allow yourself a little self-care (it doesn’t have to cost anything!)

Objection: “Yeah, but I have no time or money for self-care. I can barely fit in a nap!”
How to overcome:
Self-care doesn’t have to be a spa day (we can dream though, right?), or something where you need to spend a lot of money- money that could be used instead to prepare for a career change. Self-care can be as simple as sitting in the car for 10 extra minutes before the school run to breathe or read a chapter of a book. It might be arranging to meet a friend for a walk at the weekend. Being kind to yourself is about small, manageable moments. Taking care of your mental well-being as you prepare for a career change in a way that is financially sustainable will help ease the stress of this period. 

Final thoughts on financial planning for working moms considering a career change

Changing careers after having kids is a big deal, both emotionally and financially. With some thoughtful financial planning, working moms can navigate the transition smoothly. By creating a solid budget, building an emergency fund, and cutting unnecessary expenses, you can prepare yourself for the next chapter of your professional life without sacrificing your financial stability. The journey may be challenging, but the result—a fulfilling career that works for you and your family—is well worth the effort.

Remember, financial planning for working moms is all about creating flexibility and security, so take the time to plan and give yourself the best chance to succeed.

Further reading: 

I highly recommend a read of Money Mentor by Anna Brading (aff link). She walks you through the 10 Steps to mastering your money as you learn how to piece together your own financial plan, step by step, and track your progress as you go. (Spoiler alert: it’s not that hard – we were just never taught this stuff in school!).  Upgrade your financial knowledge now-  this is essential reading for any mom looking to prepare their finances for a career change! 

Disclaimer:

This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended as financial advice. For personal financial planning, please consult a certified financial advisor.

Navigating fertility problems at work: why it’s so stressful, and how to manage it

Struggling with fertility issues is emotionally exhausting enough without the added stress of navigating it in the workplace. Women, men, non-binary folks and LGBTQIA+ couples who are dealing with fertility problems often face unique challenges at work. Many of these challenges make your journey even more difficult. In addition, not only do these challenges increase stress, but they also make burnout more likely.

If you think you might be burning out, then this quiz will help you to this out- and tell you your essential next steps.

Let’s break down the key issues that those with fertility problems face in the workplace and, crucially, how you can tackle each one in a way that’s practical for work, and compassionate for you.

10 Challenges for folks with Fertility Problems at work (and Why They Increase Stress)

  1. Lack of flexibility for medical appointments
    Fertility treatments often require frequent, time-sensitive medical appointments. Without workplace flexibility, you may struggle to fit these appointments into your schedule. This then leads to stress and worry about job security (see case study on ​Action for Children).
  2. Unsupportive work cultures
    Many workplaces don’t have policies in place to support employees dealing with fertility issues. This can lead to you feeling isolated or guilty for needing time off​.
  3. Fear of discrimination
    You may fear that disclosing fertility struggles could result in discrimination or missed career opportunities. This then leads to additional stress and pressure to keep your issues hidden​.
  4. Mental and emotional strain
    Fertility problems can be emotionally draining, affecting concentration, productivity, and overall mental well-being at work. Many people feel pressured to perform at their usual level, despite the emotional toll. You bring your whole self to work- it’s impossible to leave your fertility struggles at the work front door.
  5. High cost of fertility treatments
    For those paying out of pocket, fertility treatments can be financially crippling, adding a significant burden on top of the stresses of work. This financial strain increases burnout risk as you juggle both expenses and workplace demands.
  6. Lack of access to benefits
    While some companies offer fertility treatment coverage, it’s not the norm. Employees without such benefits feel unsupported, especially when their workplace provides no guidance or assistance with accessing fertility resources. (FYI- The F Word At Work podcast has some great advice for busy HR, DE&I and wellbeing leads to support their employees with fertility issues).
  7. Stigma around fertility struggles
    Talking openly about fertility issues is still taboo in many workplaces, leaving you to suffer in silence. The stigma can stop you from seeking support or requesting necessary accommodations.
  8. The pressure of time
    Fertility treatments are often a race against time. The pressure to balance work responsibilities with this ticking clock can be overwhelming. This stress amplifies when treatments are unsuccessful, as they often are- IVF success rates range from 32% for women under the age of 35, to 4% for women aged over 44.
  9. Colleagues’ unawareness and insensitive comments
    Fertility struggles are invisible, and colleagues may unknowingly make insensitive comments about parenthood, adding to emotional strain. “When are you going to have a baby?” can feel like salt in the wound when you’re going through fertility investigation and treatment.
  10. Fear of job insecurity
    You are likely to worry that taking time off for fertility treatments will be seen as a lack of commitment to their job, especially if your workplace lacks clear policies around this issue. This fear can lead to burnout as you push yourself to keep up.

How These Issues Lead to Burnout

Fertility problems are a deeply personal and emotional challenge. When layered with the additional pressures of work, they create a perfect storm for burnout. The constant balancing act between attending medical appointments, managing the emotional rollercoaster of treatments, and performing at work can leave you feeling depleted and overwhelmed.

Burnout is the result of chronic stress. When work becomes another arena where fertility struggles must be managed in silence, the emotional toll can become too much to bear. Without support, you might find yourself battling feelings of shame, fear, and inadequacy—leading to both mental and physical exhaustion.

Let’s move on to think about practical solutions to help!

10 Practical Solutions to Help Navigate Fertility Issues at Work

Fertility problems? Here's how to manage your stress and avoid burnout at work as you navigate your fertility journey
Fertility problems? Here’s how to manage your stress and avoid burnout at work as you navigate your fertility journey
  1. Flexible work arrangements
    If possible, request a flexible work schedule that allows time for medical appointments without penalizing your productivity. This could include flex-time, remote work, or making up hours later in the week.
  2. Confidential conversations with HR
    Consider having a confidential conversation with HR to explore what options and accommodations are available to you. Many companies have policies around medical leave that you may not be aware of.
  3. Utilize Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)
    Some workplaces offer Employee Assistance Programs that provide confidential counseling, including mental health support for fertility-related stress. Take advantage of these resources if they’re available.
  4. Request a reduced workload
    If your job allows, consider asking for a reduced workload or temporary job-share arrangement during periods of intensive treatment. This can help manage your stress while maintaining your professional responsibilities. Your occupational health department (if you have one) will be able to help with this.
  5. Access to fertility benefits
    Check with your HR department to see if your company offers fertility treatment coverage or wellness benefits. If not, inquire about external resources or advocacy groups that might provide assistance.
  6. Join a support network
    Whether online or in person, joining a fertility support group can be a game-changer. Knowing you’re not alone and sharing your experiences with others in the same boat can make a huge difference. But, use these resources with care. If you find the distress of others too much, or if seeing others celebrate their pregnancies cuts too deeply, be prepared to step away.
  7. Create boundaries around work stress
    Fertility struggles are all-consuming, and burnout happens faster when you’re pushing yourself to be perfect at work. Set boundaries by letting go of tasks that are non-essential or requesting extensions on deadlines.
  8. Educate your boss without oversharing
    You don’t need to disclose all the details, but it’s okay to let your manager know that you’re dealing with a medical issue that requires flexibility. A simple heads-up can pave the way for a more understanding and supportive work environment. See below for a suggested email template that you can copy and paste to send to your boss.
  9. Prioritise rest and recovery
    Fertility treatments can be emotionally and physically exhausting, so it’s important to factor in rest and recovery where possible . Instead of pushing through non-stop, try scheduling moments of downtime during your work day. Whether that’s taking a short walk, doing a quick mindfulness exercise, or allowing yourself a proper lunch break. These small moments of rest can help prevent burnout and maintain your emotional well-being, without needing to take extended time off.
  10. Focus on self-care outside of work
    Your journey doesn’t stop when you leave the office. Prioritize self-care practices that help reduce stress, like meditation, therapy, or simply taking time to rest and relax.

Email Outline for Requesting Time Off for Fertility Appointments

Here’s an outline of how you can draft an email to your boss when requesting time off for medical appointments related to fertility treatments. Feel free to copy and paste with your edits as you see fit:

Subject: Request for Flexible Time Off for Medical Appointments

Dear [Boss’s Name],

I hope this email finds you well. I’m writing to let you know that I’m currently undergoing medical treatment that requires several upcoming appointments, and I will need some flexibility in my schedule to attend these. The times and dates required for these appointments are:

[list dates, if known]

I am fully committed to meeting my work responsibilities and will ensure that any missed time is made up accordingly. If needed, I’d be happy to discuss how we can best manage this during the treatment period.

Thank you for your understanding and support. Please let me know if you’d like to discuss this further.

Kind regards,
[Your Name]

Final Thoughts on successfully navigating fertility problems at work

Navigating fertility struggles is hard enough without the additional weight of workplace stress. But, by creating a plan that includes practical solutions and healthy boundaries, you can reduce the chances of burnout and take better care of yourself. Everyone’s journey is different, but you don’t have to walk it alone. Seek support, set boundaries, and remember that your well-being matters just as much as your work performance.

6 powerful ways to help working moms overcome burnout

Hey there, mama! Today’s post focuses on the factors that cause burnout at work. You’ll learn exactly how and why you’re disproportionately at risk as a mom, and then you’ll learn 6 powerful ways to help working moms overcome burnout.

Burnout isn’t just about feeling tired, it’s complete physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. And let’s be honest: as a working mom, burnout hits differently.

The size and scale of the problem for working moms to overcome burnout

It’s no secret that working moms are at a higher risk of burnout, and the stats back it up. First, 86% of working moms report feeling exhausted by balancing work and family responsibilities (according to a study by Motherly in 2021). If that wasn’t enough, research from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research found that working mothers are 28% more likely to experience burnout compared to fathers. And get this—according to a report by McKinsey & LeanIn.org, one in three working moms is considering downshifting her career or leaving the workforce altogether due to burnout (click here to read more). When you’re carrying the mental load of both work and home, it’s no wonder the burnout rate is through the roof!

In two previous posts, you learned about the six work factors that can cause burnout. If you haven’t already familiarised yourself with these six work factors, please click here to read part one, and here to read part two. Now, for those of you balancing work and family life, these factors often go into overdrive. Working moms are more at risk of burnout than working dads and women without children. So, let’s start by understanding how these six factors hit working moms harder than most. Then you’ll get some practical, mom-tested advice on how to tackle each one head-on! Read on to find out how working moms can overcome burnout!

The Six Work Factors That Cause stress at work (And Why They’re Harder for Working moms)

the 6 factors that cause burnout in working moms: lack of control at home and work, lack of reward, values mismatch, lack of community, not being treated fairly, heavy workload
The 6 factors that cause burnout in working moms
  1. Control
    Ah, control—remember that?! When was the last time you felt in control of anything? For working mums, control over your workday is often laughable. Between a 9 a.m. meeting, a sick kid at home, and the last-minute school project, “control” becomes a myth. In burnout, lack of control at work is a risk factor for burnout. But, for moms you’re much more likely to find it hard to find control at work- and at home.
  2. Reward
    Being adequately rewarded for the work you do is protective against burnout. It doesn’t necessarily have to be financial reward here- opportunities for positive feedback, professional development, and doing rewarding work also help protect against burnout. The trouble is that moms work hard both at home and at the office. Whilst the labour at home is rewarding, it’s also unpaid. Your hard work is often unappreciated by your loved ones (or at least, they might not vocalise their gratitude!). When’s the last time someone handed you a trophy for surviving the day? Or a pay raise for juggling ten things at once? For working moms, the feeling of being under-rewarded is magnified because you’re constantly giving without much in return.
  3. Values mismatch
    Having a kid, like any major life event, changes what’s important to you. You want to be a present parent, but your boss wants you to be available 24/7. That clash in values—between being a good parent and a good employee—leaves working moms feeling like they’re always failing somewhere. This values mismatch puts working moms at disproportionate burnout risk.
  4. Community
    A supportive community means everything when it comes to effective burnout prevention. But- whether it’s your workplace community or your ‘village’ at home, feeling isolated is really common among working moms. You might be surrounded by people, but who really understands your daily challenges? If you don’t have a village, then you’ll be at risk of burnout.
  5. Fairness
    If you’re not treated fairly at work by your employer, then the stress it causes can factor into the development of burnout. But the workplace isn’t just the only place where moms feel unfairly treated. Ever notice how you’re doing the same work as everyone else but with added mental load? “Fair” can feel like a foreign concept when you’re balancing unpaid household labor on top of your job. (click here to read more about how women take on more of the domestic load, and how it can cause burnout).
  6. Workload
    Oh boy, where do we even start? Your workload is like an all-you-can-eat buffet that just never ends, with side orders of school pick-ups, laundry, and dinner-making. Not only does a heavy workload in your job risk burnout, for working moms, the workload both at home and at work can feel an impossible juggle.

Tackling These Factors: Practical, Real-World Solutions for Working moms to overcome burnout

1. Control: how to regain it (yes, really!)

As a working mom, you can’t control everything, but you can focus on the little things. Control doesn’t have to mean re-organizing your entire life—it can be as simple as setting small boundaries. Here’s the cool thing about control in burnout prevention: simply believing you have control over your work and life is enough to prevent burnout (this is because those that believe this then go on to make changes that reduce burnout!).

Three things you can do:

  • Time blocking: Allocate specific time slots for work, family, and you. And yes, that you time is mandatory.
  • Delegate at work and home: Get comfortable with asking for help, whether it’s a team member at work or your partner at home. This is tough but essential to get a handle on your stress levels.
  • Say no more often: Boundaries are your best friend. Practice saying no to those extra requests that push you to the limit. It’s a form of self-care!

2. Reward: finding it where you can

If you’re not getting rewards from your boss (hello, pay gap), it’s time to create your own sense of accomplishment.

Three things you can do:

  • Celebrate your wins: Small victories deserve recognition. Did you manage to cook dinner AND make that deadline? Treat yourself to your favorite snack or a 30-minute Netflix binge.
  • Find meaning in your work:  If possible, focus on the tasks that make you feel good. Even if it’s just 20% of your day, doing something that energizes you makes a big difference.
  • Create mini-rewards:  Set small goals and reward yourself. Finished the laundry pile? Take a bubble bath. Got through your inbox? Have a dance party with your kids.

3. Values mismatch: making it work

When your personal values don’t align with your workplace, it can feel like an uphill battle. But instead of switching jobs, try creating alignment where you can. If you’re not sure what your values are, start with this list here.

Three things you can do:

  • Find overlap: Identify the common ground between your values and your job. If you value flexibility, negotiate for it—maybe not today, but it’s worth a try!
  • Be vocal: Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs and values to your employer. Sometimes, it takes a conversation to shift expectations.
  • Own your personal mission: Whether at work or home, make your values clear to yourself and others. Even if it’s just saying, “I prioritize family dinners,” own it unapologetically. Remember, you don’t need to explain your priorities to anyone else.

4. Community: building your village

You need your people—both at work and at home. Building a community that understands the struggle can take some work, but please do prioritise this. It will make such a difference to how you feel about your work and life.

Three things you can do:

  • Join a values- aligned mom group: Whether online or in-person, find a group of moms who get it. Sharing struggles and wins can make a world of difference. Just make sure that the group you’re going to join shares your values. If you’re ruthlessly practical then you won’t find the support you need in a crunchy mama group!
  • Leverage work relationships:  If possible, form a support system at work with colleagues who also juggle similar responsibilities.
  • Outsource help: It’s okay to get help where you can, whether it’s a cleaner, babysitter, or meal delivery service. You can’t do it all, and that’s okay.

5. Fairness: level the playing field

Let’s face it, working moms often take on more than their fair share. Tackling fairness starts with acknowledging the imbalance and taking steps to fix it. Just FYI, the advice below is optional. Tackling an unfair work culture is tough when you’re already stressed and feeling vulnerable. You don’t have to take on more if you don’t want to.

Three things you can do:

  • Speak up: Advocate for fairness at work and at home. If you’re doing more than your share, it’s time to have that tough conversation—whether with your boss or your family.
  • Track your time:  Keep a log of how much time you spend on work vs. household tasks. This can help you (and others) see where the imbalance lies.
  • Outsource when possible: Yes, we’re back to outsourcing. Whether it’s hiring someone to help with household chores or delegating more at work, reducing your load can help create fairness.

6. Workload: simplifying the chaos

When you’re juggling ten balls at once, it’s no wonder burnout hits hard. Reducing your workload might sound impossible, but there are ways to make it more manageable.

Three things you can do:

  • Prioritize ruthlessly:  What’s urgent, and what can wait? Learn to be okay with letting the non-essential tasks slide. Read this post on how you can use my reworked Mom version of the Eisenhower Matrix!
  • Batch tasks:  Group similar tasks together to make them more efficient. This works for both work and home—think meal prepping or knocking out emails in one go.
  • Take breaks:  I know, breaks feel like a luxury, but they’re crucial. Set a timer for 5-minute breathers during your workday and resist the urge to fill that time with something “productive.” Make a lovely coffee and savor it. Or, perhaps you could take a moment to get some fresh air? It all adds up.

Final Thoughts for working moms to overcome burnout

Working moms face burnout on a whole different level! But, with some self-awareness and practical steps, you can start taking control (yes, even if it’s just a little) and feel more in charge of your life again. Remember, you’re already doing an amazing job. So here’s to keeping it real, staying strong, and giving yourself a little more grace every day! You’ve absolutely got this.

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Who burns out? Find out the 9 things that are putting you at risk NOW

Who burns out? This is a great question to ask. You can take a group of people, put them all under the same stress at work, and some will burn out and some won’t.

Now, burnout occurs because of prolonged and unsuccessfully managed stress at work. It is, by definition, a workplace problem. Both the cause and the solution to burnout are making changes at work. If you aren’t already familiar with the 6 workplace factors that directly cause burnout, then you can read more about them here.

But, similar to other health problems, there will be some people that are more at risk of developing burnout compared to others. Knowing if you are at increased risk is powerful, because it means you can be proactive about protecting yourself. What it doesn’t mean, however, is that you are to blame if you do end up burning out, because burnout occurs because of unmanageable stress. Even the most resilient people have breaking points.

Who burns out? Why burnout is like a physical health problem

To help you to understand how you might be at an increased chance of burning out, let’s compare burnout to a physical health problem. For this example, lung cancer is a useful problem to compare to. You will already be familiar with the disease, and how it is caused. As most people already know, the cause of lung cancer in the overwhelming majority of cases is smoking.

However, not everyone that smokes will develop lung cancer. Some people will be protected from it due to other factors, such as their genetics, or their environment.

The same is true in burnout. Work factors leading to burnout is similar to how smoking leads to lung cancer. Not everyone that experiences stress at work will burn out, because some people are more protected from it than others.

Let’s go on to talk now about the 9 things that mean you are more likely to burn out when you are stressed at work.

Remember that these are risk factors and not direct causes of burnout! The direct cause is work stress, and so working on your risk factors alone in the context of huge stress at work will not be sufficient to protect you. True burnout prevention requires a multi-factorial approach that tackles the root cause and does not blame the individual that then ends up burning out. 

Who burns out? The 9 things that put you at risk outside of work stress- and why

There are 9 things that mean you are more likely to burn out. It’s important to know what they are, so that you can be empowered to manage your work stress better!

The 9 things that are putting you at risk of burnout (that aren't work stress): Imposter Syndrome, perfectionism, people pleasing, your childhood, trauma, other mental health problems, coping skills and neurodiversity
The 9 things that put you at risk of burnout

1. Imposter syndrome 

Imposter Syndrome is the feeling of being a fraud, and that you don’t deserve your achievements despite being a very high achiever. It increases the risk of burnout by causing the following: overwork, procrastination, avoidance of work, perfectionism and comparison.

2. Perfectionism 

Perfectionism fuels burnout by making you take on too much work, and by worsening emotional exhaustion.

3. People pleasing 

People pleasing puts you at risk from burnout by causing low self esteem and self worth, which then leads to poor professional boundaries. Ultimately, the people pleaser inadvertently takes on too much at work in an attempt to help everyone around them.

4. Personality type

Being an introvert in an extroverted role without enough time to recharge your social batteries causes burnout by causing emotional exhaustion. Type A personalities are also at risk, as they tend to manage stress by avoiding it (see below on coping skills!).

5. Your childhood 

Mixed messages about achievement in childhood means you are more likely to burn out as an adult. Any trauma experienced in childhood also increases burnout risk. This is because brain changes in burnout are very similar to the changes after trauma.

6. Trauma in adulthood 

Traumatic events as an adult cause changes to the brain that are very similar to the burnt out brain.

7. Pre-existing mental health problems 

Burnout isn’t always linked with mental health problems, However, if you already have a mental health problem such as depression or anxiety, then you will be at increased risk of burnout. The reasons for this are multiple.

8. Coping skills 

Most people that end up in full-blown burnout will have used coping strategies to soothe how they feel about the stress, and to manage their own emotions. People that are protected against burnout tend to cope with stress by tackling the root cause (i.e. the stressor itself). This is important, because tackling the root cause means you are making changes to the stressor itself, and therefore reducing its impact.

9. Neurodiversity 

Those with ADHD and ASD in particular experience rapid burnout cycles. These cycles are driven by the effects, and the stress of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world.

So, now you know who burns out when things get stressful at work.

Who burns out? Now you’ve identified the things that might predispose you to burnout, what can you do about it?

If you have realised that you have one of more of the things that put you into an at-risk group for burnout, then happily there are things that you can to protect yourself.

The first is to tackle your work stress.

The second is to put things in place to help reduce the effects of the risk factors on your ability to cope with stress. This might look like having coaching or therapy to reduce the impact of imposter syndrome on how you cope with work stress. It could mean having support measures put in place to help you if you have ADHD- things like being able to wear noise cancelling ear phones in noisy office environments. Or, it might mean seeing your doctor for help with depression, anxiety or PTSD.

I go into these risk factors in much more detail in my upcoming book The Burnout Doctor! Released on Jan 30th 2025, it is available to pre-order from Amazon UK here.

Improve confidence returning to work after maternity leave

Here is how working moms can improve their confidence when going back to work after maternity leave.

After having a baby, so many things come together to reduce confidence in the workplace. 

Your colleagues think you have been off work leisurely meeting your mom friends for coffee, having lazy lunches, snapping pictures of your aesthetically pleasing child (who never cries), and then enjoying a relaxing evening with your partner.  Yes, having a baby is wonderful, but on the flip side, new mothers know that the truth is sleepless nights, depleted energy levels, and a ton of mom guilt.  Then you need to navigate how to step your new role as a working parent when you return to work- and this is very challenging even for those with a great support network.   

How maternity leave reduces your confidence before you return to work:

How having a baby reduces your confidence at work: reduced confidence worrying about work, reduced confidence in how you feel in yourself, reduced confidence because of fatigue and physical changes
How having a baby reduces your confidence at work

Reduced confidence worrying about work

Career anxiety – “What if I’ve fallen so far behind that I’ll never catch up? I can’t shake the fear that I’m no longer good enough. What if my colleagues have outgrown me while I’ve been away? Worse, what if they don’t think I’m committed anymore?”.  Taking a career break with mat leave compounds loss of confidence.

Judgment from others – “There’s this constant fear that I’m being judged — by my colleagues, boss, and even other mums. If I leave work early to pick up my baby, people will think I’m not serious about my career. If I stay late, I feel like I’m failing as a mother. No matter what I do, it feels like I’m doing it wrong. The weight of their silent judgment is crushing me. I just want to be enough, but I’m terrified I’ll never be.”.  New parents really struggle with a lack of confidence when having an honest conversation with team members.  

Breastfeeding and returning to work– “I’m still breastfeeding, and going back to work feels overwhelming. How will I keep up with pumping, the schedule, and the worry about milk supply? I feel torn between doing what’s best for my baby and meeting the demands of work.”. Breastfeeding is hard work even when you’re still on leave.  Returning to work means a new routine, and keeping breastfeeding going is one of the biggest challenges in a successful return to work. 

Financial stress – “We need my income to survive, but I’m terrified I won’t be able to handle it all. The cost of childcare is crippling, and I can’t help but think, is this even worth it?”.  The majority of new moms will be in a similar situation. 

Reduced confidence in how you feel about yourself

Identity crisis – “”I don’t even know who I am anymore. I used to be confident in my work, but now I feel like I’m a stranger in my own life. I’m a mum, but I’m also supposed to be this career woman. How can I be both when I don’t even recognize myself?”  Your new identity as a mom with a new baby is tough to navigate even outside of the pressures of work. 

Relationship strain– “How can we keep this together when we’re both so exhausted and stretched thin?”  This is also a concern when your partner returns to work after their parental leave. 

Guilt and self-doubt – “I feel like a failure as a mum for leaving my baby. But I also feel I’m not being able to give 100% at work. What if I’m making the wrong choice? What if I’m letting everyone down, including myself?”.  Mom guilt is so real! 

Loneliness and isolation – “”Everyone else seems to have it all figured out, but I’m drowning, and no one even notices. It’s like I’ve disappeared, both at work and at home. I don’t know how to reach out or ask for help.”  Having a supportive community is key to the maintenance of good mental health. 

Reduced confidence because of fatigue and physical changes

Physical exhaustion – “I feel like I’m running on fumes. The thought of adding a full workday on top of this exhaustion makes me want to cry. How am I supposed to be productive when I can barely keep my eyes open?”.  Sleep deprivation can lead to reduced performance at work, and thereby confidence issues. 

Body image struggles – “I hate how I look. My body has changed so much. I can’t stand the thought of facing people at work who remember the ‘old’ me. I don’t feel like I belong in my own skin anymore.”  You might not have the body you thought or hoped you would at the end of maternity leave, which can have a negative impact on confidence. 

Recovering from a difficult birth experience– “I can’t escape the memories of my birth. No one understands how traumatic it was. Now I’m supposed to just go back to ‘normal’ as if nothing happened, but inside, I feel broken. How do I heal and work at the same time?”.  Unresolved birth trauma can have a significant impact on confidence levels as you navigate your return to work.

How working moms can improve their confidence

Motherhood deeply impacts self-esteem and identity. It is difficult to keep your confidence at work when there is constant worry about the need to be visible. It is a constant struggle feeling that you always have to go the extra mile just to keep your foot on the career ladder. Maternity leave means that the motherhood gap leaves you fighting to regain your authority and progress in your career. No wonder so many women take career breaks or switch to more flexible jobs after having a baby (with the associated drop in income). 

A lot of the solutions presented in the mainstream to improve confidence tend to be very superficial.  If it was easy to improve confidence we’d all do it in a heartbeat.  

You’re a busy working mom looking after a baby who needs you physically and emotionally still, so it’s hard to prioritize yourself. Here are 2 techniques that you can use as a working mom to improve your confidence at work when you return after maternity leave. 

2 ways you can regain your confidence at work after having a baby: change how you think and feel about yourself. 2. make space for difficult thoughts, and then take action regardless. Read on to see examples of exactly how you can do this, in order to feel more confident at work
2 ways to regain your confidence at work after having a baby

Improve your confidence on returning to work after maternity leave with your thoughts

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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy- based exercises are great at getting you to consciously notice your critical thoughts that will be sapping your confidence, and then to help reframe them. They are relatively accessible, so this is a great way for working moms to improve confidence. 

A great place to start is this worksheet, entitled “Catching Your Critic”. This worksheet will help you to identify your critical thoughts. Once you have done this, the next step is to work out what your thoughts help you to do. Finally, you assess what they hold you back from.

Once you have identified your critical thoughts, the next step is to challenge them and question whether they are true. You can do this inside your head, or by writing them down. Ask yourself questions, such as: is it true that you always mess up? Are you saying you never do anything right?  What evidence do you have that people think you are messing up?

It can be difficult to get started on this type of exercise. Here is a worked example to help!

A worked example of a working mom improving their confidence using this technique: Emma

Scenario: Emma has just returned to her job in marketing after six months of her first maternity leave. She feels overwhelmed and constantly questions her abilities. She is convinced that she’s no longer capable of doing her job well.

Critical Thought: “I’m not good enough at this anymore. I can’t keep up like I used to, and everyone at work can see that I’m failing.”

Step 1: Catching Your Critic 

Emma identifies her critical thought: “I’m not good enough, and I’m failing“.  She recognizes that this thought is chipping away at her confidence and making her feel anxious about her return to work.

Step 2: Challenging the Thought 

Emma starts to question the validity of this thought. She asks herself:

  • Is it true that I’m not good enough anymore?
    No, I haven’t even been back long enough to gauge how I’m performing. I’m still adjusting.
  • Do I always fail at work?
    No, I’ve been successful in this role before maternity leave. I’ve handled difficult projects and been praised for my work.
  • What evidence do I have that people think I’m failing?
    I haven’t received any negative feedback since returning. My manager said they’re glad to have me back.
Step 3: Reframing the Thought 

Emma reframes her critical thought: “I’m still getting used to balancing work and motherhood, and it’s okay to take time to adjust. I’ve been successful before, and I can be again.”

This CBT-based process helps Emma recognize that her self-doubt is based on distorted thinking. By challenging those thoughts, she’s able to rebuild her confidence step by step.

Now, over to you to try! Remember that therapy is like physio for the brain- you need to practice it regularly to see the benefits! Don’t get down if it doesn’t work immediately. Keep plugging away and you will notice the changes with time.

Improve your confidence on returning to work after maternity leave with your actions

Working moms can improve their confidence by using this technique with or without the one listed above. This technique is quite a big thing to do especially if your confidence is rock bottom. It challenges you to feel the fear and go ahead with doing the thing you’re not confident to do regardless . It helps, especially when you start small and then build up the fear factor over time.

This particular technique is based on the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I highly recommend the book “The Happiness Trap” by Russ Harris if you’d like to learn more about this type of life-changing therapy (aff link).

A worked example of a working mom improving confidence using this technique: Meera

Scenario:
Meera has gone back to her job as a project manager after maternity leave, but she’s been holding back from speaking up in meetings for a long time. She doubts whether her ideas are as good as they used to be. Meera keeps thinking, “What if I’m not good enough?”. As a result, she avoids contributing, even though her role needs her to step up and share.

Step 1: Accept the difficult thoughts

Meera notices that her fears and doubts are getting in the way. She admits that she’s scared of being judged or saying something wrong. Instead of fighting those thoughts, she acknowledges them gently: “I’m feeling nervous about speaking up, and that’s okay.” She allows the fear to be there without letting it control her.

Meera can also practice a technique called defusion here. 

Defusion: Creating Distance from Unhelpful Thoughts

Here’s a great technique for working moms to improve confidence at work. It’s called defusion, and it’s all about creating space between you and your thoughts. Often, when we experience self-doubt, it feels like those thoughts are the absolute truth — like “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll mess everything up” — but defusion teaches us that thoughts are just thoughts, not facts.

When you are hooked by your thoughts, they feel like they completely control us. Defusion helps you to step back and look at those thoughts from a distance. It means that you will be able to see them for what they are: just words or ideas passing through our mind. By doing this, you can stop letting those thoughts define you, or stop you from taking action.

How Defusion Works:

  • Notice the thought: First, recognize that you’re having an unhelpful thought. For example, “I’m going to fail.”
  • Label it: Instead of believing it’s true, say to yourself, “I’m having the thought that I’m going to fail.” This creates some distance between you and the thought.
  • Next step: Add “I am noticing” to your thought. Now you are saying to yourself, “I am noticing that I am having the thought that I am going to fail”.
  • Observe without judgment: Let the thought just be there without trying to fight it or push it away. Remind yourself that a thought doesn’t have to be true just because it pops into your head.

By using defusion, you can allow your difficult thoughts to be present without letting them hold you back. It’s about acknowledging that those thoughts exist, but they don’t have to control your actions.

Step 2: Focus on what matters

Meera takes a moment to think about what’s important to her. She values being a leader and working with others. She knows that speaking up is part of who she wants to be at work. Even though she feels scared, she reminds herself that contributing to the team matters to her.

(just FYI- if you’re not sure what your values are, or how they can cause you to feel stressed or burnt out, click here!)

Step 3: Take action, even with the fear

Meera knows that her fear won’t just disappear, so she decides to speak up in the next meeting anyway. She tells herself, “It’s okay to be nervous, but I’m going to share my ideas because they matter”.  During the meeting, she feels her heart race, but she takes a deep breath and says what’s on her mind.

Step 4: Reflect on how it went

After the meeting, Meera realizes that it wasn’t as scary as she thought. People listened to her, and no one judged her harshly. She feels proud of herself for doing something she was afraid of, and she recognizes that she can keep taking these small steps (go Meera!!). 

Step 5: Build on your success

Meera knows that confidence will come over time, so she decides to keep practicing. Next time, she’ll aim to speak up a little sooner or on a bigger topic. Each step forward will help her feel more comfortable and confident.

By being kind to herself and taking small, brave steps, Meera is learning that it’s okay to feel fear and still do what’s important. She doesn’t need to wait until she’s completely confident — she can start now, with compassion and patience.

A bonus tip

Doing this is very challenging. In the example above, Meera finds her voice during a meeting. But, if you’re newly back to work this might be too difficult to do straight away. If you’re finding it hard to get started, here’s where to begin. Pick a small action you can take today that pushes you out of your comfort zone slightly.  Do it, then reflect on how you feel. Rinse and repeat, and challenge yourself more over time.  This will help to build up your confidence.

I hope this is helpful for those of you who are finding it difficult to get the confidence to go for it!  You now know the 2 best ways for working moms to improve their confidence in returning to work after maternity leave.  Use these techniques when you step into work mode.  Whilst returning to work will feel like an incredibly steep learning curve, you will be able to successfully overcome negative thoughts from your first day back.  Using these personal development techniques is a golden opportunity to make your work life work for you!

Please let me know if you have any questions by commenting below. I’m more than happy to personally respond to every one!

21 powerful journaling prompts to overcome stress and reclaim control for working moms

Read on to find 21 journaling prompts for working moms to overcome stress and reclaim control.

How to use the journaling prompts:

The first 7 prompts are for busy moms that are new to journaling. If this is you, then these prompts have been specifically designed to be simple and accessible. The idea is that you can be gently introduced to the practice. Or, perhaps you simply just don’t have the bandwidth to process a more complex journal prompt today. On the days when you have limited capacity, but you still want to benefit from the calming effects of journaling, the beginner prompts are perfect.

The next 7 prompts are for moms that have already done a bit of journaling or creative writing. They are slightly more challenging prompts. These prompts encourage more self-reflection, thereby offering deeper insights into your wellbeing.

The final 7 prompts are for those moms that already have an established journaling practice, and are ready to take things to the next level! These prompts invite moms to engage in profound self-reflection and critical thinking, pushing you to explore deeper layers of your stress and wellbeing.

Feel free to pick whichever prompts appeal the most to you. Alternatively, regardless of your confidence or experience with journaling, you could start with the beginner prompts and work your way through!

First, here’s some advice about how you can build a journaling practice into your busy schedule. The frequency of journaling really does depend on individual preferences and what you hope to achieve. There is no amount or duration of journaling that matters- every little helps! However, for busy working moms, here are some recommendations:

How to get started with a regular journaling practice if you are a working mom

How to get started with journaling if you are a working mom, read on...

1. Start Small: 2-3 Times a Week

  • If you’re new to journaling or have a packed schedule, start by doing it between 2-3 times per week. This approach keeps the practice manageable while still allowing you to experience the benefits of reflection and stress relief. Schedule your journaling at a time when it fits best with your lifestyle. If you’re not sure when you have the time, just take a look at your screen time report! Trust me, you do have the time.
"I don't have time to journal" Schedule your journaling at a time when it fits best with your lifestyle. If you're not sure when you have the time, just take a look at your screen time report! Trust me, you do have the time. You simply need to prioritse it.
Check your screen time report if you think you don’t have 5 minutes a day to journal!
  • This strategy will help stop journaling from becoming overwhelming, and allows for consistency without feeling like an additional chore.

2. Daily Journaling (5-10 Minutes a Day)

  • For those looking to build a routine, a few minutes of journaling each day can become a mindful practice. This doesn’t have to be long or hard work. Everyone can take 5-10 minutes each evening or morning to journal.
  • Daily journaling can help you stay more connected to your emotions, track progress, and manage stress more effectively on an ongoing basis. Doing this regularly at the same time each day will help to establish a journaling habit. Habit building is a far more effective method of getting into a regular journaling practice than relying on motivation alone.

3. As Needed

  • Some moms may find it helpful to journal in response to specific stressors or emotions. Journaling in this way gives you a flexible, stress-relief outlet without feeling the pressure to write on a set schedule. When I was going through burnout recovery, I journaled regularly on the advice of my therapist. Now that I am recovered, I journal as and when I feel I need to!
  • This method allows you to use journaling as a tool for emotional release and clarity whenever you feel overwhelmed, or need space to process a challenge.
How to get started with journaling as a working mom: start small, 5-10 minutes a day, as needed.
How to get started with journaling as a working mom

Ultimately, the key is consistency rather than frequency. Whether you journal daily or a few times a week, the most important thing is to make the habit work for you and your schedule.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, has some brilliant advice about how to make journaling a regular habit in this article. He suggests starting to journal by writing a prompt at the top of a page with 31 lines below it. You then write a single sentence for the next 31 days (ie. for a full month). As he says, “once the month is complete, you can look back on 31 beautiful journal entries. The entire experience is designed to make journaling so easy that you can’t help but do it each day”.

Let’s get to the good stuff then! Below are 21 powerful journaling prompts to help working moms to overcome stress, and regain control.

Beginner journaling prompts for working moms to overcome stress and reclaim control. 

What made you smile today?

  • Reflect on a small moment of joy or something positive from your day.

Write one thing you’re proud of this week

  • Acknowledge a small win, no matter how small it might seem.

Identify three things you are grateful for today?

  • Gratitude helps refocus on positive aspects of life. The biggest benefits of gratitude come from narrative writing (that’s writing stories), but lists are a simple and accessible way to get started!

What is one small act of self-care you can do for yourself this week?

  • Think of an achievable, simple way to care for yourself. Here are some ideas in case you are struggling for inspiration: go for a walk, arrange to meet a friend, do a YouTube yoga class, read the book you’ve been putting off starting, listen to your favourite music on loud, watch an old feel-good favourite TV show on repeat

What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

  • Focus on something positive in the very near future.

Who was kind to you today?

  • Reflect on a gesture of kindness and how it made you feel.

What is one thing you can let go of today?

  • Consider something small you’re holding onto that you can release to reduce stress.

Intermediate journaling prompts for working moms to overcome stress and reclaim control. 

What are the top three sources of stress in your life right now, and how do you usually respond to them?

  • First, Identify stressors. Next, document your reactions. Go one step deeper (if you like!) and write down an alternative way that you can respond to these stressors the next time they occur.

How can you make time for self-care in a busy schedule? What does self-care look like for you?

  • Think critically about your routine and how to integrate more care for yourself. Challenge your ideas about what self care really is.

What would a ‘perfect’ day look like for you? How can you incorporate small elements of that ideal day into your daily life?

  • This prompt is about how to bring more joy into your routine. How can you enhance your day with small changes – and really savour it these changes mindfully?

What does feeling ‘in control’ of your life mean to you? When was the last time you felt that way?

  • Reflect on the concept of control and when you last experienced it. What did it feel like to experience?

How do you react when things don’t go as planned? What helps you stay grounded during these times?

  • Write down your usual response to the unexpected.

Who in your life supports you the most, and how can you lean on them when you need help?

  • Identify your support network and how to use it effectively. This is a very useful prompt for those of you that find it hard to ask for help.

How can you set better boundaries in your personal or professional life to protect your time and energy?

  • Explore boundary-setting and its impact on wellbeing. If you’re not sure where your boundaries lie, follow the resentment!

Advanced journaling prompts for working moms to overcome stress and reclaim control. 

What underlying beliefs or values may be contributing to your current stress levels?

  • Dive deep into the root causes of stress and how your mindset might contribute to it. If you’re finding it hard, think about your upbringing and what was important to your parents. Alternatively, identify your values using this list.

Reflect on a time when you felt completely overwhelmed. What did you learn from that experience, and how could you handle a similar situation differently now?

  • Look at a past challenge- and the growth that came from it.

What does balance mean to you, and how does it show up (or not show up) in your life?

  • Consider the concept of balance in depth and how it aligns with your life’s priorities.

How have your stress levels changed over the last few years, especially with motherhood? How has your perception of ‘success’ or ‘achievement’ shifted?

  • Reflect on your long-term changes in stress and life goals. This one is a big prompt and will need longer than 5 minutes to get stuck into it properly.
Keep going! These prompts are designed to be more complex!

Are there areas of your life where you are being too hard on yourself? How can you practice more self-compassion?

  • Explore your inner critic and ways to be gentler with yourself. Can you explore ways to challenge your inner critic?

What are some personal narratives or stories you tell yourself that may no longer serve you? How can you reframe them to promote a healthier mindset?

  • We tell ourselves stories about our past (and our future) all the time! This prompt will help you to challenge internal stories and reframe them for better wellbeing.

Imagine yourself five years from now, looking back at your current life. What advice would your future self give you about managing stress and maintaining balance?

  • This prompt moves you to future-thinking, in order to gain perspective on the present.
These 21 powerful journaling prompts will help you to progressively deepen your self-awareness and reclaim control over your stress levels. Developing a regular journaling practice will ultimately help you build a calmer and more balanced life. Even better, all you need is a pen and paper, and 5 minutes a day to get started!

If you enjoyed this post, then check out this article, which outlines 3 techniques to use in order to stop feeling stuck in your career.

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