The Burnout Doctor

Doctoring burnt out working professionals to manage stress and achieve career success

How to beat the winter blues: 6 powerful ways for exhausted working moms to conquer Seasonal Affective Disorder

As if balancing work, parenting, and a mountain of laundry wasn’t enough, the colder months can bring on an extra challenge for many working moms: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This type of depression, triggered by the change in seasons (usually winter), can leave even the most organized, multitasking moms feeling drained, irritable, and overwhelmed.

While there’s not a ton of research specifically focusing on working moms and SAD, the science behind it is crystal clear. SAD can impact anyone, and stressed-out mums are especially vulnerable. Let’s dive into how Seasonal Affective Disorder can affect you. You will also learn how and why working moms might be more susceptible to it. Then you’ll learn 6 practical ways to keep the winter blues at bay.

What is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?

SAD is a type of depression that typically occurs during the fall and winter months when daylight hours are shorter. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, SAD is linked to a biochemical imbalance in the brain triggered by a lack of sunlight. This then disrupts your body’s internal clock and leads to feelings of depression, low energy, and increased sleep. You can read more about SAD on the NHS’s website here.

SAD affects around 5% of the U.S. population, but women are four times more likely to be diagnosed than men. Combine this with the already exhausting life of a working mom. It’s no wonder that SAD can hit harder for this group.

In addition to SAD, women (and mothers in particular) are more at risk of burnout than men. Click here to learn how to stop burnout in working moms in their 40s.

Why Stressed Working moms Are More Vulnerable to SAD

Why working moms are more susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder. They are 4 x more likely to be diagnosed than men. Here's why: Already high stress levels Lack of time for self care Reduced physical activity in the winter Constant indoor time with the kids Read on to find out more- and learn how you can conquer the winter blues
Why working moms are more susceptible to SAD
  1. Already high stress levels
    Working moms already face chronic stress from juggling careers, parenting, and home life. Add seasonal depression into the mix, and those feelings of being overwhelmed, irritable, and exhausted can skyrocket. When SAD sets in, it amplifies the strain working moms are already under.
  2. Lack of time for self care
    As a working mom, finding time for yourself is, on occasion, like finding a needle in a haystack. During the winter months, the lack of sunlight can reduce your body’s production of serotonin (the “feel-good” hormone) and throw off your sleep cycle, making you feel even more tired. With little to no time for self-care, the symptoms of SAD can go unnoticed and untreated.
  3. Reduced physical activity
    With darker mornings and colder evenings, it’s even harder to squeeze in time for exercise or outdoor activities. The reduced physical activity is a double-edged sword for working moms. Exercise is a proven mood booster and helps combat the symptoms of SAD .
  4. Constant indoor time with kids
    Let’s be real: winter means less outdoor time for your kids, which equals more chaos in the house. The constant noise and demands can feel like sensory overload, increasing irritability and emotional fatigue—both common symptoms of SAD. The darker months already have a way of sapping your energy, and dealing with cabin-fevered children just makes it worse. Spending more time indoors with your kids also means less daylight exposure for you. This also directly contributes to the development of SAD.

6 Practical Ways for Working moms to Combat Seasonal Affective Disorder

6 practical ways that working moms can conquer Seasonal Affective Disorder: Make the most of natural light (try a light box with a minimum of 10,000 lux if you can’t achieve this) Move your body Eat for energy and mood Schedule “You Time” Connect with your support system Consider professional help
6 practical ways for working moms to conquer SAD
  1. Make the most of natural light Sunlight is your best friend when it comes to combating SAD. Even if it’s freezing outside, try to spend at least 20 minutes in natural light during the day. Sit near windows when possible, or take a short walk during lunch. If you’re stuck indoors, consider using a light therapy box, which mimics sunlight and has been proven to help alleviate symptoms of SAD. Ensure that your light box emits light to a MINIMUM of 10,000 lux. If you’re based in the UK, you could try this lamp from Amazon (aff link). Bonus: A short midday walk can also help you recharge and improve focus, making you more productive when you return to work.
  2. Move your body (even when you don’t want to) It’s hard to get motivated to exercise when it’s cold and dark outside, but staying active is crucial for managing SAD. Even 20 minutes of movement can make a big difference in your mood. Try quick, high-energy exercises like dancing in your living room or following a short online workout during nap time. If you can do your exercise outside in daylight, even better. A 20 minute brisk walk will help get the blood pumping, and boost your mood (see above). The key is consistency, not perfection.
  3. Eat for energy and mood Comfort food is tempting in the winter months, but high-carb, sugary snacks can lead to energy crashes. Focus on eating a balanced diet rich in fruits, veggies, lean proteins, and healthy fats to keep your energy steady. Foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids (like salmon and flaxseeds) are particularly great for boosting mood and brain health.
  4. Schedule “You Time” (even just 10 minutes) You don’t have to carve out hours of self-care to make a difference. Small, intentional breaks can do wonders for your mental health. Whether it’s a 10-minute coffee break in silence, reading a book before bed, or simply sitting by the window with a cup of tea, these little moments help you recharge. Scheduling “you time” is crucial, especially when SAD has you feeling run down.
  5. Connect with your support system SAD can make you feel isolated, and it’s easy to withdraw from social connections. But staying connected to your support system—whether it’s friends, family, or other mums who understand—is essential. A simple phone call or video chat can boost your mood and remind you that you’re not alone in this struggle. Sharing how you feel with someone who understands can be incredibly validating.
  6. Consider professional help If SAD symptoms are significantly impacting your ability to function, it might be time to seek professional help. Speaking with a doctor can provide additional strategies or treatments (like light therapy or antidepressants) to help you manage the seasonal depression. You don’t have to navigate this alone, and there’s no shame in seeking help when you need it.

final thoughts: Take Control of SAD Before It Takes Control of You

Seasonal Affective Disorder can turn an already stressful life into an overwhelming one for working moms. The darker days can sap your energy, increase irritability, and make it harder to focus at work or stay patient at home. But the good news? There are ways to take control of SAD before it takes control of you.

By making small adjustments—like getting more sunlight, staying active, and prioritizing self-care—you can keep the winter blues at bay. Remember, you’re not alone, and even on the hardest days, there are simple strategies to help you feel a little more like yourself.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Whilst the author of this piece is a doctor, if you think you may have SAD, please consult a healthcare provider.

10 challenges working moms face returning to work after burnout (and how to overcome them)

If you’re a working mom who’s taken time off, the prospect of returning to work after burnout can feel daunting, if not downright terrifying. One of the key features of the burnout recovery process is that it takes so much longer than hoped to recover completely. The average burnout recovery takes 1-3 years. But, if you have taken sick leave then the average time off in burnout is 3.5 months. Therefore, it is critically important to appreciate that if you have taken sick leave, you will be returning to work long before you are fully recovered.

What this means in practice is that you must make changes at work to prevent your burnout from getting worse again. You’re going to be going back to work at a potentially vulnerable period of your recovery.

How to overcome the challenges of going back to work after burnout (without burning out again)
How to overcome the challenges of going back to work after burnout (without burning out again)

The idea of re-entering the workforce might very well make you want to crawl back under the duvet (and who could blame you!). But don’t panic! Returning to work after burnout is possible. Returning to work and staying well is also possible. Yes, it’s challenging, but with the right plan and support system, you can re-enter the workplace in a way that is sustainable, healthy, and balanced. In this post, you’ll explore some of the core challenges that moms face when returning to work after burnout. Most importantly, you’ll also read some actionable advice to help you transition back into your career without losing the hard-earned peace you’ve found.

The Core Challenges of Returning to Work After Burnout for working moms- and how to overcome them

Burnout isn’t just about being tired—it’s about feeling completely depleted, mentally, emotionally, and physically. If you’re a working mom who’s taken time off to recover, returning to the office (or your work-from-home desk) can feel like trying to climb Everest in flip-flops. But, fear not, you can navigate this transition successfully!

Let’s dive into the 10 biggest challenges you’ll face when going back to work after burnout and, most importantly, how to tackle them with compassion, practicality… and maybe a touch of humor.

The 10 core challenges of returning to work after burnout: Fear of relapse Feeling guilty for taking time off Worry about what colleagues will think Reduced energy levels Fear of overwhelm Unrealistic expectations Changed workplace dynamics Maintaining work-life balance Worry about competence Feeling isolated/unsupported
The core challenges of returning to work after burnout

Challenge #1: Fear of Relapsing into Burnout

The number one fear when returning to work after burnout? Ending up right back where you started—overwhelmed, exhausted, and heading toward burnout 2.0.

The solution: set firm boundaries on returning to work after burnout

Don’t fall into the same habits that led to burnout. Be clear about your limits from the outset.

Actionable tip: Practice saying “no.” You don’t have to be available for every meeting or project. Block off time in your schedule for “deep work” or self-care breaks—and treat these as non-negotiable.

Bonus tip: If you want to return to work and avoid relapse then you must tackle the root cause of the burnout in the first place. There are 6 work factors that cause burnout- read more about them in part one here, and part two here. Take some time to identify which ones have affected you, and take steps to reduce their impact using the exercises and advice provided.

Challenge #2: Feeling Guilt for Taking Time Off

Working moms are notorious for feeling guilty, and when you add time off for burnout, it really does feel like you’ve failed, or -worse- let others down.

The solution: embrace the power of self compassion

Guilt isn’t your friend here. You took time off to heal, and that was the best thing you could do for everyone—including your family and colleagues.

Actionable tip: When the guilt creeps in, remind yourself that burnout is the result of prolonged stress at work. In fact, it is considered to be the body’s normal response to long term stress. It isn’t even officially recognised as a medical or mental health problem! It is therefore not a weakness. Repeat the mantra: “I am not a robot. I deserve rest, recovery, and wellbeing.”

Challenge #3: Worry About What Colleagues Will Think

You’re concerned that coworkers might see you differently or doubt your abilities now that you’ve taken time off for burnout. You might even feel that you owe them an explanation about why you’ve been off.

The solution: decide how much you’re willing to share before you return to work, and own your decision

You don’t have to share anything with your colleagues if you don’t feel comfortable to. But, you’ll need to be prepared in case of any questions. If you decide not to talk about the reasons for your sick leave, this is absolutely fine. Ensure that you have a one-line statement prepared to use when you’re asked.

If you decide that you are happy to share why you’ve been off, then be proud of the fact that you took proactive steps to prioritize your mental health. Remember, there’s no need to over explain yourself.

Actionable tip: Prepare a simple statement to address it: “I took some time to recharge, and now I’m ready to give my best to the work that matters most.”

Challenge #4: Reduced Energy Levels

Burnout recovery doesn’t end when you clock back in. Your energy reserves might still be low, and you can’t just jump back in at full throttle. Remember that you’re still only months into a recovery that will take years to be complete.

The solution: manage your expectations about your productivity and performance on returning to work after burnout

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was your career. Ease back into your work routine and be realistic about what you can handle. This can be very challenging for the personality types that tend to burn out!

Actionable tip: Organize your tasks using the “energy ladder”—tackle the high-energy tasks when you’re feeling freshest and save lower-energy work for the afternoon when you’re naturally more drained.

Challenge #5: The Fear of Overwhelm

The thought of juggling work, kids, and home life all over again might feel overwhelming. Your to-do list may look more like a novel than a checklist.

The Solution: learn to delegate

You don’t have to do everything yourself. Delegate tasks both at work and at home.

Actionable tip: Make a list of all the tasks you can delegate—whether that’s having a coworker take on some projects or getting help at home. Then actually delegate them! This isn’t failure; it’s smart time management.

Challenge #6: Unrealistic Expectations

You might have grand ideas about returning to work and immediately being the powerhouse you were before. But burnout changes things, and that’s okay.

The solution: learn to pace yourself

Recognize that you are not the same person who left, and that’s actually a good thing. You’re coming back with new perspectives and priorities. Don’t take on too much too soon- build up gradually. Think of it like you’re returning to the gym after time out for a physical injury. If you broke your ankle 6 weeks ago, you’re not going to run a marathon the first time you step foot on a treadmill! You’re going to be cautious and build up your strength and stamina over time. You must take the same approach with return to work after burnout.

Actionable tip: Break your goals into bite-sized, manageable pieces. Celebrate small wins—whether it’s finishing a report or just getting through a meeting without feeling frazzled.

Challenge #7: Workplace Dynamics Have Changed

Maybe there’s been a restructure, or your team dynamics have shifted while you were away. Walking into a changed work environment can feel disorienting.

The solution: communicate and reconnect

If you can, catching up with your boss before you return to talk about any changes that have happened in your absence is a great place to start. On return, take time to get caught up on any changes and reconnect with colleagues. It’s okay to admit you’re feeling a little out of the loop.

Actionable tip: Schedule one-on-one coffee chats or video calls with key team members. Ask them to bring you up to speed on what’s changed, and let them know you’re excited to collaborate again.

Challenge #8: Struggling to Maintain Work-Life Balance on return to work after burnout

It is essential that you avoid bringing work home with you after burnout- you don’t want to end up in a cycle of overwork and increasing stress like before, and run the risk of another episode of burnout.

The solution: create non-negotiable work-life boundaries

Work can wait. Your mental health and family cannot. Stick to your working hours and carve out personal time that’s sacred.

Actionable tip: Set “no work” zones. This might be no checking emails after 6 p.m. or not working on weekends unless absolutely necessary. Communicate these boundaries to your team (and yourself!) early and often.

Challenge #9: Worry About Competence

It’s normal to worry if you’ve “still got it” after time away. You might fear that your skills are rusty or that you won’t be able to keep up with the fast pace.

The solution: focus on what you can control

You’re still the capable, talented person you were before burnout. Trust your abilities, and remember that learning curves are normal.

Actionable tip: Before you return, brush up on key skills or take a refresher course in your field to boost your confidence. This proactive step will make you feel more in control and prepared. Alternatively, do the circle of control exercise as outlined in this article.

Challenge #10: Feeling Isolated or Unsupported

Coming back to work after such a personal struggle can feel isolating, especially if you’re not sure how to talk about it.

The solution: build your support network

You don’t have to go through this alone. Whether it’s a mentor at work, a fellow working mom, or a coach, surround yourself with people who “get it.” The research on burnout is very clear: supportive relationships are one of the key predictors of a successful burnout recovery. Therefore, building your support network is essential.

Actionable tip: Join a working mom or wellness group at work, or create one if it doesn’t exist! Being around others who share your challenges makes a world of difference. Keep open lines of communication with your manager and advocate for yourself when needed.

Final Thoughts about returning to work after burnout

Returning to work after burnout isn’t just about going back to your job. Rather, it’s about re-entering the workforce on your terms, with healthier boundaries, better priorities, and renewed strength. You’ve already done a huge amount of hard work in both recognizing, and starting the healing process from burnout. You must return with improved coping strategies for your stress, new boundaries, and a clearer understanding of your needs. With a thoughtful approach and a focus on your well-being, you can return to work, reclaim your energy, and build a sustainable career that works for you.

Take it one step at a time, and remember: progress is progress, no matter how slow it seems (or, indeed if it feels that you are taking steps back). Thanks to your burnout, you now know better than ever how to take care of yourself going forward.

If you’d like to hear more about my own thoughts about returning to work after burnout, then please do listen to this podcast where I talk to Dr Katya Miles about exactly this!

In this episode, we cover:


Why you need time off work with burnout
What things you need to do to prepare to return to work after burnout
Who you need to help you to return to work well
What changes and/or reasonable adjustments might be helpful for your return, both in the short term and in the long term
What a realistic return to work looks and feels like.


Whilst both Katya and I are both doctors, today’s episode is for anyone who is returning to work after burnout and a period of sick leave.

Productivity for working moms: ditch useless advice and reclaim your time with this simple matrix

Traditional productivity and career advice just doesn’t work for working moms. Productivity for working moms is an entirely different beast!

When you become a working mom, it feels like all those classic productivity tips were designed for someone with endless hours and no small humans demanding snacks every five minutes. Suddenly, the idea of carefully prioritizing tasks or finding that perfect work-life balance seems like a cruel joke. So, let’s take one of those productivity tools—the Eisenhower Matrix—give it a working mom makeover, and finally make it work for the chaos we call everyday life.

For the uninitiated, the Eisenhower Matrix is a simple decision-making tool that helps you prioritize tasks by urgency and importance. It’s a great tool in itself to use at work. But you’re not just juggling emails and meetings here—you’ve got sick kids, work deadlines, and laundry mountains. So, let’s rework this classic productivity tool to fit the life of a busy mom.

There is more information about this tool in this post about career advice that working moms should never take.

How It Works:

The Eisenhower Matrix breaks your to-do list into four quadrants:

  1. Do Now – Urgent and Important
  2. Schedule for Later – Important but Not Urgent
  3. Delegate – Urgent but Not Important
  4. Drop It – Neither Urgent Nor Important

Here’s a little infographic which shows the four quadrants visually:

How to use the Eisenhower Matrix to conquer your to-do list.
How to use the Eisenhower Matrix to conquer your to-do list.

Let’s translate these quadrants into a tool for productivity for working moms:

The Mom Eisenhower Matrix
The Mom Eisenhower Matrix

Quadrant 1: Do Now (The Mom Emergency Quadrant)

These are the tasks that need to be done ASAP and cannot wait. These typically have consequences if they don’t happen soon. Think of this quadrant as “things that will explode if left unattended.”

Examples:

  • Replying to an email from your boss about a major deadline.
  • Picking up a sick child from school (because, well, you can’t leave them there, right?).
  • Paying that overdue bill before you get hit with late fees.
  • Grabbing a snack for your toddler right now to avoid a full-scale meltdown.

What to do:

Tackle these tasks first. In the chaos of motherhood, these tend to pop up every day. But the goal is to limit how many “emergencies” you let into this quadrant by being proactive (more on that below).

Quadrant 2: Schedule for Later (The Grown-Up Stuff That Keeps You Sane)

These tasks are important for your long-term well-being but don’t need to be done immediately. This is where your big-picture life and career goals live—things that can easily get forgotten in the daily grind but will help you stay on track in the long run.

Examples:

  • Planning your child’s birthday party (before it turns into an urgent crisis).
  • Booking your dentist appointment (yes, it’s been two years).
  • Working on that career development project that could lead to a promotion.
  • Scheduling self-care time or booking a night out with friends (because your sanity is important too!).

What to do:

Put these tasks on your calendar and honor the time you set for them. This is where a working mom’s proactive mindset comes into play. These tasks keep your life and career moving forward, but they’re easy to neglect. If it’s scheduled, it’s sacred.

Quadrant 3: Delegate (AKA: Can Someone Else Do This, Please?)

Urgent but not really all that important? These are the tasks you should delegate, outsource, or pass on if possible. The problem is, as moms, we often try to do everything ourselves. But not everything requires your magic touch, and it’s time to pass some of that load.

Examples:

  • Ordering groceries online instead of physically going to the store.
  • Delegating household chores to your partner or older kids (they can load a dishwasher).
  • Handing over a non-essential work task to a colleague or team member.

What to do:

Get creative and start delegating. You don’t need to wear all the hats all the time. By lightening this load, you’ll free up time to focus on what truly matters (and save your sanity).

Quadrant 4: Drop It (The MOM Guilt Dumping Ground)

These tasks are neither urgent nor important, and yet, somehow, they keep showing up on your to-do list. This is where you ditch the mom guilt and give yourself permission to let go of the things that simply don’t matter.

Examples:

  • Perfectly folding laundry (who cares if the towels are a little wrinkled?). Even better, ditch the ironing altogether!
  • Baking homemade treats for the school bake sale when store-bought will do.
  • Checking every social media notification as if it’s the end of the world.
  • Saying “yes” to every playdate invitation just to be polite.

What to do:

Say goodbye to these non-essentials. For the love of all that is holy, let them go! You don’t need to be perfect at everything, and this quadrant is your permission slip to simplify, delegate, or just say “no thanks.” You’ve got enough on your plate.

The Takeaway

This mom-friendly version of the Eisenhower Matrix can help you navigate the chaos of working life and family responsibilities with a bit more clarity and a lot less overwhelm. The key is to be realistic with your time and energy, and to prioritize the things that truly matter—not the things society (or your inner critic) tells you to care about.

And always remember: you’re not failing if your to-do list isn’t completely ticked off. You’re a mom, and you’re already doing the hardest job in the world.

So next time your list feels overwhelming, take a deep breath, grab a cup of tea (or wine), and break it down into these quadrants. You’ve absolutely got this!

If you enjoyed this post, please sign up to my email newsletter The Phoenix. Designed for working moms, it will help to doctor you to career success (without the bro BS).

Career advice that working moms should never take

Here is all the career advice that working moms should never take.

The majority of the bad career advice given generally comes from a good place and is well intentioned. But, so many people don’t understand just how challenging it is to be a working mom.

The unfortunate truth is that working moms can’t have it all. And, if you try to have it all eventually something has to give. Sadly, this normally ends up being your mental health. Working moms are more at risk of burnout than men (regardless of their parental status), and women that aren’t parents. If you are worried that you might be burning out then please do this quiz and follow the next step advice to start to feel better immediately.

When you become a working mom, it feels like the entire career advice rulebook gets thrown out the window. Suddenly, the things that were simple before—networking, career growth, balancing work and life—seem like they were written for someone who has endless time and zero dependents. So, let’s dive into ten pieces of classic career advice, why they don’t work for moms, and what to do instead.

Warning: I’m sprinkling this with some real talk!

Career advice that working moms should never take: the top 10 pieces of classic career advice (and what to do instead)

1. “Just work harder.” (aka hustle culture)

Why it doesn’t work:  Ah, yes, hustle culture. As if you’re not already juggling work deadlines, school pick-ups, and remembering which kid needs to bring in a cake for the school sale tomorrow. For moms, “hustling” harder simply just means “more stress”. There’s only so much you can run on coffee and nerves alone.

What to do instead: Don’t do more, do less—strategically. Focus on a few key work tasks that have the highest impact, and then be ruthless about your boundaries. Outsource or delegate where possible (yes, even housework counts).

To help you identify which tasks to leave, and which to delegate, then the Eisenhower Matrix is a super helpful too to help you! You can read more about how you can use the Eisenhower Matrix to tackle your to-do list here.

How to use the Eisenhower Matrix to conquer your to-do list.
How to use the Eisenhower Matrix to conquer your to-do list.

(side note: I really think that the Eisenhower Matrix is well overdue a working mom makeover. Watch this space!)

2. “You need to be available 24/7 to succeed.”

Why it doesn’t work: You’re already available 24/7—to your kids. The thought of also being available to your job, colleagues, and clients at all hours is enough to make you cry into your third cup of cold tea.

What to do instead:  Lean into your boundaries. Set clear working hours, communicate them, and stick to them like they’re written in stone. Set these expectations early too —both for your employer and your family. You’ll earn respect by being firm about your time, and, surprisingly, things will still get done even if you’re not always on call.

3. “Network, network, network!”

Why it doesn’t work: Yes, let’s just pop off to a networking event after a full day of work- when in reality you need to sprint to nursery to pick up your toddler up last (again). Sure, that’s easy!

What to do instead: Use your time wisely. Instead of traditional networking events, leverage online platforms like LinkedIn. Send a meaningful message to a connection while melting at their swimming lessons, or join a relevant Facebook group where you can participate on your own time. Networking doesn’t have to mean cocktail hours—it can happen from your sofa while your kids watch cartoons (also- screen time is fine. Do whatever it takes!).

4. “Just say yes to every opportunity!”

Why it doesn’t work: Saying “yes” to everything when you’re a mom is like willingly walking into quicksand. There’s only so much “yes” to go around before you feel overwhelmed, overcommitted, and burned out.

What to do instead: Channel your inner toddler and learn the power of “no.” Politely decline opportunities that don’t align with your goals or values. And when you do say yes, make sure it’s to something that genuinely excites you or furthers your career in a way that’s worth your limited energy. It’s about being strategic about what you say yes to!

Halfway through! Keep reading to learn classic career advice for working moms that you should never take

5. “You just need to be more productive.”

Why it doesn’t work: The old “be more productive” mantra, as if you’re a factory churning out mountains of plastic tat. The truth is, when you’re balancing the emotional, mental, and physical load of both work and family, there are days when just surviving feels like an accomplishment.

What to do instead: Redefine productivity. It’s not about doing more in less time—it’s about doing the right things in the time you have. Focus on three key tasks a day. If you nail those, you’re winning, even if the laundry remains a monument to your procrastination (as mine does!!)

6. “You need to climb the corporate ladder.”

Why it doesn’t work: Climbing a ladder requires two hands and two feet. Let’s be real, for you one hand is usually holding a baby, and the other is answering work emails whilst simultaneously trying to drink a cold coffee and shovel a late lunch into your mouth.

What to do instead: Forget the ladder. Focus on building a career lattice instead—a flexible, non-linear path that allows you to shift horizontally, take breaks, or even step back when needed. Career progression doesn’t have to be a straight line, especially when you’re navigating the beautifully messy world of motherhood.

7. “Stay late at the office to show you’re committed.”

Why it doesn’t work: Staying late is a no-go when you have a daycare pick-up deadline that’s more rigid than the Queen’s Guard. Commitment has been treated the same as visibility for far too long.

What to do instead: Work smart, not long. Use your time at work wisely and avoid the office “stay late” trap. Deliver results within your working hours, and if possible, explore flexible working arrangements. Commitment isn’t measured by hours, it’s measured by impact. At least, it should be. If your employer isn’t being sensitive to your new normal, it might be time to look for a job elsewhere.

8. “You should always aim for a promotion.”

Why it doesn’t work: Promotions often come with more responsibility, longer hours, and more stress. For many mums, the goal isn’t always about climbing higher—it’s about finding balance and keeping everything (mostly) intact.

What to do instead: Redefine what “success” means to you. After having kids what success means to you will almost inevitably change. You might still want to climb the ladder- in which case, go for it! For others, it’s about creating a sustainable work-life rhythm that allows for career fulfilment and family time. Aim for roles that align with your values and offer the flexibility you need.

9. “Make your personal life secondary to your career.”

Why it doesn’t work: For working moms, the personal and professional are forever intertwined. No one lives in a vacuum, and there are days when your kid’s school play is more important than a client presentation. And that’s OK.

What to do instead: Embrace integration over separation. Let go of the idea that your personal and professional lives are in competition. Some days your career will take the spotlight, other days it’ll be your family, and that’s perfectly fine. Balance is a moving target. Also- it’s ok to not be be achieving 100% in every single aspect of your life.

10. “Never take a break or gap in your career.”

Why it doesn’t work: Life doesn’t always unfold the way you hoped, or planned. Whether it’s for maternity leave, caregiving, or mental health, there are times when a break is necessary, not a career killer.

What to do instead: Take the break if you need it. Be kind to yourself. So many women have returned from career breaks stronger, more focused, and with a clearer sense of purpose. You can always pick up where you left off, and there’s no shame in pausing to recalibrate.

Traditional career advice just wasn’t built with the complexities of working motherhood in mind. And, while some of it might seem helpful in theory, it often falls flat in the face of real-life responsibilities. But, don’t despair—you’re doing an incredible job. By reworking the rules to fit your life, you’ll find your own path to success, fulfilment, and maybe even a little bit of peace.

If you enjoyed this post on classic career advice for working moms, then you’ll love my email newsletter, the Phoenix. And let me know in the comments which piece of advice was your favourite!

Learn the 6 stages of burnout recovery to discover where you are right now

This post focuses on the 6 common stages of burnout recovery that pretty much everyone who experiences burnout goes through. 

Burnout recovery is a huge topic that realistically cannot be covered in a short blog piece. So, do check out my burnout recovery series on TikTok if you want to find out more.  I cover the 6 stages of burnout recovery in depth in the videos. There will also be lots more coming on recovery on here too!

If you’re not sure if you’re burnt out, be sure to read this post about the stages of burnout itself. You might also find the burnout assessment quiz in this post helpful.

Let’s move on to today’s topic, which is the 6 stages of burnout recovery!

Burnout Recovery Stage 1: Realising the problem 

the 6 stages of burnout recovery: 1 realising the problem

It is surprisingly hard to recognise burnout in yourself. The first step to recovery is acknowledging that you have a problem. By the time you get to this point, it’s usually very obvious to friends and family that you are in trouble. It might only just have clicked for you however. This is totally normal. Once you have realised the situation, and understand that things have to change, then you move quickly to stage 2.

Burnout Recovery Stage 2: Taking a break from work (or other source of stress)

the 6 stages of burnout recovery: 2 taking a break

Just after you’ve realised that you’re burnt out, ideally you should have a break from work. For people who manage to take time out, it’s mainly through taking sick leave. Sometimes this can be for as long as a year, but on average it’s for 3.5 months. Others achieve a break by leaving their job entirely.  Having a break is the ideal way to kick start the next stage of recovery, which is all about restoring your health.

But, not everyone has the luxury of being able to take paid sick leave or leave their jobs.   If this is you then you will be pleased to hear that many people do continue to work throughout their burnout recovery. Even better, it is possible to feel better while continuing to work.  If you are continuing to work, it’s important to reduce the cause of your stress and put temporary changes in place to help. You may need to negotiate these changes with your employer.

Don’t get too hung up if you’re not able to take time off work. There is no single act (such as leaving your job, or taking sick leave) that determines if your recovery is successful. There are, however 3 key aspects to burnout recovery that you will need to focus on. They are: believing you are in control of your work and wellbeing, and supportive relationships. Put all of your energy into these 3 things (more on how to do this to come!).

What if the cause of your burnout isn’t work?

Sometimes the cause of burnout isn’t your work, it’s things outside of it. It might be parenting or caring that is making you burnt out. In this case, it’s very tricky to completely remove yourself from the cause of the stress, because you are responsible for others. If this is you, then asking for help to reduce the burden of care of you is the first place to start.

If the cause of your burnout is due to being neurodivergent, then time off work might help. Here, the burnout cycles are driven by the effects of living and working in a world that is set up for the neurotypical. Crucially, your focus needs to be on tackling your symptoms and how they directly affect how you live and work.

Burnout Recovery Stage 3: Focusing on, and restoring, your health 

the 6 stages of burnout recovery: 3 focusing on health

Now it’s time to focus on your health. This stage of recovery is about restoring your health.  For the majority, this starts with dealing with their fatigue. Most people at this stage sleep excessively, either by sleeping longer overnight or by taking frequent naps. 

Besides sleep, people also engage in low-energy activities, such as watching TV or playing mindless games on their phones. After the initial fatigue starts to improve, people can gradually start to engage in fun activities. They restart doing their hobbies, they see their friends and family socially, and they do physical activities. The goal at this stage is to improve your mental and physical health to a point where your focus, decision making, ability to control emotions and concentration is just good enough to move onto the next stage.

Burnout Recovery Stage 4: Looking at your values 

the 6 stages of burnout recovery:4 exploring values

At this point, having regained some energy and restored their health, people reflect on their old values. They then explore and identify their new post burnout values, in order to support their recovery. 

Your values act as your internal moral and ethical compass. Burnout is a lot like other significant life events, such as getting married, having a baby, a big bereavement or a divorce. It causes you to question what is really important. 

One common change during this particular stage is that everyone ultimately ends up placing more emphasis on their health. This stage of questioning your values is really important. Every subsequent decision that you make needs to be based on what is now important to you post-burnout.

Not sure what your values are? Start with this list.

Burnout Recovery Stage 5: Exploring changes 

the 6 stages of burnout recovery: 5 exploring changes

In this stage, you work hard to research job opportunities that align with their new post-burnout values. This could be exploring the idea of continuing in your pre-burnout role with changes to suit your new values. Or, it could mean looking for something completely new. This stage is about exploring rather than doing, though. It’s about looking at every option that is open to you without the fear or burden of having to commit to anything just yet. Consider it window shopping!

If you’re on sick leave, you will simply be thinking about these changes. 

Perhaps you’re about to return to work, in which case you will need to think about what changes you need to make prior to your return. 

Or, you might still be working. In which case, you will need to think about the changes you need while simultaneously balancing your workload. 

Burnout Recovery Stage 6: Making changes 

the 6 stages of burnout recovery:6 making changes

The final stage of the 6 stages of burnout recovery is all about making changes to support your recovery. It is possibly the trickiest stage to get right and stay well during. It might mean changes to your existing job, or it might mean leaving your job to step into a similar role in a different organisation. You could take on something completely different in a new industry. 

For those of you that burnt out away from work, this stage involves making changes to the root cause of your stress (if possible), how you handle that stress, and how you can be supported to stay well going forward.

You will be looking at making these changes long before you are fully recovered from burnout.  Most people with burnout start looking at making changes weeks to months after first realising they are burnt out, but complete burnout recovery takes 1-3 years. 

So, when you start to think about making changes, you must respect the fact that you will have less energy and will not be back to your full strength for some time.  This is very hard for people with burnout to come to terms with, because the people that burn out are generally very driven, motivated and capable.

So, now you know the 6 stages of burnout recovery. Take a moment to reflect on where you might be in this cycle. What do you need to do to move onto the next stage?

If you enjoyed this article then you will love my email newsletter The Phoenix. Sign up below!

REFERENCES: Bernier, D. (1998). A study of coping: Successful recovery from severe burnout and other reactions to severe work-related stress. Work & Stress, 12(1), 50–65. https://doi.org/10.1080/02678379808256848

Sign up to The Phoenix – the Burnout Doctor’s email newsletter

Copyright © 2025 The Burnout Doctor · Theme by 17th Avenue